Our Veiled Sins- Sex Grief

[KegalMaster]

Hey everyone! I’m working on a story about Michelle, a widow struggling with unresolved grief and growing sexual tension. Her therapist refers her to Dr. Allenby, a specialist in sexual grief, and that’s when things take a turn as her desires start manifesting as vivid hallucinations of her late husband, Michael.

But just as she begins to explore this new reality, a young woman starts stalking her, claiming to have known Michael and even more disturbingly, hinting that Dr. Allenby is connected to his death. As Michelle unravels the truth, the lines between longing, loss, and something far more dangerous start to blur.

I’d love to hear your thoughts! Does this premise intrigue you? Anything you’d like to see explored further? Any feedback is super appreciated!

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Is there a reason you used such similar names, Michelle and Michael? If not, it could add confusion. Is one a sex-switch clone of the other, maybe? Is Michelle actually Michael, who Dr. Allenby brainwashed and forcibly transition, or something?

-Annie

 

[GlennJenko]

Ditto @TheWritingGroup on the names being too similar unless there's some deliberate reasoning for it.

Otherwise it seems like an extremely interesting idea for an erotic thriller type thing. I guess my only question is the exact ages of the characters. By the picture who I'm guessing is Michelle seems to be at least in her 50s, while there's no reference for the "young" woman. That then leads to the question of if anything erotic is going to happen between Michelle and the young woman, or Michelle and the doctor.

 

[Mittering]

The young woman could be one of the hallucinations of a younger Michelle. I don't know if you have defined the younger woman or not in your story yet.

If not, that hallucination of a faceless Michelle could be trying to warn her older self that Dr. Allenby is her college era stalker. He was always there in the background of her schooldays, pining away while Michelle was the popular girl.

He resigned himself to wait for the day she would become available. After years of patiently waiting, his chance fell into his lap when her late husband sought counseling for some issue or other. The doctor engineered the husband's early demise using his profession and placed himself in her time of need.

 

[KegalMaster]

Hey, sorry for the confusion! This is my first time posting in forums like this, and honestly, my brain works like a squirrel most of the time.

The story is meant to blend Michelle’s struggle with grief and sexual bereavement into a thriller. The idea is to pace it out so that her sexual hallucinations of Mike are triggered by significant memories, all while she’s wrestling with the loneliness of being without him. After years of suppressing her urges and working through her grief in therapy, Michelle reaches a breaking point. That’s when her longtime therapist refers her to Dr. Allenby, a specialist in sexual behavior.

Allenby pushes Michelle to embrace her suppressed desires, leading her to explore areas of her sexuality she’s never experienced before. But as she starts to open up, she gets the unsettling feeling that someone is following her. It turns out she’s right. A young woman has been stalking her, but not out of malice. She’s actually trapped in a twisted world Allenby has created.

Before his death, Mike was trying to help this young woman escape Allenby’s grasp, along with others under her control. In a major twist, Michelle eventually realizes that after her first session with Allenby, her hallucinations of Mike aren’t just in her head anymore, they involve a real person, someone Allenby is manipulating.

At its core, the story is really about Allenby and the unethical ways she uses her practice, preying on vulnerable people with sexual addictions and using them for her own twisted methods of therapy.

I’d love to make this into a series, with each story focusing on a different patient of Allenby and eventually leading to her downfall.

Also, just to clear up a small detail I chose the names Michelle and Michael on purpose. There’s a flashback where younger Michelle thought it was a sign they were meant to be, inspired by a past relationship I had where my partner and I shared the same initials, and she thought it was the craziest coincidence. To avoid confusion in the story, I mostly refer to Michael as "Mike." And yes, Michelle is in her 50s, as is her best friend.

Hope that clears things up! Let me know if you have any thoughts or if anything still feels unclear.

 

[Mittering]

Well now I just feel like an idiot. Lol, sorry I totally butchered it.

 

[GlennJenko]

Hey, sorry for the confusion! This is my first time posting in forums like this, and honestly, my brain works like a squirrel most of the time.

...
Hope that clears things up! Let me know if you have any thoughts or if anything still feels unclear.

Thanks for the clarification.

It seems like you have a clear idea on what you want to do, so I say go for it!

 

[KegalMaster]

Well now I just feel like an idiot. Lol, sorry I totally butchered it.

No, not your fault I own that mistake I didn't give enough information the first time.

 

[KegalMaster]

Thanks for the clarification.

It seems like you have a clear idea on what you want to do, so I say go for it!

Thanks, if you have any ideas or advice I would appreciate it.

 

[SteelPoint]

Er... "sexual grief"..?

Come again..?

I suppose all kinds of stories can be thought up on the premise of unreal, fabricated medical conditions. If you're going to draw a readership in by means of verisimilitude, you're going to have to do better than that.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Er... "sexual grief"..?

Come again..?

I suppose all kinds of stories can be thought up on the premise of unreal, fabricated medical conditions. If you're going to draw a readership in by means of verisimilitude, you're going to have to do better than that.

Maybe it's more like guilt with the grief.

Maybe she is a very highly sexual person, (perhaps hypersexual) and her wonderful husband kept her satisfied. Now he's passed and she's grieving but her sexual needs are left unmet and it makes her hurt even more. It's only been a few months but already she's thinking about finding other partners. I can imagine some guilt associated with that.

 

[SteelPoint]

It's being made out to be some kind of recognised medical condition. Sorry, no. The entire premise is false and needs either radical rehashing or forgetting.

 

[KegalMaster]

Er... "sexual grief"..?

Come again..?

I suppose all kinds of stories can be thought up on the premise of unreal, fabricated medical conditions. If you're going to draw a readership in by means of verisimilitude, you're going to have to do better than that.

Sexual grief or bereavement sex is actual a real thing that is not widely looked at it as its not defined as a sexual addiction and mostly occurs with older individuals that have lost their partner. There are many ways that bereavement sex can effect someone from them using sex as a way to deal with grief or in this case Michelle was actively sexual in her marriage but now feels guilty of moving on.

 

[SteelPoint]

"Not widely looked at"

"Bereavement sex"

Pure nonsense.

 

[Rob_Royale]

"Not widely looked at"
"Bereavement sex"
Pure nonsense.

Happily, no one gives a shit about this person's opinion.

So @KegalMaster you go ahead and write your story. People will read it and no doubt enjoy it, whether or not they believe such a condition exists. This is erotica. Most of it is implausible at best, in any case.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Happily, no one gives a shit about this person's opinion.

So @KegalMaster you go ahead and write your story. People will read it and no doubt enjoy it, whether or not they believe such a condition exists. This is erotica. Most of it is implausible at best, in any case.

Wait. Are you implying that the average 45-year-old man can't come three times in the same hour?

Next you'll tell me that ordinary-looking people exist in the universe.

-Rocco

 

[GlennJenko]

Isn't widow's fire also along the lines of what OP is talking about? I know that's a genuine phenomenon.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Isn't widow's fire also along the lines of what OP is talking about? I know that's a genuine phenomenon.

Sounds right to me.

 

[SteelPoint]

Sounds right to me.

Er... so..? You think anyone's interested in your personal reaction..?

Happily, no-one gives a flying fuck about what "sounds right" to you and still less about your attempts to belittle the comments of others.

So, OP, you go ahead and write your story on the basis you've outlined. It may or may not appeal to that unthinking section of readership who can live with the implausible and are basically only here for wank fodder - that kind of truly "talented" story. It certainly won't draw in any kind of discerning readership.

It depends on which target audience you choose.

 

[KegalMaster]

Er... so..? You think anyone's interested in your personal reaction..?

Happily, no-one gives a flying fuck about what "sounds right" to you and still less about your attempts to belittle the comments of others.

So, OP, you go ahead and write your story on the basis you've outlined. It may or may not appeal to that unthinking section of readership who can live with the implausible and are basically only here for wank fodder - that kind of truly "talented" story. It certainly won't draw in any kind of discerning readership.

It depends on which target audience you choose.

Well, my target audience isn't going to be for angry online trolls that need to masturbate x7 a day and have lost touch with reality. Everyone has their own opinion on what they believe is real and not real, that's fine. When it comes to mental wellbeing the line is always blurry, like I imagine you have a strict world view and everything is black and white. To be honest I don't care you're not the target audience so, please stick your '90s porn' story telling style and forget about the rest of the world.

 

[KegalMaster]

Wait. Are you implying that the average 45-year-old man can't come three times in the same hour?

Next you'll tell me that ordinary-looking people exist in the universe.

-Rocco

Well, Rocco the craziest thing happened yesterday while I was at the checkout at the store. There I was minding my own business trying not to get impatient due to the cashiers' slow work ethic when I looked over my shoulder and you won't believe it. Standing two lanes down was an ordinary-looking person, I felt like I was about to do a bit on Animal Planet.

 

[000zing]

So, OP, you go ahead and write your story on the basis you've outlined. It may or may not appeal to that unthinking section of readership who can live with the implausible and are basically only here for wank fodder - that kind of truly "talented" story. It certainly won't draw in any kind of discerning readership.

It depends on which target audience you choose.

The readers on Lit. do seem pretty clearly to split along those lines. This has been commented on many times before. There seems to be some kind of objection to your pointing it out one more time.

Maybe the OP is writing this mainly for his own interest rather than hoping to appeal to any wider audience beyond the wankers..?