Oral on bf...

[quietinpublic]

I've always been pretty nervous about going down on a guy and I've only done it a handful of times on an old partner (this was about 3-4 years ago!).

I really like the guy I'm with so last night he gave me free reign to explore and I finally gained enough confidence to start giving him oral. However he's a bit bigger and thicker than the last guy I tried it with an um...my mouth isn't very big apparently! I really want to try more but that pesky gag reflex keeps getting in the way. I tried as much as I could but didn't want to end up coughing all over the place - coughing isn't sexy. He really enjoyed what I did but I couldn't get any further...


Any advice on getting past the gag reflex or is it simply a case of sucking up (excuse the pun) and getting on with it?

 

[MiggedyMike]

All puns aside, it really is just a matter of getting past the gag reflex. This may come as a surprise, but just about any guy will lend you his member if you need to practice.. lol. Seriously, this guy you were with recently... tell him you want to work on it, and that you specifically want to work on getting over your gag reflex. Either let him push your head down, or, if that's too much for you, tell him you're going to, and he'll be aware that he'll be dealing with a little coughing for a while. Trust me; considering the reward he'll receive when the "work" is done, he won't mind. Good luck!

 

[janeyl]

I've always been pretty nervous about going down on a guy and I've only done it a handful of times on an old partner (this was about 3-4 years ago!).

I really like the guy I'm with so last night he gave me free reign to explore and I finally gained enough confidence to start giving him oral. However he's a bit bigger and thicker than the last guy I tried it with an um...my mouth isn't very big apparently! I really want to try more but that pesky gag reflex keeps getting in the way. I tried as much as I could but didn't want to end up coughing all over the place - coughing isn't sexy. He really enjoyed what I did but I couldn't get any further...


Any advice on getting past the gag reflex or is it simply a case of sucking up (excuse the pun) and getting on with it?

Are you talking about giving someone oral sex or deep throating him? I have an evil gag reflex but it doesn't stop me giving what he says are the best blow jobs he's ever had-to the point where he never used to cum from being sucked and does now...it's not all about throat fucking sweetie...unless you actually like gagging, wretching and spitting...it's murder on your mascara too...

 

[albertaboy]

Enthusiasm rules when it comes to blowjobs, use your hands as well, if you can't deep throat him concentrate your efforts on the underside of the head and the top few inches while using your hands to stimulate his balls and the area under them.


I'm sure your guy will appreciate the enthusiasm most.

 

[infinity706]

I don't really have an problem deep throating. I've just found that it isn't really one of my best moves. I can do better with my tongue, hands, and lips.

 

[simplegirl]

I don't deep throat and hubby loves my blow jobs. Just wrap your hand around the base of the penis, that way you don't accidentally go down too far for your throat and he gets sensation the entire length of his penis.

One really cool blow job is this (it's called the parrot):

lie down between his legs, your mouth even with his dick and extend one hand to his mouth and insert one finger in his mouth. No need to say anything. Just mimic whatever he does to your finger with your mouth and his penis. He'll catch on very quickly to what you are doing. For example if he licks, you lick, if he sucks you suck etc... That way he can show you what really feels good without having to verbalize it and it takes the guesswork out for you. Store the info in your brain for future blow jobs with him. Enjoy!

 

[NomadLady]

While most really will be REALLY impressed when you deep throat them, that isn't what is going to make them cum. Like others have said, they love the enthusiasm and willingness to please them more than anything.

I'm sure your friend will let you practice as long as you want and that is the best thing for working on the gag reflex.

 

[quietinpublic]

Thanks everyone! I understand that deepthroating isn't everything but his head is pretty big and without too much effort it started to hit the back of my mouth...I just couldn't get past that. Had to stop

 

[aniowachick]

The gag reflex should get better with time. I used to have a bad one and now I can deepthroat. However, while deepthroat is hot, it isnt what is going to make him cum. Have hime lie on his back so you have total control over everything.. Take your time, lick, suck , stroke and enjoy yourself.

 

[rthnck]

...while deepthroat is hot, it isnt what is going to make him cum...

...REALLY impressed when you deep throat them, that isn't what is going to make them cum...

I have to respectfully disagree with the above statements. When it comes to BJ's I love all aspects but when it gets buried in my gf's throat, it's all over.

 

[EricaCroft]

relax

Best advise is "relax", relax your throat...start slow and push deeper and deeper with every motion down. If that fails u, they have throat numbing spray u can use...that should help achieve the goal and outcome u want....Good Luck.

 

[compliant]

Stretch

Me 2, And my jaw aches if i try to hard. Still enjoy it tho

 

[Texguy84]

Lots of little things you can do that he'll like, depending on the guy obviously, and also depending on you (if you're obviously uncomfortable, for example, that may or may not be a turn-on for him (not knowing anything about the fellow, I can't say which).

One thing that makes my toes curl is when my wife looks me in eyes while she's giving head. Hard to say what exactly about it gets me going, but it's amazing how much mischief a person can communicate with only their eyes.

 

[swtrthnhoney]

Saw a girl at bikeweek in Daytona deepthroat a banana. I was amazed at her technique and attempted to assign it to memory. I can't really give you any pointers.
However, I did try the banana thing more than once. I find that I can relax more now and am not so worried about the gag reflex, which has a great effect, it isn't as reflexive.
Possibly practicing on a banana might assist you with that part.
Happy practicing either way!

 

[Noira]

I don't have much of a gag reflex anymore, I admit. There is a point where I gag (and I have not found that point through oral, because I have not given a blowjob ever), but it's pretty far down in there. You see, I thought it was entertaining to try and touch my uvula when I was young. And then it was trying to touch the back of my throat. I never could make myself vomit like some kids did. I was bound and determined to touch my uvula. I can also touch my eye, but that's from removing eyelash hairs. I can shove my fingers down my throat and watch other people gag by this point and I'm sure as heck okay.

Basically, my point is that you can train yourself out of it through sheer determination. While you may not have an 8 year old child's determination to touch her uvula while everyone else looks on and retches (let me tell you that's a very satisfying achievement when you're 8!) you have the determination to defeat your gag reflex for your SO.

Try giving blowjobs to inanimate objects that are smaller than the penis in question. Perhaps a toothbrush handle or a hairbrush or something similarly small. Even just your fingers, if they're long enough to reach, will be a good starting point. Not even a banana, because that's quite large. You want to numb the gag reflex first and then work on larger objects. Once you can stick something small down your throat (such as your fingers) then work on larger things. You'll at least slow it down.

 

[satindesire]

Thanks everyone! I understand that deepthroating isn't everything but his head is pretty big and without too much effort it started to hit the back of my mouth...I just couldn't get past that. Had to stop

Good oral sex for a lot of men includes hand and well as mouth. So instead of relying just on your lips, tongue and teeth to pleasure him, you should be creating a "tunnel" with your hand, letting your fingers meet up with your lips to literally almost "extend" your throat.

That way you can lengthen the sensation of your mouth for him, and avoid your gag reflex. Plus, your hand can squeeze tighter than your mouth can, making a good way to increase the sensations.

Trust me, relying on just your mouth can be fun, but in my (albeit few) relationships, it's been all about hand+mouth.

 

[infinity706]

The hand + mouth advice works better in almost every case. Even with my much larger number of guys, it's really hard to get guys off with your mouth only. Of course, even if you're not using your hands on his dick, you may as well be doing something with them. There's plenty of fun places on yours or his body to put them.

 

[djyak]

Can't speak for everyone, but I'm small and can't fit my entire guys penis into my mouth. But he loves it when I lick up and down his shaft while jerking him, massaging his balls, and goes crazy when I use my nipples on the head of his penis. Hope this helps, always fun to experiment.

Tifani

 

[RandomAssGuy]

I don't know how you ladies do it. I still gag on my toothbrush sometimes. lol The enthusiasm part of it is as important, if not more important than the actual physical sensations. If your into it, he will be too. Have fun and explore each other slowly and things will work themselves out in a little time.

Oh, and his ego is probably up a notch or two watching you struggle to handle it. I know mine would be. Guy thing I guess.

 

[Ex Princess]

A lot of the guys I have been with have enjoyed me doing lots of various lickings all over them and sucking whatever I can. I think just changing up the textures (lips, tongue, hands, etc) can make it exciting. It's not all about cramming it into your mouth for hours at a time. Sometimes just a sexy glance upward to them while you run the flat of your tongue all the way from the base to the tip of his cock is enough to send them over the edge. Especially when you can just lock your eyes in on them while you do it...

 

[jason28053]

A lot of the guys I have been with have enjoyed me doing lots of various lickings all over them and sucking whatever I can. I think just changing up the textures (lips, tongue, hands, etc) can make it exciting. It's not all about cramming it into your mouth for hours at a time. Sometimes just a sexy glance upward to them while you run the flat of your tongue all the way from the base to the tip of his cock is enough to send them over the edge. Especially when you can just lock your eyes in on them while you do it...

I totally agree with the locking eyes on comment.... that sends me over the edge

 

[Ex Princess]

Correct me if I am wrong, but in my experience it seems that most men are more into the visual part of oral sex. Looking up seductively, licking your lips, leaving a trail of saliva on their more sensitive areas might be hotter than shoving their entire member down your throat anyway...

 

[jason28053]

Correct me if I am wrong, but in my experience it seems that most men are more into the visual part of oral sex. Looking up seductively, licking your lips, leaving a trail of saliva on their more sensitive areas might be hotter than shoving their entire member down your throat anyway...

you are not wrong.. that is very sexy!!

 

[yuna1981]

Good oral sex for a lot of men includes hand and well as mouth. So instead of relying just on your lips, tongue and teeth to pleasure him, you should be creating a "tunnel" with your hand, letting your fingers meet up with your lips to literally almost "extend" your throat.

That way you can lengthen the sensation of your mouth for him, and avoid your gag reflex. Plus, your hand can squeeze tighter than your mouth can, making a good way to increase the sensations.

Trust me, relying on just your mouth can be fun, but in my (albeit few) relationships, it's been all about hand+mouth.

Echoing the "tunnel" advice. What helps with the tunnel is plenty of saliva to lubricate the motion of your hand.

 

[BrielleJameson]

Relax, enjoy it, be enthusiastic, and practice... that's advice I agree with. As is the tunnel-with-your-hand thing (use the other to play with his balls). They also make some tube-like sex toys you can try (with lube) but I have never used any.

When I started dating my now-husband, I'd only gone down on one guy before, and it was one of those things where I was "if you loved me, you'd do it" talked into it, WAY before I was ready. It really effed with my head, and I didn't let myself get to that point in a relationship with any guys until now-hubby.

When we got to that point, I told him what had happened and explained that I was apprehensive about things. He was understanding, and with his help (and lots of Internet research on technique)... well, now I love giving head It wasn't something I was able to do right away, and not something I was fantastic at right away, but with practice, relaxing, and having a good time with it, it all worked out

FWIW, I found it easier to start in the 69 position. For me, the angle was better, and the, uh, distraction helped me relax.