Oral Issue.

[kevin_168]

on the other hand, look at your sexual life... does it seem like you're always pleasuring her? going down on her, doing everything she likes, etc.? although respect is of course an issue, a sexual relationship whouldn't be all take and no give.

This is the very problem I do think you have to take sseriously!!!!!!!

 

[Dickkramer]

So what you are saying is that you think she is lazy?

Cause that's what I'm getting from this post.

Okay here is the deal. You and she must find a way to communicate about this in a way that is as non threatening and emotionally charged as possible.

If you tell her that oral sex is important to you and she doesn't want to do anything about it, that sounds like a problem to me.

As far as it hurting and you being too big, yeah that can happen. Didn't you love it when she said how big you were though? Bask in that thought alone for a moment cause that's kind of nice.

Okay back the challenge, you could try other positions that might help her.

Also you need to get this whole feeling like a whore thing talked out. Tell her how you feel about her when she does it. Do you feel like she is being like a whore? If not tell her how you are thinking of her particularly if it is complimentary or sweet.

If you want something that she doesn't want to get then, you might want to make a deal. I'll do for you and you can do for me, how does that sound. My sense of fairness automatically does that but maybe some chicks need it laid out?

Final thought, don't nag her about it, or make her feel pressured after discussing it. It won't help and will create even more resentment for both of you. (Personally I'd be pissed if something was important to me and my partner didn't seem to give a crap or enough of one. In fact that's how I feel right now.)

Fury

I have tried talking to her about it, and her response is"I don't like talking about it" it has turned her off to the point of bringing it up makes her roll over cover up and make me disappear.

As for the question "do you go down on her", yes I do it as often as she allows. That is another thing she doesn't like, she says "it feels funny having me down there. Not that it doesn't feel good ( it feels awesome ) but it just feels weried."

I think there may be some psychological problems she has that I don't know about.

 

[FurryFury]

I have tried talking to her about it, and her response is"I don't like talking about it" it has turned her off to the point of bringing it up makes her roll over cover up and make me disappear.

As for the question "do you go down on her", yes I do it as often as she allows. That is another thing she doesn't like, she says "it feels funny having me down there. Not that it doesn't feel good ( it feels awesome ) but it just feels weried."

I think there may be some psychological problems she has that I don't know about.

I don't know how young or old she is but sometimes it takes time and patience to get someone to open up or be more willing to do some things.

I hope you both take the time to do that and NOT just about oral sex.

Good luck,

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

Okay I'm feeling bitchy tonight so here is a new tact. Warning: Doing this could get your ass in some serious trouble.

Ask your lady this, did she feel like a whore when she did oral before you were married? Just why did she do oral more often before y'all got married but not now? Was she whoring herself with the "payment" of marriage?

Tell her that you feel LOVE when she does her mouth hug but it would be okay with you if she wanted to feel like a whore in the bedroom. After all the perfect woman is said to be a lady in the parlor, and a whore in bedroom.

In any case, you want to work this out. It's important to you that she not hurt herself while doing it but oral is also important to you both giving and receiving. There are different positions you can try to find one that won't hurt her jaw.

Her "advanced advertising" lead you to think your married sex life would have this sort of love in it and you are not willing to settle for missionary sex and oral twice a year. You think she looks like an angel when she is open for your oral attentions or giving you yours.

However, you are prepared to go to a real whore if she can't bring herself to love her husband or accept her husband's love in these ways.

In that case she is NO LONGER ALLOWED to suck you off or receive oral sex. When you find a whore who will, you will be sure to not make the mistake of buying her and bringing her home because that was clearly a mistake in her case.

God I'm such a bitch.

LOL.

Fury

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Okay I'm feeling bitchy tonight so here is a new tact. Warning: Doing this could get your ass in some serious trouble.

Ask your lady this, did she feel like a whore when she did oral before you were married? Just why did she do oral more often before y'all got married but not now? Was she whoring herself with the "payment" of marriage?

Tell her that you feel LOVE when she does her mouth hug but it would be okay with you if she wanted to feel like a whore in the bedroom. After all the perfect woman is said to be a lady in the parlor, and a whore in bedroom.

In any case, you want to work this out. It's important to you that she not hurt herself while doing it but oral is also important to you both giving and receiving. There are different positions you can try to find one that won't hurt her jaw.

Her "advanced advertising" lead you to think your married sex life would have this sort of love in it and you are not willing to settle for missionary sex and oral twice a year. You think she looks like an angel when she is open for your oral attentions or giving you yours.

However, you are prepared to go to a real whore if she can't bring herself to love her husband or accept her husband's love in these ways.

In that case she is NO LONGER ALLOWED to suck you off or receive oral sex. When you find a whore who will, you will be sure to not make the mistake of buying her and bringing her home because that was clearly a mistake in her case.

God I'm such a bitch.

LOL.

Fury

yikes! LOL...she could very well have some deep seeded reasons for not wanting to do this. to me, it sounds like it considering in one post he said she will turn over and 'make him 'disappear' i think there needs to be more talking than just about oral sex, it sounds like there is something more deep down, and bullying her into it is not the way to get it out of her..but fury..LOL..i liked your idea i think that would make me just walk away though..or smack the crap outta him.....and then walk away

 

[FurryFury]

yikes! LOL...she could very well have some deep seeded reasons for not wanting to do this. to me, it sounds like it considering in one post he said she will turn over and 'make him 'disappear' i think there needs to be more talking than just about oral sex, it sounds like there is something more deep down, and bullying her into it is not the way to get it out of her..but fury..LOL..i liked your idea i think that would make me just walk away though..or smack the crap outta him.....and then walk away

The made me write it!

LOL!

I do agree there needs to be a LOT more discussion and empathy for and from both of them.

Fury

 

[eyeretinaeye]

oral

My wife never did like going down on me, she said I was to big and that she can't get her breath. I know she has a very small mouth and that the girth on my gland is quite large. So I just lived with that maybe that was not for me but when she told me when I go down on her that it makes her breakout that I felt really rejected. I had been with other women, they never told me that nor did they ever complain about going down on me. I know that everyone is different and that there is more to love and marriage then oral sex but I surely miss this part of my marriage.

 

[wickedlady31]

....

This can only be resolved through communication!
Some people enjoy oral..others do not. Some women don't like receiving either...self conscious about it all.....

 

[Dickkramer]

Update!

Me and my wife are getting a divorse. I found out a guy she had been talking to online convinced her I was no good and helped point out all my bad habits.

She tells me she is just not happy, but wants to tryin work it out.

I say "Fine lets work it out cause I don't wanna lose you, all I ask is that you stop talking to that guy for me."

Her response: "I wont...can't do that."

I told her if she wouldn't I'd ask him to stop, I did he wont so we are divorsing.

I'm so angry I can't put my rage into words. If I could I'd kill him but I can't.

I feel like I was sent to a gun shootout with no gun.

I feel like all the people that have been trying to help me have disappreaed!

I'm angry and depressed and I hate right now! HATE!!!

 

[SweetErika]

Me and my wife are getting a divorse. I found out a guy she had been talking to online convinced her I was no good and helped point out all my bad habits.

She tells me she is just not happy, but wants to tryin work it out.

I say "Fine lets work it out cause I don't wanna lose you, all I ask is that you stop talking to that guy for me."

Her response: "I wont...can't do that."

I told her if she wouldn't I'd ask him to stop, I did he wont so we are divorsing.

I'm so angry I can't put my rage into words. If I could I'd kill him but I can't.

I feel like I was sent to a gun shootout with no gun.

I feel like all the people that have been trying to help me have disappreaed!

I'm angry and depressed and I hate right now! HATE!!!

Wow.

I'm sorry you're hurting and your wife was dishonest with you until now.

Aside from true brainwashing (and even then, the seeds are there), people can't be convinced of things they don't believe or want to do. If I'm happy with my partner, no amount of telling me negatives or love for another could convince me I was unhappy or wanted to leave them.

It sucks royally, and you're going to need a lot of support to get through this, but please try to look for the positives (I'm sure one is that you'll have the chance to find someone who will treat you well and is more sexually compatible ) and don't do anyting rash like hurt someone. You'll get through this and be a stronger, happier person for it - make that your focus, and you'll be fine.

 

[4236CXT]

she's right. he didnt say anything she didnt want to hear. sucks buddy but you've learned and there are plenty of better fish out there. just dont dwell on it too long. that doesnt do anybody any good.

 

[M's girl]

she's right. he didnt say anything she didnt want to hear. sucks buddy but you've learned and there are plenty of better fish out there. just dont dwell on it too long. that doesnt do anybody any good.

The "easy" way out? We are talking about a marriage here, you know?! Not some 5-month-what-a-pity-it-did-not-work-out relationship! Djeeeez!

I'm still not convinced of Mr Kramers all-good-intentions, I must confess, and maybe she does have a valid reason to call it quits. It's never a good thing, though, if you have the other one believe someone else is responsible for your decision to leave the marriage. Could be she does not give a damn at this moment. Could be she is just very confused and does not know what SHE wants anymore.

Which ever way you turn it, a situation like this sucks. So he vented his (probably) first reaction to all this here. It's time to start evaluating the recent events while thinking clearly and talk to her about all this. I can see the reason (now) why she was not into oral too much anymore. To most women oral is just so intimate; much more than PIV sex. And obviously her mind was somewhere else entirely.

It's wrong. But obviously there was a huge gap in the communication in this relationship. Remember, talking to each other is only considered to be communication if the other one listens to what's being said and validates/registers those words in some way.

 

[Dickkramer]

I"m living in my own hell, feeling the pain of a thousand knives in my back.

I'm drowning myself in my music, not able to look at her...or anyone else.

I see my own failure within peoples eyes, they look down on me though I've commited the ultimate sin.

I'm lost within my mind, trying to find my way.


My hate and anger has subsided, I know I'll move on, leaving peices of me behind...once more my hate will revert to neutral.

I'm so numb!

 

[M's girl]

..... She tells me she is just not happy, but wants to tryin work it out.

I say "Fine lets work it out cause I don't wanna lose you, all I ask is that you stop talking to that guy for me."

Her response: "I wont...can't do that."

I told her if she wouldn't I'd ask him to stop, I did he wont so we are divorsing.

What were you thinking asking HIM? She said she wanted to work things out which at least means she wanted to talk possibilities. However wrong it was of her to turn to the other guy while she should have talked to you... she did. She probably thought at the time it was a good and valid idea.

The other guy has his own agenda. You may not like it but did you think for one second your request would make an impression on him? Why should it? He wants her (at this moment - who knows if she's the only one and if she is still as attractive to him when she is REALLY available?) and you ask HIM to leave her alone? He knows as well as you do that your wife is the only one who can make that decision. It also only matters if she is the one to stop talking to this guy. She has her own reasons why she wants to continue and it's up to you to find out what those reasons are. That is.... if you are still interested in saving your marriage.

Instead you ask her one time and she says no. Hell, if she has felt neglected for a long time she has finally found someone who listens and makes her feel wanted again. She doesn't want to quit that overnight! She also probably wants to show you what it feels like to hurt. So her first answer is no, and what do you do? You turn to him.

You ask him and he says no too (surprise ) and you just quit right there?

If you feel sorry you need to tell her. Whatever it is you are sorry about. She needs to hear that... a lot! And it will take time. A long time for her to believe you probably. But if you still want her your only option is to do this her way, if she is still willing to talk and try.

If you are not sorry, then be happy (as Erika said) and move on. Your last post tells me that you are sorry, however, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something major to get your marriage back!

 

[SweetErika]

And, who knows, maybe they could work it out and be happy even if she talks to this other guy. Perhaps he meets some need the DK can't/won't, and this could be a solution for that. It could only work though if you both agree to do it with complete openness and honesty from this point forward.

In all likelihood, her 'net romance won't pan out in the end.

If you both agree your problems can't be worked out, go for the divorce. If there's a chance you can both give it a shot, look for other solutions right now.