Master Control
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2002
- Posts
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Breaking News: In a dramatic turn of events, the President of the United States of America has transformed into Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. Optimus has just asked OrbyOnline to cover a special question and answer session to help America and the world understand what exactly is going on with Iraq.
Optimus Prime: Thank you for joining me today gentleman. First of all, I'd like to assure you that the Autobots will stand toe to toe with the citizens of the world to rid Iraq of the evil dictator Saddam Hussein.
CNN: Are the Deceptacons or, more importantly their leader Megatron, involved with Saddam's regime?
Optimus Prime: We can't say for sure right now, but all intelligence is pointing in the no direction.
CNN: That's good news at least. How will the Autobots be involved in Operation: Iraqi Freedom?
Optimus Prime: A small number of Autobots will be involved in Special-Ops missions throughout Iraq. The names and locations of these elite warriors will not be released at this time.
CNN: For what reason did the Autobots become involved in this conflict?
Optimus Prime: We have been in discussion with the American government since World War II. It is a little known fact that we were instrumental in the Normandy invasion. We are involved in Operation: Iraqi Freedom because we Autobots are the good guys and don't like it when people are oppressed.
CNN: I'm sure you're on a very busy schedule right now, but can you elaborate on what your plans are for the war?
Optimus Prime: At this point we're trying to remove Saddam from power with as little inconvenience to the Iraqi people as possible. If you've been watching the news, you will have noticed by now that we have not destroyed any of the infrastructure, like power plants or water stations, in any civilian zones. To improve Iraqi moral I may transform back and forth between a semi-truck and this current human-like form. This is purely a shits-and-giggles type deal.
CNN: What are your plans as far as winning the "Hearts and Minds" of the citizens of the world, including the fucking French?
Optimus Prime: We believe the people of the world will notice the great lengths that we're going to so that we harm as few Iraqi citizens as possible. And for the French, the last time they held guns was when they were holding them up in the air to surrender to the Germans, so we never planned on much support from them. The French are actually known throughout the universe as cowards and assfucks.
CNN: Thank you for your time, Optimus Prime. (editor's note: that rhymes!)
Optimus Prime: Thank you for fighting the good fight, and for hating the French.
to you!
