Opposite Sex First Person

[togitc]

I rarely have female lead characters. I don't know how to write them correctly and I am kind of afraid to give it a shot. So to address that lacking quality in my writing I have decided to try and write a story with not only a female lead but in the first person.

Now comes the part where I need help. How do I write a convincing female?

The easy way out would be to make it pure stroke, but I'm not going to let that happen. I want this to be believable and a character people can read without rolling their eyes and going to something else.

Help, please.

 

[bisexplicit]

So, what specifically do you need help on?

 

[togitc]

Basically, I want the character to be believable.

Are there any dos/don'ts for writing the opposite sex? From some of the stories I have read with female leads written by females, there isn't much difference. I just don't want this to turn out to be some horrid creation that is 2D and completely false.

I need to make her real. Does that help?

 

[3113]

Men vs. Women pt. 1

Dude! I feel your pain. I screw up writing guys that aren't "guy" enough--but that allows me to help you a little.

Warning: the items below are gross generalizations and do not apply to every woman. Remember, we are all individuals. Feel free to disagree with any of these points and make corrections, addendums, etc.

1) how the sexes act when going through puberty. At age 9-14 or so, little girls will fall for *non-threatening* males. Cute guys in boy bands who look like BOYS not men. They will scream and swoon over these guys. They will talk for HOURS on the phone about them. They DO NOT want to have sex with them. Sex is scary. Now this doesn't mean that they aren't *experiencing* sexual feelings, out of control hormones. They are. That's why they feel flush, why they can't stop crying, why they get almost hysterical over such boys. But they don't interpet it as "I need to be fucked." Romance is what they're after. Not the loss of virginity.

Boys, as you well know, hit puberty and want a *WOMAN*. Breasts! Vulva! They envision a woman coming to them and saying, "Let's have sex" not "let me romance you." Sex, sex, sex. Because that first time is going to be good for them, especially if the woman is a woman.

Now in adulthood, a lot of this remains the same. Remember that a woman will hit her sexual peak at around 30. Men hit it in their college years. This is why romantic comedies are popular with teen and college age girls, why all those girls went to see the movie *Titanic*.

Guys...want the sex. This is why raunchy comedies where big breasted woman getting naked in hot tubs attract guys (example: *American Pie*).

2) Guys masterbate a lot more than girls do. You touch yourself daily. Some girls don't even know HOW to masterbate. Why?....

3) Remember. You've got a toy. You can write your name in the snow. You can piss on another guy to show dominance. You know that toy intimately--and you fear for it, your most precious jewels. When its erect, you feel powerful. When it's shrunken, you feel small.

Boys are into pecking orders. Who's Alpha male. Who's the leader. Who orders who around. The top guy is one who can have others "suck his dick." And you get angry at guys who "bust your balls." Competition baby. Sports.

If a girl wants to see what she's got...she's got to look in the mirror. We might fondle our breasts, and worry about whether we're too developed or underdeveloped. We might get sensual pleasure in stroking our tits--and get wet--but it's not the same as you stroking that penis.

Oh, here's a quick clue...all those stories with the 38DD breasts...Breasts that size are a pain. Any bigger and you're going to get back trouble. During your period, they swell and get really tender. Underwire bras are a must and finding a clothes that fit are a bitch.

Girls like to be in groups. They like to delegate authority--share power (not all girls, but most). Shopping, buying things, having lunch--that's how they socialize. And talk. Girls bond by sharing gossip and secrets.

It's that old joke about girls going to the bathroom together--boys don't. You guys have that rule, remember, no talking at the urnial. Girls talk while sitting in the stalls.

That's pt. 1--is this the sort of stuff you're looking for?

 

[3113]

Man vs. Woman pt. 2

Okay, so here's some more points of gross, generalized differences:

4) Getting back to that macho feeling of the penis...that's your sex organ. Doesn't mean you can't gasp with pleasure if your nipples are pinched, or moan if stroked and licked. But guys (BIG generalization here) have thicker skins. When that penis gets erect, all the sex is right down there. Penis and Prostate.

Women can be sensitive all over. They might not be, but they can be. A feather stroke is a sensual delight. The breasts, the arms, the back, the ass, the thighs. You can touch or kiss just about anything and get a shiver.

5) Slippery when wet. A man's precum might make his penis shiny, but a woman gets wet. Some women get very wet...which I assume you know if you've ever been asked to sleep in the wet spot.

6) Hormones. Guys have hormonal fluxuations as much as women--but it's Testosterone vs. Estrogen. Do a google on what steroids (testosterone injections will do to a guy) and you get an idea of what testosterone is all about. It makes you angry and aggressive and strong.

Estrogen makes us women empathetic and weepy. Which is why we love those romances and hankie movies. True story: my doctor put me on some mild birth control pills. One evening, my husband started to kiss me quite tenderly. I burst into tears. My poor husband was aghast. What had he done to make me cry so? He was just kissing me! Now here's the thing: I *knew* there was no logical reason at all for me to be crying. But I still couldn't stop.

Women are emotional. Not only because of hormones, however. We're allowed to be emotional. You guys have to "take it like a man!"--no crying, no whining. We women can weep. We can cry out in pain. We can complain. Men won't respect us for it--but we can do it.

7) The magic button. Anatomically, the clit is just a tiny penis. Or penis tip if you will. Multiple orgasms dude. And we feel dreamy and cuddly afterwards.

You might want to watch "When Harry Met Sally" by the way. Fun little movie that discusses male/female differences and relationships.

Any of this help? Is it what you're looking for? Do these help you come up with questions to ask?

 

[bisexplicit]

Wow, uh, talk about false generalizations.

 

[togitc]

3113,
Thanks, I'll take that into account.

Bi,
How so?

 

[3113]

Wow, uh, talk about false generalizations.

That's pretty harsh. I said that they were generalizations--and I said they were gross generalizations. But false? Are you saying women don't have sensitive skin? That they don't like romance movies? Why did "Titanic" make so much money from repeat female viewers then? Why do 9-14 girls always fall for those boy bands--every decade there's a new one.

I'm sorry, but I can't see that these are "False."

Generalizations, yes, absotlutely. I make no bones about that, and your milage may vary.

True for you...maybe not at all. But "false"?

 

[bisexplicit]

Well, the fact that you think women tend not to masturbate as much as men is something I would like to see backed up by some evidence. Because, all evidence I've heard on the subject, is that women do usually engage in self pleasure.

Also, women do very much establish pecking orders. Its not determined by physical dominance, which can be the case for men - but they most certainly do. Read a sociology text book about it.

And estrogen causes you to like romantic movies? I would love to see where you got that information from.



And perhaps I'm being rather harsh, its just things like this piss me off. There aren't really such hard and fast rules about genders - and most of them are due to social norms. I hate this boxing in and confining of how people are supposed to be - and its even worse when its not accurate.

 

[silverwhisper]

togit: do you have many female friends IRL? you might do well to try getting their input. if you're embarrassed about the subject matter, give them an innocuous excerpt.

if you're really interested, i'd suggest reading more stuff by female litsters. bi's stuff is a good place to start, IMHO. i'd also recommend anything from collen thomas, also one of my favorites.

ed

 

[bisexplicit]

togit: do you have many female friends IRL? you might do well to try getting their input. if you're embarrassed about the subject matter, give them an innocuous excerpt.

if you're really interested, i'd suggest reading more stuff by female litsters. bi's stuff is a good place to start, IMHO. i'd also recommend anything from collen thomas, also one of my favorites.

ed

Although, if he read stuff I wrote - it would be from my bitchy perspective. hehe.




Meh, actually, 3113, I just started bleeding from my vagina, today. I really probably have been harsher than I should be. I just have a differing opinion is all.

 

[silverwhisper]

bi: gee, thanks for keeping all & sundry apprised of your cycle status. what's next, tampon preference polls?

ed

 

[bisexplicit]

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=392103

I have no shame. Natural and all.

My favorite thing to do when I was like 15 was to talk to boys about my period. Freaking hilarious. Made them all uncomfortable and stuff.

 

[silverwhisper]

but i still see no poll, sis. get cracking, missy!

[tousles bi's hair]

[pokes her in the tummy to see if she makes funny noises]

ed

 

[bisexplicit]

I've never made a poll before.

*giggles and squeaks* You know I squeak already, why do you keep doing it!

 

[silverwhisper]

cuz it's muy funny!

[does it again]

[steals her nose and runs off to the HT cafe]



ed

 

[bisexplicit]

Hey! Give that back!

*runs after you*

 

[3113]

Well, the fact that you think women tend not to masturbate as much as men...

Also, women do very much establish pecking orders. Its not determined by physical dominance, which can be the case for men - but they most certainly do. Read a sociology text book about it.

And estrogen causes you to like romantic movies? I would love to see where you got that information from.

Okay. Fair enough. I figured from your tone that I'd hit one or more buttons and I apologize for that. I was hoping it was just a couple of misspoken things; I had this nightmare of having to re-find all the info I garnered these generalizations from, including primate behavior, testosterone levels in the womb and male-female child development...yadda, yadda, yadda.

*Masterbation: Women *DO* self pleasure, of course. What I was discussing was frequency and commonality of self pleasure especially in younger girls. I may have been invited to the wrong slumber parties when I was a girl...but I don't ever remember us having a circle jerk.

Boys masterbate a lot simply because the toy is out there. Girls, sociologically or otherwise, are less likely to be open or frequent when it comes to self pleasure. One website points out:

"It is not unusual for a woman or teenager to complain that when she caresses her vulva and clitoris that she does not experience sexual pleasure, perhaps feeling nothing at all."

*Pecking order: I was thinking more about this:

"Equality. Women generally tend to emphasize the value of equality when they communicate with coworkers and those they supervise. The value of the relationship is generally more important than who is in charge of the other person. Women tend to emphasize this relationship style of equality and stability whether they are talking to men or women. Men, on the other hand, tend to emphasize the "pecking order" in a relationship. Men want to know if the relationship is equal (friendship), conflicting (wrestler), or superior/subordinated (coach). In addition to wanting to know the "pecking order" of the relationship, men want to determine the "pecking order" first before any effective problem solving work begins."

From this website: http://www.amsc.belvoir.army.mil/ec...nications student project/03-3/diffincomm.htm

If you have contrary and more current evidence then I'd be happy to alter my assumption there.

*Estrogen & Romantic movies. You're quite right. It has nothing to do with estrogen. It has to do with a different chemical: oxytocin

"Female hormones make the woman's brain better wired for Iong-term romantic activity than the man's. Nowhere do we see this more clearly than in oxytocin activity in the hypothalamus. Male oxytocin (bonding chemical) levels are lower than in females. In many men, they can be ten times lower. Just as testosterone levels are much higher in males, oxytocin levels are generally higher in females.

However, there is one time of the day when the male oxytocin levels approach the normal female levels - during sexual orgasm. When a man ejaculates, his oxytocin level shoots up to the levels that females experience during other times of the day. When a man ejaculates, he bonds utterly with her.

Soon his oxytocin level will go back down to its normal level, and when the woman does not receive a phone call from him the next day - despite the fact that he said he loved her and would call her - she is experiencing his postsexual drop in oxytocin....In male biochemistry, sex is the quickest way for a man to bond with a woman. Even though the chemical bond is transitory....Nature has given females a different way of approaching sex and bonding. Where the young man might feel completed at the point of climax - utterly bonded for the moment - the young woman feels that bonding is a process that has only just begun. For him, chemical bonding will be paramount during the sex act; for her, bonding will go on at a biochemical level throughout the days of courtship and during her preparation for romantic evenings....her oxytocin levels are so much higher....She will not tend to emphasize sex as the ultimate activity; it is only a momentary surge in oxytocin. She will emphasize the hundreds of activities, thoughts, phone calls, gifts, candles, feelings that accentuate, every moment of every day, her developing bond with the male."

For the rest of the info on male/female chemistry:
http://www.healthandage.com/default...3004;2;haa_online_from;2;1;3;-;dsp_tooldetail

Does any of this get me off the hook or do I need to hang here a little longer

 

[togitc]

togit: do you have many female friends IRL? you might do well to try getting their input. if you're embarrassed about the subject matter, give them an innocuous excerpt.

if you're really interested, i'd suggest reading more stuff by female litsters. bi's stuff is a good place to start, IMHO. i'd also recommend anything from collen thomas, also one of my favorites.

ed

I have 2 female friends I would feel comfortable sharing this with. My wife, whom I don't think would get it, and her best friend who is so depraved of sex she might get a kick out of it or think I am coming on to her. Either way the project is still in the works, so it might all be for naught.