Opinions...

[cookiejar]

Does this sentence sound ridiculous or is it just me? The "had done" sounds wrong...


"The first thing she had done was to put up sheers at the windows and bring her own furniture in."


Any suggestions? I know this is trivial but it is really bothering me.

Thanks

 

[Weird Harold]

"The first thing she had done was to put up sheers at the windows and bring her own furniture in."

"The first thing she did was to put up sheers at the windows and bring her own furniture in."

A simple past tense sounds better to me, but it depends on the context. The original sentence is gramatically correct but it reads a bit awkwardly when taken out of context -- presumably the context provides some of the missing information, like the first thing she had done "after what?" Signing the lease? Inheriting the old house? moving in with her boyfriend?

 

[Just_John1]

Does this sentence sound ridiculous or is it just me? The "had done" sounds wrong...


"The first thing she had done was to put up sheers at the windows and bring her own furniture in."


Any suggestions? I know this is trivial but it is really bothering me.

Thanks

as presented out of context, the way I'd read that sentence was that she had someone do it for her. If the context is a past tense of something she "had done" a little wordsmithing would work... such as

"Her first completed chore was to put up shears and to bring in her furniture..." or you could use the sentence as a transition...

"After getting her shears up and her furniture in she..."

If its important to keep the structure I would do one of the two following...

"The first thing she had done was to put up sheers at the windows and to bring her own furniture in."

or

"The first thing she did was put up sheers at the windows and bring her own furniture in."

Like the proverbial phrase... they're like assholes... everyone's got one... opinions I mean

JJ1

 

[cookiejar]

Sheesh do I feel dumb...I couldn't see the woods for the trees. Thanks guys...

 

[oggbashan]

I see the problem as the contradiction between "The first thing" and then she has two actions.

I'd split the sentence in two.

"The first thing she had done was to put up sheers at the windows. Then she brought her own furniture in."

Og

 

[cookiejar]

I see the problem as the contradiction between "The first thing" and then she has two actions.

I'd split the sentence in two.

"The first thing she had done was to put up sheers at the windows. Then she brought her own furniture in."

Og

Ty ogg...I got stuck and just went in circles. I really like that idea...I am feeling dumber by the minute...

 

[Quasimodem]

"The first thing she had done was to put up sheers at the windows and bring her own furniture in."

I know! Everybody must piddle in your pot, to make it their flavour.

What is jarring to me, is the singular opening phrase followed by two co-ordinate phrases. Separating them, by breaking them into two jerky sentences doesn’t help

"The first things she had done were to put up sheers at the windows, then bring in her own furniture."

Possibly, it could be better balanced:

"The first things she did were to put up sheers at the windows, then to bring in her own furniture."

Breaking it up, however does improve it so:

"The first thing she did was to put up sheers at the windows. Next, she brought in her own furniture."

Better still, recast her actions into action verbs.

First, she hung the sheers at the windows, then she carried in her own furniture.

The “at the windows” phrase might be considered redundant. Where else would she hang sheers?

First, she hung the sheers, then she carried in her own furniture.

Much depends upon your import, and the surrounding style of writing.

 

[Icingsugar]

"The first thing she had done was to put up sheers at the windows and bring her own furniture in."

Maybe it's me and my Emglish, but am I the only one who read that sentence as things she would had done?

My 'correction' to the sentence would then be something like this:

"The first thing she had done would had been to put up sheers at the windows and to bring her own furniture in."

But I think that sentence still miss a 'd, right?

/Ice, vocal but uneducated

 

[cookiejar]

I put the sentence in the context of the story and it flows much better now...Thanks Quasi and Sugar


Everyone has been a big help...I don't know where my brain was, I guess on vacation.

 

[gauchecritic]

"The first thing she had done was to put up sheers at the windows and bring her own furniture in."

Any suggestions? I know this is trivial but it is really bothering me.

Thanks

If it's past tense then it just needs a simple contraction

"The first thing she'd done was to put up sheers...etc"

Gauche

 

[The_Fool]

Just wanted to be an asshole and continue the thread after you received so many admirable replies. My first thought was to substitute accomplished for "had done."

 

[Guest]

Third thing

 

[cookiejar]

Ty Gauche...at this point I feel very young and gauche.

The_Fool...Lol...great idea. Thanks. See how easy it can be?

Lime...I can obsess over what color panties to wear each day. One sentence for me is mild. Thank you.


Cookie

 

[Icingsugar]

Lime...I can obsess over what color panties to wear each day. One sentence for me is mild. Thank you.

Did you have to way that? Now you have us all obsessing over that too. Which color you're wearing, that is.

bleep!
/Ice

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Going commando eliminates that particular problem...

 

[The_Fool]

Going commando eliminates that particular problem...

I like that thought....

 

[cookiejar]

Going commando eliminates that particular problem...

I had refrained from saying that but it has possibilities...

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

Right. It's grammatical, but doesn't sound too pleasant.
|
Context is everything, but -- without it -- I'd suggest:
First, she'd hung up the sheers. Then, she'd moved in her
own furniture.
|
I know I'm a fussbudget, but I don't think she did the two
tasks simultaneously. If not, then she couldn't have
done them both first.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

uh...what're "sheers"?

 

[ffreak]

Curtains with sudden drop-offs.

You can see through them if there's light on the other side - you know, like when a pretty woman is undressing in her bedroom and you just happen to be frozen in place, watching her reveal her body as she strips-down while she thinks no one can see in because she can't see out. Sheer serendipity.

-FF (I would never do anything like that)

 

[Guest]

... while she thinks no one can see in because she can't see out.

Aw, Eff. Still don't get us, do you?

sigh, Perdita

 

[ffreak]

Don't you remember that Bugblatter Beast - they're all male. If we close our eyes, you can't see us, right?

-FF (blinking rapidly - so how did she know I would be there, just because I take my walk the same time each night?)

 

[MathGirl]

uh...what're "sheers"?

Dear QC,
Perhaps I can help, here. Sheers are (a) steep mountain cliffs with a long drop, and (b) big scissor thingies for neatening up bushes in the yard. I hope you have found this information helpful.
Pedantically,
MG
Ps. Sheers are also used in the sheep industry, but I didn't mention it because this is a nonsexual thread.

 

[ffreak]

This is a nonsexual thread?!

No wonder I'm not getting any action.

-FF (looking for directions - I wonder if there are any nice people out there willing to tell me where to go)

 

[Quasimodem]

This is a nonsexual thread?!

Sure, ffreak.

If you are insensible, every thread is a nonsense thread.