Open letter to world: Christmas is cancelled this year

[Santa__Claus]

On the advice of the North Pole legal team, I have made the regrettable decision that I am not able to fulfill my annual duties to fly around the world and deliver toys to all the good little boys and girls this year.

I have been informed by my legal staff that there is the possibility of charges being brought against me for criminal trespass and illegal dumping if I were to continue to fulfill my duties.

While this possibility has always been present, and whilst I have not been notified of any jurisdiction(s) which may begin to enforce these charges against me, I have decided that I no longer want to take the risk of spending the remaining years I have left with Mrs. Claus by going to jail.

I am truly sorry for any pain this may cause to my devoted fans and those expecting a present this year.

Sincerely yours,
Santa Claus

 

[theEasterBunny]

Lol, what a POS. You suck old man. Go retire and crwal in a hole and die. You're a fucking poser who shold have disappeared centuries ago. That's why kids all hate you when they turn 7 and realize that you've LIED to them.

 

[Iceprincess12]

Guess I can be bad this year.