OOC & Casting Call: St. Mayhem

[Maid of Marvels]

Welcome to St. Mayhem, a rather large hospital nestled unobtrusively in one of the busiest cities in Somewhereville, USA. (Think every medical show (good and bad) you've ever seen, mix in all of the soap operas and throw in healthy doses of humor and pathos...)

St. Mayhem has recently been purchased by a huge (but not profitable) conglomerate and are seeking to restaff. The pay is minimal so lets just say beggars can't be choosers. They'll take just about anyone.

We'll be needing a hospital administrator, doctors, nurses, a receptionist, the house shrink (yup there's a vroom room), lab techs (can anyone say vampire?), kitchen help, janitors... and PATIENTS. (We hear they're dying to get in.)

Perhaps some characters from other threads around the boards could come in for "treatments" after falling victim to some mishap or illness. (ie: Spidey starts to lose his sight from playing with his web shooter a little too often. )

Come in for the whole trip or just a little overhaul. Any and all players are welcome.

Present your resumes here:

 

[Maid of Marvels]

MY RESUME by Penny Louffer

OBJECTIVE
Yes, I'm very open minded.

THEORETICAL ORIENTATION
11th Grade: "The Wizard of Oz" (Scarecrow - I can still remember all the words to 'If I Only Had a Brain'.)

12th Grade: "A Midsummer Night's Dream" (The Wall - They wanted me to just play the 'hole' but I couldn't find my motivation.)

EDUCATION AND CREDENTIALS
I finally graduated last year!! I only stayed back three times in High School. The Principal, Mrs. Teasdale, actually had tears in her eyes.

Umm... I don't have any credentials. Visa said I needed a job to get one

EMPLOYMENT
Well, I used to take care of my neighbor's pets when they went away for the weekend, but one time the dog was chasing the hamster and they knocked the fishbowl over. It took me over an hour to find Goldie. She didn't make it, but I didn't want them to know so I duct taped her to a straw and pushed the straw in the gravel so it would look like she was swimming. I still don't know how they figured it out. I had to find a new job.

I used to babysit for Mrs. Peterson's little boy, Joe. She got mad at me. I only wanted to see if someone could really get their tongue stuck to something frozen like in that movie? You know the one. "A Christmas Story". (By the way, it DOES work.)

PUBLICATIONS
I like Cosmo a lot. I read a book once. It was "The Illustrated Classic Little Women".

PRESENTATIONS
Mostly Christmas and my birthday, but I LOVE presents.

SCOPE OF PRACTICE
No. I actually prefer Lavoris.

POSITION DESIRED
Oooh... From the rear, please.

AVAILABILITY
No. I'm not dating anyone right now. Why?

P.S. Hey, this was pretty easy. Do I get the job?

 

[Graybread]

Resume for:
Dr. Ben Dover, Proctologist

Objective;
To examine the rectum of every patient in the hospital.

Education;
Phoenix online. Course of study, analology, by Professor Seymour Butts

Employment;
Six months at the National Scat Foundation. Let go because I refused to refrigerate my specimens.

Publications;
How to do a rectal self-examination with a mirror and flashlight.

Presentations;
I tried to present it several times, but people keep leaving the room.

Scope of Practice;
A Bendoverscope, my instrument covered with a Trojan and Astroglide.

Position Desired;
Oooh…from the rear, please.

Availability;
I’m sitting in my car in the parking lot.
The one that needs a tailpipe.

 

[PhoenixPrime01]

Resume for Peter Edward Richard Verrted, M.D., Ph.D.

Objective:
To cure all those who think that they are normal, for I know better.
Education:
Correspondence courses as well as the U.S. School of Medicine and Psychistry (I think that's how it's spelled anyway) in Haiti.
Experience:
Pavlov and deSade Institute for Hedonism, If It Feels Good Do It-Twice or More Times Clinic.
Publications:
I've read several, but prefer Penthouse Forum and Letters in Hustler.
Presentations:
If it's nice out... then leave it out, what else?
Scope of Practice:
I don't use scopes I'm a psycharist. Other doctors use 'em.
Position Desired:
Any, but the kinkier, the more perverted the better *leer & lewd wink & grin*
Availability
In the hall waiting to be shown to my office so I can check out the couch to see if it opens into a queen sized bed and if the closet has proper 'instruments' for me to use.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Gray and Phoenix -- I used to think you were both rock solid pillars of propriety and decorum. How wrong can one gal be??

All I have to say is... *wiping off my monitor*

You're Hired!

 

[Guest]

Fifi La Rue RN

Objective:
To make each patient – male and females - as comfortable as possible – no matter what it takes.
Education:
Highly sexed - erm - motivated
Experience:
Lots.
Publicans:
Love ‘em.
Presentations:
Starched white – very short – uniform, usually unbuttoned showing ample breasts and bottomless cleavage. Little, pert cap.
Scope of Practice:
Isn’t Scope a mouthwash? I have good oral hygiene I floss after every blow-job..
Position Desired:
Head Nurse – as in “giving head”.
Availability:
Any time – any place.
__________________

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Tristesse, I am shocked. Plain shocked! (Do you wear kneepads?)

Welcome.

 

[PhoenixPrime01]

LOL* We are, we are MM. It's everyone else that skews the how we're perceived curve unfairly.

Phew* At last another place that'll pay me to do what I do best in my own perverted and kinky fashion. Can't wait for the first patient's arrival.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Looks like folks might be thinking that the cure is worse than the disease? Why is that?

(I get plenty of offers to take my temperature OUTSIDE the thread. )

If you're not brave enough to post a character here, PM or IM me? Maybe I can help?