OOC and Casting Call for: St. Mayhem

[Maid of Marvels]

Welcome to St. Mayhem, a rather large hospital nestled unobtrusively in one of the busiest cities in Somewhereville, USA. (Think every medical show (good and bad) you've ever seen, mix in all of the soap operas and throw in healthy doses of humor and pathos...)

St. Mayhem has recently been purchased by a huge (but not profitable) conglomerate and are seeking to restaff. The pay is minimal so lets just say beggars can't be choosers. They'll take just about anyone.

We'll be needing a hospital administrator, doctors, nurses, a receptionist, the house shrink (yup there's a vroom room), lab techs (can anyone say vampire?), kitchen help, janitors... and PATIENTS. (We hear they're dying to get in.)

Perhaps some characters from other threads around the boards could come in for "treatments" after falling victim to some mishap or illness. (ie: Spidey starts to lose his sight from playing with his web shooter a little too often. )

Come in for the whole trip or just a little overhaul. Any and all players are welcome.

Please present your resumes below:

 

[Maid of Marvels]

MY RESUME by Penny Louffer; RN, MSN, ICQ, AOL

OBJECTIVE
Yes, I'm very open minded.

THEORETICAL ORIENTATION
11th Grade: "The Wizard of Oz" (Scarecrow - I can still remember all the words to 'If I Only Had a Brain'.)

12th Grade: "A Midsummer Night's Dream" (The Wall - They wanted me to just play the 'hole' but I couldn't find my motivation.)

EDUCATION AND CREDENTIALS
I finally graduated last year!! I only stayed back three times in High School. The Principal, Mrs. Teasdale, actually had tears in her eyes.

Umm... I don't have any credentials. Visa said I needed a job to get one

EMPLOYMENT
Well, I used to take care of my neighbor's pets when they went away for the weekend, but one time the dog was chasing the hamster and they knocked the fishbowl over. It took me over an hour to find Goldie. She didn't make it, but I didn't want them to know so I duct taped her to a straw and pushed the straw in the gravel so it would look like she was swimming. I still don't know how they figured it out. I had to find a new job.

I used to babysit for Mrs. Peterson's little boy, Joe. She got mad at me. I only wanted to see if someone could really get their tongue stuck to something frozen like in that movie? You know the one. "A Christmas Story". (By the way, it DOES work.)

PUBLICATIONS
I like Cosmo a lot. I read a book once. It was "The Illustrated Classic Little Women".

PRESENTATIONS
Mostly Christmas and my birthday, but I LOVE presents.

SCOPE OF PRACTICE
No. I actually prefer Lavoris.

POSITION DESIRED
Oooh... From the rear, please.

AVAILABILITY
No. I'm not dating anyone right now. Why?

P.S. Hey, this was pretty easy. Do I get the job?

 

[bullshot]

OBJECTIVE

 

[bullshot]

Dear Penny

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Psychiatrist

Name:
Belinda Strangelove


Education:

Gamma Ray High School: graduated 13th out of 2400 students. (I’m still in litigation concerning the possibility the numbers were transposed)

Handover Easy College of the Physics: completed 2 years of a 4 year course (left when I predicted online education was the wave to the future)

Cheap Online Courses: graduated with honors in Magic 8 ball class, hand held origami answer triangle game class, reading playing cards class


Previous Employment:

Let Us Read Your Voice Industries: served as secretary but quickly rose up to the position of lead listener

Come and Lend Me Your Palm: local business that dealt in hand lotion and reading palms

Other related experiences:

I worked for several years reading the veins on my own arms, and learned that I would one day become a physic friend. I have often read and predicted rain, hail, sleet, tornado warning and/or watches along with hurricanes, using only the help of one look at the weather channel.

I once caught my brother cheating on his wife, and I predicted a divorce. I once saw my cat catch a bird and predicted it would eat it. I was once again right.


Hours and Rate of Pay:

I’m physic, I all ready know when you’ll need me and what you’ll be paying me.


Position:

6 degrees latitude/9 degrees longitude

 

[Clint Taurus]

Dr Clint Taurus sykiatrist


Objective
Would liked to have been a veterinarian or slaughterman because I don’t like people, But the pay is better In hospitals.
I am applying for the job of sykiatrist because I Want to treat nutters badly.




Qualifications
PhD gained from a Russian medical institute only 25 roubles.
Bronze medal, for swimming 1 length of pool with water wings.
Tea monitor of the west wing of Wormwood Scrubs Prison






Education
Kindergarten
Expelled from Primary skool.
Didn’t like skool never went back.





Relevant Experience
Pigeon fancier ,Yes I really do fancy pigeons (only female ones, I’m not gay)
sagger makers bottom knocker
Paper round










Other Experience
Anal sex once, but it hurt a bit.






references available upon request

 

[Clint Taurus]

ps If i cant be a sykiatrist a surgons position will do.
Ive got sharp knives.

 

[Blue Dolphin]

Michael Penketh
32 yr old hospital porter,
5 feet 10, brown hair and eyes, handsome as hell.

Michael wheels the patients around on trolleys and such.
But his real aim is to screw every female in the place, be they doctors or nurses.

 

[Joe Schmoe]

Dr. Lance Feelgood

OBJECTIVE
Doctor.
Mother always told my sisters to marry a rich doctor. I am no fool. Get a job that gives you cash and chicks!

THEORETICAL ORIENTATION
Many introspective mind-expanding conversations with the inner child before it was eaten by the hungry wolf that only howls when spoken to.

EDUCATION AND CREDENTIALS
High School, though no one on the staff can recall what I look like but my name is familiar.

Dependable
I am always late and always leaving early
Studious
I know every nurse's name AND phone number
Knows every drug by medical and street name
Inventive with medical devices
Eye for Detail
Will be the first to know if the seam on a stocking needs straightening
Thrifty
If there is a carpool lane in the nurse's lounge I will be driving in it.
Leader
Has hosted many private riske' soiree's and dungeon ditties
A People Person
Patients always comes first
Always gets in good with the nurses
Respected by Colleges because he is always there with a helping hand and more
Professional and Voluntary bedside manner



EMPLOYMENT
Self-employed during highschool
A supplier of pharmaceuticals and medicinal herbs, hash, opiates, mushrooms, peyote, mescaline etc

PUBLICATIONS
Playboy.
It is rumored there is a health section somewhere in it.

PRESENTATIONS
As often as possible

SCOPE OF PRACTICE
Has played doctor since a wee lad
Knows the female anatomy like he does the back of his hand
Has tried every drug once with drawn conclusions
An expert in the field of some of the female's reproductive system and other orifices

POSITION DESIRED
Assumethe
From the secret book of sexual and cosmic enlightenment
"Karma Sumatra; Infinite Pleasures in 4 Positions in only 638 Easy Steps"

AVAILABILITY
When there is an empty bed and blackouts
On Call, once I get the phone bill paid off and service reinstalled

 

[Maid of Marvels]

*coughs, sneezes, sniffles*​

Welcome to St. Mayhem Blue, Clint, Joe and Red.

Great start, we just need some patients and maybe a nurse or receptionist? What about those blue haired ladies who guard the entrance of every hospital as if their lives depend on it? Lots of ways to play... take a chance?

 

[FurryFury]

I LOVE a challenge.

Mrs. Masie May Jenkins is 67 a caucasian lady just out to do her part and have a damn reason to get up in the morning.

Gray hair with a slight blue sheen lacquered into a football helmet.

Cat's eye glasses either on nose or hanging from a string of dime store jewels around her neck and onto her bosom.

Cloudy green eyes

Red lip stick-ed slash of a mouth.

Wears sweat outfits painted and bejeweled in the latest fashion, a sweater, coat and white orthopedic shoes.

Husband died years ago and her kids have grown and scattered.

Except for her rheumatism she is actually in fine physical shape under the clothes if you could see below that many layers.

Most frequent saying. "Is it cold in here to you?"

----------------------

OBJECTIVE
To help out in my community and have something to do!

THEORETICAL ORIENTATION
Theorectical wha??? Theorectically I could kick a board up yore ass but I don't hold much with strange orientations and theories do you? (God, please forgive me for saying that there bad word, amen.)

EDUCATION AND CREDENTIALS
I graduated from high school, yes I did. Back then women were not really encouraged to go to college donja know? Naw, we were encouraged to be wives and mothers. Sometimes I think life was simpler back then. (No offense is intended if some career woman be reading this.)

EMPLOYMENT
I haven't worked outside the home unless you count the charity committees, church groups or mommies related volunteering I done.

PUBLICATIONS
Heck no! I don't have any! Now and then I do check out The Sun at the checkout counter whiles I wait for them folks with all the coupons and what not to git outta the way. That thing be fulla lies but they funny! I jus can't be wasting my pennies on that stuff.

PRESENTATIONS
Say what? I guess I haven't got any of that there now.

SCOPE OF PRACTICE
I ain't got nothing a practice now a days. I used to practice penmanship in school and whatnot. Later I practiced to be a good Christian woman. You know you ain't never done wit that. I suppose all that golf with Henry was practice but boy was it boring, he loved golf though my Henry.


POSITION DESIRED
I just want to be useful and give back to my community. Staying home gets pretty boring. I could file, answer phones or rock them little babies what don't have no one. Whatever needs doing ya know?


AVAILABILITY
My schedule is wide open unlessen my kids come to visit or my rheumatism acts up. It gets bad in rainy and cold weather in particular but I usually git out anyway, cause gitting out makes me feel like I'm doing something.

--------------------------

I've always wanted to do a thread with you Maid of Marvels, I hope you will accept the above character.

Fury

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Apologies...

I was offline a few days after I started this OOC and just let it sit when I returned.

Is anyone still interested?

 

[FurryFury]

Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!

Fury

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Welcome, Masie.

 

[FurryFury]

*adjusts thick glasses and grins as if she sees a pudding cup*

"Why thank ya! I can do jus bout any thang ya need doin', woulda look at them there poinsettia's? They need some water I tell ya! Damn fool "landscaping companies" don't know what they are doin' if I said it once I've said it a million times. Is it cold in here to you?"

*pulls sweater closer to her body*

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Cute AV Maid ~ I'm still interested when you're ready.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

*whispers and points* Your support hose are looking a bit saggy. I'm thinking about having a lingerie party in the future. Can we say garters?

You sexy thang!

A friend of mine used to be a babe magnet for all those blue-haired women in Florida. The loved him!! He'd do readings for them and they would want to adopt him.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Sorry, Belinda. We cross-posted. Welcome.

 

[FurryFury]

I used to have garters, but now they but off my circulation donja know?" *gives devilish smile* "Sometimes it's worth it though, I don't expect none to be looking at me like dat!"

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Lookin' for a few good men... Anyone?

Patients and others still needed before I start up the main thread.

 

[Blue Dolphin]

Lookin' for a few good men... Anyone?

Patients and others still needed before I start up the main thread.

I am still UP for it Mom

Blue

 

[Maid of Marvels]

*shudders*

How many times do I have to tell you to turn me upside down and call me "WoW"?

Welcome, Blue. (But you know you're going to pay for calling me mom. )

 

[Blue Dolphin]

How many times do I have to tell you to turn me upside down and call me "WoW"?

Welcome, Blue. (But you know you're going to pay for calling me mom. )

I called you Mom, an acronym for Maid Of Marvels.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Yes, Blue, but WoW is so much nicer.

Your Highness is equally suitable.

 

[Blue Dolphin]

Yes, Blue, but WoW is so much nicer.

Your Highness is equally suitable.

ROFL here