M
miles
Guest
"I can fix that hump" - Gene Wilder to Marty Feldman, Young
Frankenstein
Frankenstein
M
miles
Guest
Laurel
Excellent!
Excellent!
Dixon Carter Lee
Headliner
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- Nov 22, 1999
- Posts
- 48,682
"That's our Hitler!"
Zero Mostel, The Producers
Zero Mostel, The Producers
Dixon Carter Lee
Headliner
- Joined
- Nov 22, 1999
- Posts
- 48,682
*Takamata! Don't ask for his mercy. Takamata! Don't beg for his forgiveness. Let's face it, you can't Takamata anything!"
History of the World Part I
History of the World Part I
M
miles
Guest
Dixon Carter Lee
ROFLMAO&V!
My all-time favorite comedy scene is the collective looks of horror on the faces of the audience after the Springtime for Hitler production number.
ROFLMAO&V!
My all-time favorite comedy scene is the collective looks of horror on the faces of the audience after the Springtime for Hitler production number.
YoungGun69
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,465
HELMET (lifts up mask) Careful, you idiot. I said
across her nose, not up it.
GUNNER (lifts up eye guard) Sorry, sir. (he is
cross-eyed) Doing my best.
HELMET Who made that man a gunner?
MAJOR I did, sir. He's my cousin. (he is cross-eyed,
too)
HELMET Who is he?
SANDURZ He's an Asshole, sir.
HELMET I know that. What's his name?
SANDURZ That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major
Asshole.
HELMET And his cousin?
SANDURZ He's an Asshole, too, sir. Gunner's-mate,
1st Class, Philip Asshole.
HELMET How many Assholes we got on this ship,
anyhow?
All, but few, stand up.
ALL Yo!
HELMET I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes
across her nose, not up it.
GUNNER (lifts up eye guard) Sorry, sir. (he is
cross-eyed) Doing my best.
HELMET Who made that man a gunner?
MAJOR I did, sir. He's my cousin. (he is cross-eyed,
too)
HELMET Who is he?
SANDURZ He's an Asshole, sir.
HELMET I know that. What's his name?
SANDURZ That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major
Asshole.
HELMET And his cousin?
SANDURZ He's an Asshole, too, sir. Gunner's-mate,
1st Class, Philip Asshole.
HELMET How many Assholes we got on this ship,
anyhow?
All, but few, stand up.
ALL Yo!
HELMET I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes
M
miles
Guest
Can someone find the lyrics to Springtime for Hitler??????
...winter in Poland
and Fraaaance
...winter in Poland
and Fraaaance
Dixon Carter Lee
Headliner
- Joined
- Nov 22, 1999
- Posts
- 48,682
That's winter FOR Poland and France...
---------------------
"Springtime for Hitler"
from Mel Brooks' The Producers
Germany was having trouble, what a sad, sad story
Needed a new leader to restore its former glory
Where oh where was he? Where could that man be?
We looked around, and then we found, the man for you and me,
And now it's ...
Springtime for Hitler and Germany,
Deutschland is happy and gay.
We're marching to a faster pace,
Look out, here comes the master race.
Springtime for Hitler and Germany,
Winter for Poland and France.
Springtime for Hitler and Germany,
Come on, Germans, go into your dance ...
I was born in Dusseldorf, and that is why they call me Rolf.
Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi party.
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Goose-step's the new step today
Bombs falling from the skies again,
Deutschland is on the rise again
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
U-boats are sailing once more
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Means ... that ... soon we'll be going ...
We've got to be going ...
You know we'll be going to ... WAR!
---------------------
"Springtime for Hitler"
from Mel Brooks' The Producers
Germany was having trouble, what a sad, sad story
Needed a new leader to restore its former glory
Where oh where was he? Where could that man be?
We looked around, and then we found, the man for you and me,
And now it's ...
Springtime for Hitler and Germany,
Deutschland is happy and gay.
We're marching to a faster pace,
Look out, here comes the master race.
Springtime for Hitler and Germany,
Winter for Poland and France.
Springtime for Hitler and Germany,
Come on, Germans, go into your dance ...
I was born in Dusseldorf, and that is why they call me Rolf.
Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi party.
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Goose-step's the new step today
Bombs falling from the skies again,
Deutschland is on the rise again
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
U-boats are sailing once more
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Means ... that ... soon we'll be going ...
We've got to be going ...
You know we'll be going to ... WAR!
Shy Tall Guy
Literotica Guru
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- 5,735
It's Twue, It's Twue!
"Is it ahh twue what they say about you people being gifted?(unzip) Oh it's twue, its twue, it's twue!" - Lily Von Schtupp (Madeline Kahn), Blazing Saddles.
"So tell me, is everything about you oversized?........
Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, (cresendo) sweet mystery of life at last I found you!" - Madeline Kahn, Young Frankestein
"Is it ahh twue what they say about you people being gifted?(unzip) Oh it's twue, its twue, it's twue!" - Lily Von Schtupp (Madeline Kahn), Blazing Saddles.
"So tell me, is everything about you oversized?........
Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, (cresendo) sweet mystery of life at last I found you!" - Madeline Kahn, Young Frankestein
YoungGun69
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,465
From Spaceballs again
HELMET (mask down) Have you found them yet?
CORPORAL No, Lord Helmet. They're still not on the scanners.
HELMET Well, keep looking for them. (drinks coffee Through his mask)
SANDURZ Pardon me, sir. I have an idea. Corporal, get me the video cassette of Spaceballs-the Movie.
CORPORAL Yes, sir.
CORPORAL walks to a wall labeled,Mr. Rental The wall opens. He looks through the selections.
HELMET Colonel Sandurz, may I speak with you,please?
SANDURZ Yes, sir.
HELMET (lifts up mask) How could there be a cassette of Spaceballs-the Movie. We're still in the middle of making it.
SANDURZ That's true, sir, but there's been a new breakthrough in home-video marketing.
HELMET There has?
SANDURZ Yes. Instant cassettes. They're out in stores before the movie is finished.
HELMET Naaaaa.
CORPORAL Here it is, sir. Spaceballs.
SANDURZ Good work, Corporal. Punch it up.
CORPORAL starts the tape. It starts on the FBI Warning.
SANDURZ Started much too early. Prepare to fast- forward.
CORPORAL Preparing to fast-forward.
SANDURZ Fast-forward.
CORPORAL Fast-forwarding, sir.
Starts fast-forwarding through the ludicrous speed scene. Helmet is thrown into the panel at a high-speed.
HELMET Nnnnno. Go past this, past this part. In fact, never play this again.
SANDURZ Try here. Stop.
The movie stops at the exact same thing that is actually happening now. HELMET looks at the camera, then he turns back to the monitor. SANDURZ looks at the camera when HELMET looks back at the monitor, then he looks back at the monitor. HELMET looks at the camera when SANDURZ looks back at the monitor. When HELMET turns back, he waves his hand. He turns back to the camera.
HELMET What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
SANDURZ Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.
HELMET What happened to then?
SANDURZ We passed then?
HELMET When?
SANDURZ Just now. We're at now, now.
HELMET Go back to then.
SANDURZ When?
HELMET Now.
SANDURZ Now?
HELMET Now.
SANDURZ I can't.
HELMET Why?
SANDURZ We missed it.
HELMET When?
SANDURZ Just now.
HELMET When will then be now?
CORPORAL rewinds the tape. He stops at the point when LONE STARR, BARF, VESPA, and DOT are walking through the desert.
SANDURZ Soon.
HELMET (mask down) Have you found them yet?
CORPORAL No, Lord Helmet. They're still not on the scanners.
HELMET Well, keep looking for them. (drinks coffee Through his mask)
SANDURZ Pardon me, sir. I have an idea. Corporal, get me the video cassette of Spaceballs-the Movie.
CORPORAL Yes, sir.
CORPORAL walks to a wall labeled,Mr. Rental The wall opens. He looks through the selections.
HELMET Colonel Sandurz, may I speak with you,please?
SANDURZ Yes, sir.
HELMET (lifts up mask) How could there be a cassette of Spaceballs-the Movie. We're still in the middle of making it.
SANDURZ That's true, sir, but there's been a new breakthrough in home-video marketing.
HELMET There has?
SANDURZ Yes. Instant cassettes. They're out in stores before the movie is finished.
HELMET Naaaaa.
CORPORAL Here it is, sir. Spaceballs.
SANDURZ Good work, Corporal. Punch it up.
CORPORAL starts the tape. It starts on the FBI Warning.
SANDURZ Started much too early. Prepare to fast- forward.
CORPORAL Preparing to fast-forward.
SANDURZ Fast-forward.
CORPORAL Fast-forwarding, sir.
Starts fast-forwarding through the ludicrous speed scene. Helmet is thrown into the panel at a high-speed.
HELMET Nnnnno. Go past this, past this part. In fact, never play this again.
SANDURZ Try here. Stop.
The movie stops at the exact same thing that is actually happening now. HELMET looks at the camera, then he turns back to the monitor. SANDURZ looks at the camera when HELMET looks back at the monitor, then he looks back at the monitor. HELMET looks at the camera when SANDURZ looks back at the monitor. When HELMET turns back, he waves his hand. He turns back to the camera.
HELMET What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
SANDURZ Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.
HELMET What happened to then?
SANDURZ We passed then?
HELMET When?
SANDURZ Just now. We're at now, now.
HELMET Go back to then.
SANDURZ When?
HELMET Now.
SANDURZ Now?
HELMET Now.
SANDURZ I can't.
HELMET Why?
SANDURZ We missed it.
HELMET When?
SANDURZ Just now.
HELMET When will then be now?
CORPORAL rewinds the tape. He stops at the point when LONE STARR, BARF, VESPA, and DOT are walking through the desert.
SANDURZ Soon.
KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 25,603
Same movie, my faves,
"You can't stop, sir! We're going too fast!" (good when you're trying to get a reticent guy to put out... er, nevermind.
"It's Megamaid! She's gone from suck to blow!"
"I see that your schwartz is as big as mine. Let's see how well you handle it."
"They're spaceballs."
"Oh shit, there goes the planet."
"Light speed is too slow."
"Light speed too slow?"
"Go straight to ludicrous speed."
"You can't stop, sir! We're going too fast!" (good when you're trying to get a reticent guy to put out... er, nevermind.
"It's Megamaid! She's gone from suck to blow!"
"I see that your schwartz is as big as mine. Let's see how well you handle it."
"They're spaceballs."
"Oh shit, there goes the planet."
"Light speed is too slow."
"Light speed too slow?"
"Go straight to ludicrous speed."
KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 25,603
Robin Hood: Men in Tights
"We are men in tights! We're butch." (the song)
"A chastity belt?! That's really going to chafe my willy."
"And why would people listen to you?"
"Because, unlike some other robin hoods, I can speak with an English accent."
"We are men in tights! We're butch." (the song)
"A chastity belt?! That's really going to chafe my willy."
"And why would people listen to you?"
"Because, unlike some other robin hoods, I can speak with an English accent."
Svedish_Chef
On Walkabout
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2000
- Posts
- 9,937
I'm just having Gene Wilder projections.
"The Mayor cant be black!"
"It worked in Blazing Saddles"
"The Mayor cant be black!"
"It worked in Blazing Saddles"
Dixon Carter Lee
Headliner
- Joined
- Nov 22, 1999
- Posts
- 48,682
Speaking of Robin Hood, does anyone remember...?
“Once upon a time when things were rotten,
Not just food, but also kings were rotten…..
So when other legends are forgotten,
We’ll remember back when things were rotten,
Yay for Robin Hood!”
“Once upon a time when things were rotten,
Not just food, but also kings were rotten…..
So when other legends are forgotten,
We’ll remember back when things were rotten,
Yay for Robin Hood!”
Shy Tall Guy
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2001
- Posts
- 5,735
Harbinger said:
You missed the best part: "Work, work, work. Work, work, work. Work, work, work. Hello boys, have a good night's rest, I missed you."
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