lets_explore
Virgin
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- Oct 29, 2004
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why not for reall.. why just online ?
online ?
- Thread starter lets_explore
- Start date
Alice_In_Chains
Really Experienced
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- Oct 1, 2002
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real life would be torture? I donno...
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
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*****
Last edited:
sunfox
Gangbang Girl
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I read it as a question as to why anyone does online BDSM instead of face to face.
Haven't done online BDSM myself, but it can be as simple as why you do a lot of things online.
Distance.
It's not always convenient/possible to simply pack up and move to Timbuktu simply because there's someone there you mesh with in your BDSM desires.
It also gives a sense of safety until one is comfortable meeting the other person.
My other thought on the first post is that it's just a random question that the person will never come back to... and as such, I'm wasting my valuable time answering. I think I'll go make some food.
Haven't done online BDSM myself, but it can be as simple as why you do a lot of things online.
Distance.
It's not always convenient/possible to simply pack up and move to Timbuktu simply because there's someone there you mesh with in your BDSM desires.
It also gives a sense of safety until one is comfortable meeting the other person.
My other thought on the first post is that it's just a random question that the person will never come back to... and as such, I'm wasting my valuable time answering. I think I'll go make some food.
lets_explore
Virgin
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- Oct 29, 2004
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- 7
well............
It was an accident that it ended up on the main forum, me being new here and all I posted it in the wrong spot. I see it has started a nice thread tho. Yes, it was about BDSM online, another thread refering to only wanting to do it online.. ONLY online, and like the others here, was wondering why not in real. I "assume" that its a vanilla kink thing, and not to judge others. Maybe it is a safe way to discover ones self...but how does one "inflict" the... love when the other can fake it so easily.
It was an accident that it ended up on the main forum, me being new here and all I posted it in the wrong spot. I see it has started a nice thread tho. Yes, it was about BDSM online, another thread refering to only wanting to do it online.. ONLY online, and like the others here, was wondering why not in real. I "assume" that its a vanilla kink thing, and not to judge others. Maybe it is a safe way to discover ones self...but how does one "inflict" the... love when the other can fake it so easily.
MissTaken
Biker Chick
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2001
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- 20,570
Hello Let's explore,
Welcome to the forum.
I have done online, but my interest only lasts for a very small bit of time. It seems more of a game for me than what I have experienced in real life.
I would not judge another's choices or circumstances though, nor their tastes.
We all have our own kinks and our own POVs.
Welcome to the forum.
I have done online, but my interest only lasts for a very small bit of time. It seems more of a game for me than what I have experienced in real life.
I would not judge another's choices or circumstances though, nor their tastes.
We all have our own kinks and our own POVs.
Four_Inch_Heels
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2003
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- 216
Re: well............
It's all about trust, lets_explore!
lets_explore said:
It's all about trust, lets_explore!
sigsauerprinces
just a shot away from you
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2004
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- 437
i met my owner online. for some, like someone else mentioned, it's the only option at first, because the other person lives far away-in my case, in a whole different country. but i was always working towards real life with him. i'd never want something that was always "internet only". i cant imagine never feeling the warm touch of his hand on my skin, or looking into his eyes. it was always just temporary til we could be together.
however, some people only want internet-only, and never want to meet in person. thats not how i want to live, but i dont feel like it's my right to judge anyone else's lifestyle. maybe they have reasons for wanting it to be net-only. it's always irked me the way these people are put down. if you dont like net only, simple-dont do it. but have the respect not to judge others just because you dont understand them.
however, some people only want internet-only, and never want to meet in person. thats not how i want to live, but i dont feel like it's my right to judge anyone else's lifestyle. maybe they have reasons for wanting it to be net-only. it's always irked me the way these people are put down. if you dont like net only, simple-dont do it. but have the respect not to judge others just because you dont understand them.
lets_explore
Virgin
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- Oct 29, 2004
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great responses
Yes I can see now how it would work "online" only for some. The original response of mine was asking why just online, now I can see why..... it can be an outlet, or an inlelt.. lol...
So it was good to see all the different responses from a post in the wrong spot.. and I learned that for some thats the only way they can have their kink. Others I think, were too defensive, I didnt say it was good nor bad, just wanted to know why someone would only seek "online" and never want to take it to the next step. I understand online is a way to meet others into the scene and then eventually meet up if all the kinks line up..
thanks to you all for your posts.
Yes I can see now how it would work "online" only for some. The original response of mine was asking why just online, now I can see why..... it can be an outlet, or an inlelt.. lol...
So it was good to see all the different responses from a post in the wrong spot.. and I learned that for some thats the only way they can have their kink. Others I think, were too defensive, I didnt say it was good nor bad, just wanted to know why someone would only seek "online" and never want to take it to the next step. I understand online is a way to meet others into the scene and then eventually meet up if all the kinks line up..
thanks to you all for your posts.
h_i_s
Literotica Guru
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- Jan 17, 2004
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- 4,335
For myself, i can see seeking/meeting/finding someone online who is also into the BDSM lifestyle. The internet is a great way to connect with others, and way better than meeting at a club or bar. Munches etc are OK, but i see the odds as higher and a bit more convenient as far as finding another locally through seeking others online. i don't see any true gratification in carrying on a relationship as online only however. i found my Master online. He placed an ad at the same site i placed one at, and we both listed the same interests & turn ons, as well as complaints/dislike/peeves & limits on our profiles. Collarme.com is a BDSM site with SO many registered users seeking Doms & subs. We both saw each others profiles among thousands of others & sent messages via email to each other the same day, ... talk about fate. Neither of us would be sated by any interactions online that did not hold promise for eventually being REAL. We were both seeking a REAL TIME D/s relationship. We messaged via Yahoo on June 25th and i drove an hour to meet Him on June 26th. We spent hours just talking. Each time it was time to leave, neither of us wanted to. The connection is amazing. The love is deep. The trust is infinite. We are currently looking to move into a new place (closer to my job & hometown) to live ASAP (might be as soon as Dec. 1st of this year). We hope to marry by as soon as January (need to arrange for time for out of state family to be able to attend etc).
While i understand many must stick with online only due to various personal circumstances ... NOTHING beats the real thing.
While i understand many must stick with online only due to various personal circumstances ... NOTHING beats the real thing.
perception
Virgin
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- Oct 26, 2004
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- 4
People who are only on-line are cowards and wannabe's. They have no idea what it takes to live, collared and cuffed, in real life and most could never handle it. They make light of the committment between a Dom and his sub and give those of us living and breathing the life a bad name.
perception
Virgin
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- Oct 26, 2004
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Betticus said:
Ahh, defending your own, no doubt. Shame people who live this little on-line fantasy life can't get the balls to go out and find a real life.
Actually, I'm not quite a kid anymore. Mid-thirties, matter of fact. I'm sure my guy will get a chuckle out of your opinion, though.
m wisdom
The sun is rising
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- Apr 17, 2004
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- 1,632
perception said:
I wouldn't put it as harsh as Betticus, but I don't agree with you. There are people that can have an on-line only relationship that is as deep as an real life one. And I don't think that they give the rest off us a bad name.
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
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- 10,945
Kinda makes us wonder what you're doing in an on-line BDSM forum.perception said:
If you've got the balls to admit you slummed with us to start.perception said:
As for the rest of your opinion, what makes you think the rest of us don't engage skin to skin? To the best of my knowledge, Bet didn't say a damn thing about only doing this on line. If i remember correctly, based on past posts, he indulges quite a bit in dominant behavior off line. Both moderators have real time BDSM relationships. Many of the other posters do as well.
If you came here to interact with others interested in this forum's topic, whether on-line or skin to skin, check your attitude at the door. Try reading the stickies at the top of the forum. If not, get in line behind Scarlett whatever the hell her name was and Bytor.
FungiUg
Waves at Cats
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2001
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- 10,242
I don't do online. I can talk ABOUT D/s and sex and so on with people online. I can write about D/s scenes. But I don't do online scening, or have online D/s relationships. The closest I can come is training someone who I talk to online. But that's not a full blown relationship.
Online doesn't work for me, because I need the in-person contact. My imagination works in images, not words, so cyber just doesn't cut it. It also leaves me plain frustrated, and constant frustration isn't good for by psyche or sanity.
Having said all of that, I can still understand why some people are attracted to online relationships (D/s or otherwise.)
* Fantasy versus reality: online relationships don't have to deal with a lot of the humdrum aspects of "real life". They are created and fashioned out of words, and it is easy not to mention things that don't add to it. And in many ways, it's hard for the reality of life to compete with a fantasy world.
* Safety: you never have to meet anyone, or venture outside your cosy safe world. And let's face it, there are a lot of scary people out there, many of whom are cyber predators.
* Convenience: you can have your online romance when you want to. Although having said that, if you are in different time zones, it can involve being up at odd hours. But there is still the physical convenience of having your fantasy world at your fingertips.
So yes, I can understand online relationships. And they're not about people being too scared to have a "real life relationship" either, I think. In many cases, people can't for one reason or another translate the relationship into real life. Or they may simply not want to.
Is there anything wrong with that? Of course not! We are here to celebrate and enjoy diversity, not forcably stamp everyone into the same mould. We are all perverts together, even if we are different in our outlets.
So it doesn't matter whether a relationship is "real life" or "online", D/s or otherwise. What matters is that people now have the ability to experiment and experience those things where they may not have before. Online is just another medium for communication, and communication (in my book) is a good thing!
Online doesn't work for me, because I need the in-person contact. My imagination works in images, not words, so cyber just doesn't cut it. It also leaves me plain frustrated, and constant frustration isn't good for by psyche or sanity.
Having said all of that, I can still understand why some people are attracted to online relationships (D/s or otherwise.)
* Fantasy versus reality: online relationships don't have to deal with a lot of the humdrum aspects of "real life". They are created and fashioned out of words, and it is easy not to mention things that don't add to it. And in many ways, it's hard for the reality of life to compete with a fantasy world.
* Safety: you never have to meet anyone, or venture outside your cosy safe world. And let's face it, there are a lot of scary people out there, many of whom are cyber predators.
* Convenience: you can have your online romance when you want to. Although having said that, if you are in different time zones, it can involve being up at odd hours. But there is still the physical convenience of having your fantasy world at your fingertips.
So yes, I can understand online relationships. And they're not about people being too scared to have a "real life relationship" either, I think. In many cases, people can't for one reason or another translate the relationship into real life. Or they may simply not want to.
Is there anything wrong with that? Of course not! We are here to celebrate and enjoy diversity, not forcably stamp everyone into the same mould. We are all perverts together, even if we are different in our outlets.
So it doesn't matter whether a relationship is "real life" or "online", D/s or otherwise. What matters is that people now have the ability to experiment and experience those things where they may not have before. Online is just another medium for communication, and communication (in my book) is a good thing!
lets_explore
Virgin
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2004
- Posts
- 7
now now
See, I dont get the hostility, or even some of the people who I cannot understand "online". The thing is i was not a believer until I read some of the peoples posts here. The way I see it is as long as no one is hurt it cannot be all bad. Not to say that genuine emotions couldnt occur from being just online I am sure they can and do.
Also, maybe it is not a bad way to explore a fantasy or two before actually venturing out and giving it a real go around.
I suggest re-read some posts from some of the people here and try to see it from their point of view and not be so narrow minded.
Look at it this way.. they came online learned some etiquette and some very general ideas and really liked what they learned. Then went ahead and found some "skin-skin".
Another scenario, 2 people met online.. both agreed to try some online D/s maybe one or both are married and not planning to leave the relationship but it works out for both just keeping it online.
What works for you or me... is not necessarily giong to work for the majority.
See, I dont get the hostility, or even some of the people who I cannot understand "online". The thing is i was not a believer until I read some of the peoples posts here. The way I see it is as long as no one is hurt it cannot be all bad. Not to say that genuine emotions couldnt occur from being just online I am sure they can and do.
Also, maybe it is not a bad way to explore a fantasy or two before actually venturing out and giving it a real go around.
I suggest re-read some posts from some of the people here and try to see it from their point of view and not be so narrow minded.
Look at it this way.. they came online learned some etiquette and some very general ideas and really liked what they learned. Then went ahead and found some "skin-skin".
Another scenario, 2 people met online.. both agreed to try some online D/s maybe one or both are married and not planning to leave the relationship but it works out for both just keeping it online.
What works for you or me... is not necessarily giong to work for the majority.
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