Online vs. Real Life

[Eilan]

When we post on online message forums, we're pretty well protected by the anonymity of the Internet. We can be anything/anyone we want to be, and nobody has to know differently.

A couple of recent threads threads got me wondering: How is your Lit persona similar to/different from who you are IRL?

I'll start:

IRL, I'm a little on the shy side. Always have been, though I've grown out of my shyness somewhat as I've gotten older. When I'm around people that I know really well, I tend to be a bit of a smartass. I'm the person in my circle of friends who makes everyone laugh, and I tend to do this by laying on the sarcasm a little thick. I'm particularly fond of bad puns and double entendres. Really, though, I'm pretty harmless, and my friends are WAY too used to me to be intimidated. I tend to avoid confrontation (with anyone except my ex-husband, it seems), though I will defend myself if need be.

Right now, Lit's the only place that I'm posting. I don't think my online persona differs all that much from my real-life behavior. I've been lurking around here for a LONG time, and it took me a while to work up the nerve to register and post. I think that I can be blunt at times, but I try to be nice (most of the time, anyway), though I can and will call bullshit when I deem it appropriate. I still tend to avoid confrontation, and I'm careful with the sarcasm, because I know that the written word doesn't always come across the way it's intended to (thank goodness for emoticons). And, just in case you hadn't noticed, I'm long-winded and proud of it.

This is a "porn board," though I don't like to use those words because I think Lit's much more than that. I have a pretty active, healthy sex life, though I'm by no means a sex goddess or anything like that (unless, of course, you talk to my hubby). But when it comes to all things sex, I don't make anything up. If I say it happened, you can rest assured that it DID happen.

So, Litsters, are you willing to admit to any similarities/differences? Do tell.

 

[rcuhljr]

You are me. that is scary.

 

[Eilan]

You are me. that is scary.

 

[rcuhljr]

Well I mean except for the female thing, I'm shy, but I have a really fast wit and sarcasm is my scalpel of choice. I'm definently the joker in my group of friends. just saw a large amount of parallels

 

[silverwhisper]

this is an interesting--and really nifty--thread, eilan.

i have no idea how i come off to the rest of you. i post in precisely the same manner here that i do on the one other (non-sexual) discussion forum that i frequent: i am sincere, honest, and generally open. i like to think that when i reply, i generally do so in a way that is either funny, helpful, or both, barring responses to trolls, in which case, i feel absolutely no compunction in telling the troll just how little his penis is. :>

i like to think that those things are all (more or less) the way i respond to people in real life.

ed

 

[SweetErika]

This is a really good topic, Eilan! A friend and I have had long discussions about this...he maintains everyone exaggerates certain facets, minimizes others, and shows a different side of their personality online. I understand that perspective and am sure it's true for many, but not me. I think, speak, and act the same in RL, though I'm a little more cautious here with jokes and sarcasm and open about my sexuality due to the audience (though when I'm speaking to an open minded friend IRL, I say the same things). I'm more of a listener than a talker, but don't hesitate to contribute after having a little time to digest and think, and will answer just about any question honestly. I likely come off as more of a serious person both places. I'm curious, love to learn, and ask a lot of questions. I'm impressed and annoyed by the same types of people, behaviors, and questions. I get the same comments and responses from people IRL and Litsters.

I don't have any desire to show a vastly different side or be completely anonymous...that would feel fake to me and I don't like artificial smiles, flavors, fabrics, personalities, orgasms, etc.

 

[FurryFury]

I don't really know how I come off to others on lit. Maybe it's best I don't know.

Once in college everyone had to write down something nice about the others in the class. Sounds like a nice exercise right? What comments did I get? "Slinky, pert, sexy, sensual, skinny, and lithe. Or in other words nothing at all was said about my mind or personality, only my face and body. I was devastated and embarrassed beyond belief.

On lit I "talk" more because in real life I make an conscious effort to shut up and listen to my friends. When you are posting you can say what you want to and not take away from anyone else's time though.

In real life I used to be painfully shy. I worked on that and now I am a public performer. No one really knows that shy part of me but that is still there deep down. I usually feel like I have to "entertain" others if they are quiet or slow. I have to make myself slow down and let the silence in that sometimes allow for the things that need to be spoken to come out of others. I have some very good, very open minded friends that I can talk with about nearly anything. Provided we actually have time to talk or see one another. That is hard to find sometimes. I've moved a lot so I have friends all over the country.

I tend to try to be helpful and nice. Sometimes I get pissed as hell or just really stressed and everyone anywhere close by knows it. People nearly always know exactly where they stand with me. I can lie very well but rarely bother these days as few have any power over me that matters which would make me want to lie now. Consequently I tend to be scrupulously honest and almost dare people to have a problem with it nowadays. For instance if someone dies and they were a real toxic shit head, I don't turn them into a saint, as is popular in this culture.

On lit, I think I'm a little nicer because I know how easily things can be taken the wrong and unintended way, in print. I try to be nice in real life but sometimes things just slip out. Like recently when I thought I had pushed the "disconnect button" on the phone, then carried it around with me while I went into a full five minute rant, never guessing I was being recorded by the person I had just left a sweet little message for. Oops! Damned bad fingers!

I swear the fingers on my right hand are out to get me! Last week they picked up a can of mixed nuts instead of the canned of cocktail peanuts I told them to get. *grr*

*Looks at hand suspiciously.*

What were we talking about?

*Blinks and looks at hand again zoning out.*

 

[Undomiel]

Well I'm not really that different on here. Except that here I talk about sex and stuff where as I don't usually IRL, except with my boyfriend. Although I really haven't been here long enough to develop a lit personality!

 

[EJFan]

i'm a complete ass and sexually inept in real life too.

 

[Missingmeds]

What you see here is what you get in real life. I am open and brutually honest at times and will always speak what is on my mind. I don't sugar coat things and that can be a problem for me at times. If you ask me my opinion on something, then I am most apt to ask for more information so I can form an opinion.

 

[Eilan]

Thanks for the responses, y'all!

How much effort do you suppose it takes to construct an online persona? (Assuming, of course, that someone decides NOT to be himself/herself.) I think I'd have a hard time remembering who I was--with my little ones running around, I have a hard enough time with that as it is! I'd probably have to take notes.

Though I suppose if you have the troll mindset, it would be pretty damn easy. All you'd have to do is insult people.

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for the responses, y'all!

How much effort do you suppose it takes to construct an online persona? (Assuming, of course, that someone decides NOT to be himself/herself.) I think I'd have a hard time remembering who I was--with my little ones running around, I have a hard enough time with that as it is! I'd probably have to take notes.

Though I suppose if you have the troll mindset, it would be pretty damn easy. All you'd have to do is insult people.

I've wondered how people keep it straight too, but I'm guessing a lot of them take on the characteristics they desire...from personality, physical traits, career, marital status, fantasies, down the line. It seems like a lot of effort, but might feel like a good alternative to working for what you want in reality?

 

[greenffingers]

Myself

I think I am pretty much myself online as offline. The difference, for me, is that online is an extension into areas, places, ideas, timezones and so on that wouldn't be possible otherwise and yes, I do feel a certain protection that isn't possible offline, if that makes sense?

 

[shlock]

we met online 4 years ago...

Thanks for the responses, y'all!

How much effort do you suppose it takes to construct an online persona? (Assuming, of course, that someone decides NOT to be himself/herself.) I think I'd have a hard time remembering who I was--with my little ones running around, I have a hard enough time with that as it is! I'd probably have to take notes.

Though I suppose if you have the troll mindset, it would be pretty damn easy. All you'd have to do is insult people.

I moved out east to NY state and she loves me as much now as she did before we met! she claims I really (REALLY) am the same in person!
. . . As for the "alter ego "game... there is a huge effort involved I have played that game during cyber relations at the request of the "other" online... you see I'm something of a pleaser( whatever it takes to please who I'm with )
--Although for some folks telling lies comes as naturally as breathing, so maybe there isn't always so much effort...
::: to confuse the issue ... imagine writing a story where the character/ third personality changes her mind, and there is an unasked for editor/ ghost writer...

 

[sexyjenn]

I think I'm about the same on here as in real life. I'm open and friendly about anything, if someone over-steps my personal boundries I let them know and/or don't anwser if I don't feel comfortable. I'm generally too nice to people tend to find ways to take advantage of me without me knowing it until someone (nice enough) points it out to me.

I have had a feeling that people seem a little "fake" online and I really don't like it but can't really prove it either? it's a wierd feeling.

All I can say is, Be yourself. Be who you are.

 

[shlock]

I agree whole hardedly!

I think I'm about the same on here as in real life. I'm open and friendly about anything, if someone over-steps my personal boundries I let them know and/or don't anwser if I don't feel comfortable. I'm generally too nice to people tend to find ways to take advantage of me without me knowing it until someone (nice enough) points it out to me.

I have had a feeling that people seem a little "fake" online and I really don't like it but can't really prove it either? it's a wierd feeling.

All I can say is, Be yourself. Be who you are.

I'm a phony online and I don't exist in real life either!

 

[bisexplicit]

I'm a phony online and I don't exist in real life either!

*laughs* Sometimes some people do make you wonder that...Maybe they are just a machine on an endless loop cycle creating new names to ask you "a/s/l...do you cyber?"

 

[shlock]

This is my point exactly!

I don't really know how I come off to others on lit. Maybe it's best I don't know.

Once in college everyone had to write down something nice about the others in the class. Sounds like a nice exercise right? What comments did I get? "Slinky, pert, sexy, sensual, skinny, and lithe. Or in other words nothing at all was said about my mind or personality, only my face and body. I was devastated and embarrassed beyond belief.

On lit I "talk" more because in real life I make an conscious effort to shut up and listen to my friends. When you are posting you can say what you want to and not take away from anyone else's time though.

In real life I used to be painfully shy. I worked on that and now I am a public performer. No one really knows that shy part of me but that is still there deep down. I usually feel like I have to "entertain" others if they are quiet or slow. I have to make myself slow down and let the silence in that sometimes allow for the things that need to be spoken to come out of others. I have some very good, very open minded friends that I can talk with about nearly anything. Provided we actually have time to talk or see one another. That is hard to find sometimes. I've moved a lot so I have friends all over the country.

I tend to try to be helpful and nice. Sometimes I get pissed as hell or just really stressed and everyone anywhere close by knows it. People nearly always know exactly where they stand with me. I can lie very well but rarely bother these days as few have any power over me that matters which would make me want to lie now. Consequently I tend to be scrupulously honest and almost dare people to have a problem with it nowadays. For instance if someone dies and they were a real toxic shit head, I don't turn them into a saint, as is popular in this culture.

On lit, I think I'm a little nicer because I know how easily things can be taken the wrong and unintended way, in print. I try to be nice in real life but sometimes things just slip out. Like recently when I thought I had pushed the "disconnect button" on the phone, then carried it around with me while I went into a full five minute rant, never guessing I was being recorded by the person I had just left a sweet little message for. Oops! Damned bad fingers!

I swear the fingers on my right hand are out to get me! Last week they picked up a can of mixed nuts instead of the canned of cocktail peanuts I told them to get. *grr*

*Looks at hand suspiciously.*

What were we talking about?

*Blinks and looks at hand again zoning out.*

LAUGHING out loud @ me! you see... not only am I completely made up, but as proof of this, notice that there is not even one single reference to "ME" in this entire quoted post!
*blinks and sends a private message to the five fingers on FurryFury's right hand... (individually)

 

[shlock]

I like your avatar...

*laughs* Sometimes some people do make you wonder that...Maybe they are just a machine on an endless loop cycle creating new names to ask you "a/s/l...do you cyber?"

is that photo of you? or... did it come with my wallet? a/s/l?
altruistic slippery locution?

 

[greenffingers]

I think I'm about the same on here as in real life. I'm open and friendly about anything, if someone over-steps my personal boundries I let them know and/or don't anwser if I don't feel comfortable. I'm generally too nice to people tend to find ways to take advantage of me without me knowing it until someone (nice enough) points it out to me.

I have had a feeling that people seem a little "fake" online and I really don't like it but can't really prove it either? it's a wierd feeling.

All I can say is, Be yourself. Be who you are.

We carry that responsibility all the time don't we, to be true to ourselves, and I also think that goes hand in hand with treating other people with respect too.

So a/s/l everyone?

 

[SlyKitten]

I am the same here as I am everywhere else; reserved, attentive, open minded, straightforward.

 

[sexyjenn]

unknowncyber says "hello sexy, you sound hot. "
unknowncyber says "do you cyber? A S L?"
sexyjenn says "Hello"
sexyjenn says "I'm from...."
unknowncyber says "hello sexy, you sound hot. "
unknowncyber says "do you cyber? ASL?"
sexyjenn says "australia"
unknowncyber says "hello sexy, you sound hot. "
unknowncyber says "do you cyber? ASL?"

 

[greenffingers]

unknowncyber says "hello sexy, you sound hot. "
unknowncyber says "do you cyber? A S L?"
sexyjenn says "Hello"
sexyjenn says "I'm from...."
unknowncyber says "hello sexy, you sound hot. "
unknowncyber says "do you cyber? ASL?"
sexyjenn says "australia"
unknowncyber says "hello sexy, you sound hot. "
unknowncyber says "do you cyber? ASL?"

Let's face it Jenn, you really have to stop cybering with bots!

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

hey ... did you know your messages are full and you can't recieve anymore till you clear it out?

 

[Denae]

hey ... did you know your messages are full and you can't recieve anymore till you clear it out?

Also don't forget your "sent" folder.