Online Relationships Rock, Says Psychologist

[Laurel]

Cupid's Arrow Finds Its Mark -- in Cyberspace
Fri Mar 15,11:13 PM ET
By Pat Hagan

LONDON (Reuters) - Here are words of comfort for anyone who has spent more time than he should in online chat rooms -- a British psychologist has found that courtships begun in cyberspace can very well lead to true love.

Many "virtual" relationships thrive once potential partners meet face-to-face because they already know each other so well through their online encounters, said Jeffrey Gavin, a lecturer in psychology at the University of Bath.

"Chat rooms don't lead to shallow and impersonal relationships," Gavin said in an interview on Friday. "They lead to really close relationships because people express themselves more freely and are more open and honest on the Internet."

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20020316/wr_nm/life_tech_love_dc_1

 

[Siren]

hahahhahaha

 

[TN_Vixen]

a ha! So you're trying to give us all hope

aren't you Laurel? Warning: This constitutes as valid evidence that Laurel & Manu are actively trying to promote more and more online activity.

I'm onto you, chicka!

 

[Ice Cold]

OF course they rock.... Without the physical quality to give the first impression, you are able to communicate more freely and have a chance to be known....


Of course I could just be following the subliminal message to post more

 

[Laurel]

TN_Vixen: if I really wanted to promote how great, wonderful, super, and terrific the awesome Internet is, I could tell you where I first talked to Manu. That was before the Internet existed in its current form, but it does involve the pre-Web version of online-ed-ness. I'll save that story for another day, though, and let this London psychologist convince you of how keen the Web really is.

 

[Starfish]

Re: hahahhahaha

What a bunch of BULLSHIT>

Everyone knows, people cant find love, relationship and marriage from meeting someone on the internet.


geeze, get a clue.



hahahaha.

Hey, Next time you see Cheyenne around, ask her, for me, what ever happend to that guy that used to slut around here... eh.... what was his name again? Uh, somthing to do with wild dogs and there was something about, uh, being tied to bed posts.......uh...... well, she'll know what I mean....

Would you do that for me darlin?

 

[Siren]

what do ya mean starfishy?

 

[Starfish]

Something about wolves I think.....Yes, yes... something wolfy???



Maybe I don't know for sure what I mean either.

 

[Siren]

online relationships suck

 

[PrincessSalome]

What I think is really weird is talking to someone online who you knew first in RL. I think it's a lot easier to talk when you don't have to look at that person. Like the person I'm thinking of types lol all the time but I don't think I've ever heard him laugh in real life. I'm hoping its not awkward (doesn't that word just look like what it means?) when I see him again.

 

[Starfish]

sorry to cut in Princess but taking off on what Siren just said....






AND....



AHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYEAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!




whew.

 

[Wiggles]

I would agree with these findings (and I hope they are true), but I've yet to meet someone offline that I've met on the net.

But I would agree that they can be the base of very good friendships, it's so easy to share yourself with someone when all you do is talk.

¡Viva el internet!

 

[SilverVeil]

I met my fiance online in 1999

We met face to face 8 months later and have been together ever since.
I moved from TX to be with him in RI
We have been together going on 3 years now and will be married this fall.
His daughter loves me and I love her, his mother thinks I am the best things to happen to him and I love her a lot.

If not for online .... our story would not have been able to happen.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

I"ve met one fiend from the net before, from here actualy.
there's 2 more I want and will meet sometime
and Even got my girlfriend over the net.
so I'm disagreeing with the article (but didn't read it all)

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

I am standing my ground ... I think anything is possible...


Morgy

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

wait ignore what I said......

I missread, didn't see the 'don't'
I ment the opposit of what I said

 

[kotori]

"Chat rooms don't lead to shallow and impersonal relationships," Gavin said in an interview on Friday.

I'd be content with shallow and impersonal relationships.

No, not really. I've met one person from the on-line world, and it was very cool how we just sort of picked up the conversation like we were old friends. 'Cause we were, in that on-line way.

 

[erosman]

The premise makes a lot of sense.

I would love to do my own research on this topic. I think that a delayed physical relationship, has the potential for greater depth. But, I also, would support the idea that timing is critical, too. Indefinite hope will eventually fade in the shadow of reality. On-line, or virtual relationships do tend to have a quality of fearlessness that helps to bring out the real person, which in turn cultivates a deeper root system to support the relationship. For some reason, the fear of people knowing the real 'me' inhibits my RL relationships, and consequently they never develop the chemistry that I find with cyber-friends. There is something to be learned in all of this.

 

[BustyTheClown]

I also met my boyfriend of nearly two and a half years online, in the summer of '99. We had to wait over a year before meeting, and when we finally were together it felt so natural, it was unbelievable! We got together again later last year, and we were both so comfortable with each other, it felt like we'd never been physically apart. We have bonded in so many deep ways, and I honestly don't think we could have done such bonding in real life -- he was terribly shy, and I was a flighty 16-year-old and may not have stuck around if we hadn't had such a deep connection.

I must admit, after we found each other, I stopped having any interest in meeting anyone else from online, but I would encourage anyone who feels ready for that to take the next step -- you may be pleasantly surprised!

I would love to send this article to my mother... she still thinks that my relationship with my boyfriend is a phase.

 

[BustyTheClown]

Here's a similar article

http://www.thirdage.com/news/archive/990203-01.html

 

[freescorfr]

Cupid's Arrow Finds Its Mark -- in Cyberspace
Fri Mar 15,11:13 PM ET
By Pat Hagan

LONDON (Reuters) -
"Chat rooms don't lead to shallow and impersonal relationships," Gavin said in an interview on Friday. "They lead to really close relationships because people express themselves more freely and are more open and honest on the Internet."

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20020316/wr_nm/life_tech_love_dc_1

It does not surprise me over much. On lit, for example, you can't participate effectively unless you relate and the first fundamental of relating is to affirm that the other exists. You have the quote button which means "I have heard you".


Imagine if all our RL relationships were like that.

"Yes, I understand that what you believe is.... Well, I see it a bit differently",

instead of, "Well, I think that's wrong because."

 

[riff]

I am more prone to lie and prevaricate on the this board than in my off-line life.

That's what I love about talking to people in person or on the phone. E-mails too, and ICQ.

There is a certain safety about posting on a board or in chat that I understand- but it ain't nothing like the real thing. If it leads to something healthy, enriching, and fulfilling, so be it.

But why would I want an on-line relationship when I could have one off-line? I would take the off-line one in a heartbeat. I just don't think I am wired for "on-line" love or bulletin board love. I need the security of reality.

On-line relationships rock? Of course! Friendship? Hell yes!
Something more? Let's hook up off-line every now and then. Let's face it, I went to Moscow to meet a girl once but we just wrote letters and talked on the phone (she ditched me before I got there- thank god- and I had the time of my life with my on-line friends and then some that I met there ~wink~wink~nudge~nudge~)

Wait, did I just say that all we did was write letters and talk on the phone? Shit!

Who knows what rocks and what doesn't. Don't look at me!

 

[BustyTheClown]

Lol I assume that when people say "on-line relationship" that it isn't *just* online for the course of the relationship. Shit, I wouldn't be in a 2 1/2 year relationship if I was never going to see the guy! Of course I'd take a real life relationship. But with online relationships -- if they're the kind of relationship where you end up meeting and either marrying or just having a blast together -- it's almost undoubtedly implied that it will become a real life relationship at some point.

Sorry if this is blatantly obvious, I just wanted to avoid confusion, and didn't want people thinking that people like me who are in "online relationships" are only in them online.

 

[privy2u]

I am sooooo confuuuuused!

I thought that we were supposed to be having meaningless virtual relationships with people we hope to hell never see me...I mean us! (froidian slip - sorry)

Honestly - I have met and chatted with several ladies at Lit that I would enjoy meeting face-to face. They know I'm not looking for a romantic relationship and they aren't looking for one with me either.
We aren't shy about making straight forward comments and giving honest answers, but even with that there is still little we actually know about each other!
It takes more than conversation, or even erotic conversations, to develop a quality relationship that you would hope to last the rest of your life!
Some have had success and that's great but how many have ended painfully that never make the statistics?

As for Siren and Fishie, scoot over girls I'm sittin with you on this one. Who know's I might get lucky! hehehe


privy