Online/Phone Dominance and the "Stranger" Fantasy

[Blase]

The last couple years on Lit have been something of a revelation to me. I never gave any serious thought to D/s play until I arrived here and found that I was making friends with ladies who had submissive tendencies - there was chemistry there because I had control fantasies that I hadn't really "owned" or explored to any great degree.

The play that followed - so far, at least - has all been either online or over the phone. Not a perfect situation but one that I'm enjoying until an in-person relationship comes along by whatever route.

In any case, something that I find myself thinking about and incorporating into scenes is the "stranger" fantasy that a lot of women report - that is, the fantasy of a stranger who appears, ravishes them and then disappears. I love to confront the girls with the fact that they don't know me, except for my online persona and the small amount of information that we exchange in private communications: that they in fact would not recognize me if they passed me in the street. And yet the things they do at my direction are so very personal, and sharing them with me is a real intimacy.

Just wondering if other people, in either submissive or Dominant roles, find that this, for them, actually adds to the hotness factor.

 

[minx1]

The last couple years on Lit have been something of a revelation to me. I never gave any serious thought to D/s play until I arrived here and found that I was making friends with ladies who had submissive tendencies - there was chemistry there because I had control fantasies that I hadn't really "owned" or explored to any great degree.

The play that followed - so far, at least - has all been either online or over the phone. Not a perfect situation but one that I'm enjoying until an in-person relationship comes along by whatever route.

In any case, something that I find myself thinking about and incorporating into scenes is the "stranger" fantasy that a lot of women report - that is, the fantasy of a stranger who appears, ravishes them and then disappears. I love to confront the girls with the fact that they don't know me, except for my online persona and the small amount of information that we exchange in private communications: that they in fact would not recognize me if they passed me in the street. And yet the things they do at my direction are so very personal, and sharing them with me is a real intimacy.

Just wondering if other people, in either submissive or Dominant roles, find that this, for them, actually adds to the hotness factor.

Well its kinda two fold for me. You see I do like the fantasy of being incredibly intimate with someone I haven't met...a stranger. It makes me feel dirty and slutty.

Funnily enough I think it would be an ok senario for me if I was just having random phone or cyber sex. But on the otherhand it would almost be a turn off if someone who I was thinking of forming a D/s relationship with, kept hitting home the fact that I didn't really know them. The relationship would be built on trust and if I felt that actually they had a point and that I didn't know them from Adam....it would question my ability or desire to submit.

But yes as a fantasy....hot

 

[Blase]

Thank you for your reply, Minx.

My experiences have had elements of the two extremes you mentioned.

I have had random cybersex a time or two but I'm not really looking for more of that. I much prefer to play with someone who I've chatted with a bit, whether because they've answered my personal ad or whatever the case may be. Note that in a case like that, there is something of a "relationship", a shared history, between me and the other person, yet we remain strangers to a great degree, and I think that both of those things - the relationship and the strangeness - add to the experience.

You have a point about the long term, though it doesn't apply to the same degree for me because I'm not a lifestyle player. Girls who want to be owned or collared usually move on from me after awhile and I'm ok with that. But, yes, I typically find myself emphasizing the "stranger" aspect less once I've played with a girl a few times. Although there are some who still enjoy it even after we've been playing together for awhile. Perhaps it's their personal version of the Cupid and Psyche myth - The lover who comes and finds them in the dark, never showing his face.