Online D/s ... fave orders for subs

[JamieFraser]

In a D/s relationship that is strictly 'online' ... and where the sub's spouse is aware of his/her submission to an online Dom/Domme, what are your favorites for what the Dom might require the subbie to do offline?

For example, the Dom might require the sub to go to an adult toy store and buy a specific article and tell the clerk it is being bought at the Master's command.

Other, better ideas?

~ Jamie ~

 

[Satin]

From my on line experience....

I have had a couple on line "Masters"....My first one would have me kneel naked at the comp(not sit, kneel) when it was possible and chat with him..
I had to be on line at a specific time every night.
I had to join him in the Dungeon (a BDSM chat room on Yahoo) kneeling at his side.
I was not allowed to go into other chat rooms, only ones he preapproved.
Once a week he insisted on calling me, so as to be sure by the tone of my voice that I was not lieing (still not sure how he knew but since lieing aint my thing anyway...it was easy)
He had some rules I thought did'nt make sence cause they took away from self pride....but he insisted that I only refer to myself as "this one" as in "May this one enter the room".
Thing like this.....as for on line punishment....if I displeased him, I was not allowed to speak with him for a day or 2 but I had to sit still in the room with him while he payed attention to his other "pets".
Things like that....He mailed me toys that he specificly wanted me to use while talking with him....
It aint easy doing the strickly on line thing, and as I have found it is only the Dom's that is looking for some quick cyber that do it.
Dom/sub relationships are not about the sex....the sex is a bonus just like in a vanillia relationship.
keep in mind this is just my opinion and should be taken as such...nothing personal.
satin

 

[cymbidia]

I had to join him in the Dungeon (a BDSM chat room on Yahoo) kneeling at his side.

I spent a lot of time in this place in, like, 1995-1996. Very odd that you would bring it up here, now. I still have friends, am still in contact with people, from those times, too.

 

[MissTaken]

I never did enjoy the chat room scene. OF course, lacking the information and confidence last year to feel comfortable in a chat room, my first experiences were horrid.

I felt much like a cyber lamb being lead to slaughter!




As for on line orders?

Here are some simple suggestions:
~dressing for Him.

~reading something as directed or viewing websites.

~talking with some of His on line friends.

~trolling for a sub.

~journalling.

~sending her on an errand or ordering a task with complete report back.

Of course, on line or long distance D/s relies even more heavily on trust....Is He lying to me? Is she lying about her accomplishment?

Are their six other subs chatting with Him while I do?

Do W/we have one another's complete and undivided attention.

On line is not for me!

Miss T

The eternal pessimist!

 

[fallon2]

Journal

What a great idea! Hving the sub keep a journal. Any other subs out there who had to keep a journal?? If so . . what was in it?

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Journal

I have always kept journals. I do use the term loosely as it happens that I have about a dozen notebooks lying around with thoughts, letters, ideas, song lyrics, poetry, prose and whatever else came to mind. My writing lacks discipline *smirk*

So, keeping a journal for a Dom is not a chore except with regard to the disciplined manner in which it needs to be kept.

The journal can be like a road map. It also helps me, personally, to work through the little issues that crop up. Writing is very soothing and assists me to organize my thoughts.

It is also helpful sometimes to share....as there are times I write things that I have a difficult time saying.

 

[fallon2]

The journal

I do indeed like the idea of your journal being able to help you and I think that it would also help the s/o in your life as well. I hope you do get the journal and begin immediately to help you both.

 

[iamaddog]

keeping a journal

personally I have not been asked by my Mistress to keep a running journal,...but I am required to send in a daily report of my activities and my progress on my training exercise lessons I perform for Her. this is to be "on Her desk" first thing every morning. otherwise i have justify why I am tardy with my report.

anyone else doing or have done such reports????

mad dog in iowa////

 

[MissTaken]

To some degree, yes. I have been required to report back concerning tasks or projects. Sometimes, this has been by written report, other times by phone.

Before becoming comfortable with bisexuality, I had been told to begin "looking at women differently." Each day, I was to report concerning a woman that caught my eye, seemed attractive or seemed attracted to me. If I spoke with her, made eye contact or touched her, I was to report not only what happened, but how it made me feel.

I must say, that was one of the nicer directions I have received and helped become comfortable with my bisexuality and women, in general.

 

[iamaddog]

MissTaken...

food for thought here. thank You so very much!.. it is odd, that at a time when I feel no one listens I find yet another new idea.
how interesting you brought up the subject of interpreting feelings and reactions. I myself over the years have gone from ground zero as a male chauvinist pig to a male of wishing to show honor and respect to the female species.
my 3rd wife instilled in me, much to my dismay at the time, her knowledge of N.O.W.--and with the help of a sister-friend whom is dear to my heart since 1980,..I have come to realize women are people too. I, as a male crossdresser, have an attitude of wishing to say to Ladies when I am able to, about how nice an outfit looks and such, without, being aggressive sexually.
I do not, now, and have not, for some time, been forward, to the Ladies. I try very very hard, even if it eats at me sometimes, to show as much respect as I can---back to the old chivalry ways....
especially.....now....with my Mistress in my life!!!! oh wow!
don't think this hasn't made a change!!!! boy oh boy. can I tell You. ohhhhhhh yeahhhhh!. making changes right and left...
and She does feel I have...made..some progress for Her.
yes, there are times,..when any one female gets on my nerves, and I fall back to" darned women!"...but I try to keep a civil tongue in my head moreso now than I have ever before.
don't think for a minute I don't see in my mind's eye, that it could be my Mistress standing there when something doesn't go right at work or such, while I am having trouble with a female co-worker over whatever....oh yeah! makes me watch my tongue real quick!! so,..MissTaken,....thank You again for Your food of thought...it is inspiring to me,...believe me or not!! You, and my Mistress show me a positive outlook once again for the female sisterhood in this world!!! I thank You most kindly.

please take care and be good to Yourself!

mad dog in iowa

 

[catalina_francisco]

http://users.pandora.be/eforum/emoticons4u/crazy/071.gif ..Bump

 

[Ms_Kat]

I get slammed with men begging to my eternal online slave all the time. I've only developed any kind of relationship with one of them, basically because I put too many demands on them. I do it on purpose, to weed out those that are lying to me.

This man, call him Paul, was married to a woman (obviously) who we will call Nancy. After talking with Paul many times online but never giving in to his desire for full scale domination, I asked to speak to Nancy directly - on the phone, so I could make sure it was her and not just him blowing smoke up my wazoo (do women have wazoos?).

She didn't want to talk directly, so we emailed a few times. After a month or two, we did talk on the phone. We discussed what her husband wanted me to do, what I was willing to do, and what she would tolerate. We actually spoke for about three hours, and I learned a lot about their marriage - maybe more than he knew about it.

Nancy was okay with it because she thought she could never dominate him. Of course, her idea of domination was Pam Anderson in 16 inch heels, spiked collar, and an 8 foot bull whip. We agreed that Paul would be responsible for keeping a copy of all online conversations he had with me and that he would email a copy to both me and Nancy. If she had any questions for him, then he would write them down, with his answers, and submit them to both of us via email. I didn't want anything going on behind her back. If she knew, then she knew everything - that was my position. Of course, if she didn't want to know, she didn't have to read the email.

I held the passwords to his two primary email accounts, as did she. We both checked them several times a day. He knew we were checking. Of course, he could easily open up another account, but there is nothing you can do about that. I wanted him to feel that he was under my supervision, but also that Nancy was capable of providing some level of supervision as well.

Our cyber-meetings were twice a week at the same time and day every week. If he missed it by more than five minutes, then he had to email an explanation that was verified by Nancy. If it was a good reason, there was no consequences. If it wasn't, then he had no contact with me for a week. If he missed three straight appointments, then the separation was to be permanent.

He was not allowed to have sex with Nancy either the day before our sessions or the day of them. This was fine with Nancy as she was tired of fighting him off. I didn't want him to use me as a porno flash and then slam his body into Nancy until he was ready to sleep. It just wouldn't be fair to her.

I don't like body hair, and he had a lot. He had to keep his body shaven from his navel to mid-thigh. If I got word from Nancy that there was too much stubble, then he was punished by missing a session with me.

I enjoy anal play, so he had to experience a series of enemas. He also had to insert a butt plug for gradually longer periods of time. Of course, various anal toys were also introduced along the way.

He was not allowed to orgasm with me or to masturbate. His only sexual release would be with Nancy.

Each session with me cost him an extra domestic chore for the day. Sometimes he would scrub the toilet, sometimes do the laundry (including folding and putting it away), sometimes he had to do the dishes by hand instead of using the dishwasher. Eventually we found that all three of us enjoyed having him wash Nancy underwear by hand (she even stopped wearing granny panties all the time and got some sexy stuff). He discovered that her scent lingered very strongly on them during her period (duh!), and that her scent was enough to make him hard.

I had him keep the usual journal of fantasies. After a period of time, I began sharing them with Nancy.

He had to sit and massage her feet when they watched television together at the end of the day - and he had to spend at least an hour a day doing so.

There was a long list of things by the time we decided that Nancy really wanted to take over his domination. I think what put her over the edge is when she took the chance and used a dildo on him while she gave him a blowjob. She said he cried in her arms like a baby when she was done.

I still keep in contact with them from time to time. We've talked about meeting face to face, but never actually done it. This was all over a period of about three and a half years.

I'm not sure how I'd handle a man who wasn't married or a woman who didn't want to participate. I think I wouldn't do it if that were the case.

Before too many of you get excited, I'm not looking to do it again. It took a lot of time and effort on the part of all three of us. I just don't want to invest that much time at this point in my life.

Hugs,


Kat

 

[Shadowsdream]

Kat

Thank You for the wonderful response..and the way You introduced a woman to the joys of Dominating her own husband.

Very descriptive and realistic approach You took, filled with respect and firm control.

Bravo!

 

[Ms_Kat]

Thank you.

 

[MissTaken]

Ms. Kat,

That is a wonderful example of on line D/s in a positive and effective light. It goes far deeper than typing orders and replies back and forth.

I do understand the effort involved, but you are to be commended for your role in assisting Paul as well as his wife.

I have tried long distance D/s which, at times, translated into primarily "On line" and found that while it was helpful when I was first learning, it doesn't do it for me.