Online BDSM: Modes of Communication

[P. B. Walker]

With all forms of long distance relationships we have to have a medium to communicate. What are the favorite forms of communication among the members here? Phone, Cyber, Cam? Others? Mixture of the previous?

Interested minds want to know

PBW "Mmm should this be a poll? I've never done a poll"... I'm a poll-virgin! lol

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I prefer phone with those people that I've established friendships or relationships with, and internet chat thingys for those people that I 'know' from Lit, but don't really know, y'know?

 

[P. B. Walker]

I prefer phone with those people that I've established friendships or relationships with, and internet chat thingys for those people that I 'know' from Lit, but don't really know, y'know?

like know in the biblical sense, huh? lol.

PBW

 

[Ms_Lilith]

like know in the biblical sense, huh? lol.

PBW

*snicker*

mayyyyyybe.

 

[mistresssilkeng]

With all forms of long distance relationships we have to have a medium to communicate. What are the favorite forms of communication among the members here? Phone, Cyber, Cam? Others? Mixture of the previous?

Interested minds want to know

PBW "Mmm should this be a poll? I've never done a poll"... I'm a poll-virgin! lol

Lol My favorite has to be phone because the person seems much closer mentally through that connection, although nothing tops skin to skin

Silken

 

[P. B. Walker]

Anyone ever try phone and cam at the same time?

PBW

 

[honeylick]

Anyone ever try phone and cam at the same time?

PBW

yes... its lots of fun...

 

[SexyChele]

Curious as to the phone and cam thing, since most programs that support a cam allow your computer mic to be on. You would be hearing the conversation twice, no?

As for me, skin to skin is best. However, if that is unavailable, phone is the next best thing to being there. I also like the cam, but it sucks if the other person doesn't have one yet. Of course, you can get into this sort of "putting on a show" thing. And something that I've come to look forward to: snail mail. There truly is something in the idea that some one had to take time to sit down and write out a letter or card, address it, put a stamp on it, and make sure it got into the mail.

And, well, there are also all those little gifts that say, "I thought about you." But that's for another time.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Curious as to the phone and cam thing, since most programs that support a cam allow your computer mic to be on. You would be hearing the conversation twice, no?

As for me, skin to skin is best. However, if that is unavailable, phone is the next best thing to being there. I also like the cam, but it sucks if the other person doesn't have one yet. Of course, you can get into this sort of "putting on a show" thing. And something that I've come to look forward to: snail mail. There truly is something in the idea that some one had to take time to sit down and write out a letter or card, address it, put a stamp on it, and make sure it got into the mail.

And, well, there are also all those little gifts that say, "I thought about you." But that's for another time.

Well in my experience, unless you have a dedicated T1 line between you, doing the video and audio in a cam program results in some very scratchy and bumpy video/audio. Either the video is jumpy or frozen, or the audio is cutting in and out. Using both phone and cam, you can just set the cam to video only so that you dont' cut into the bandwidth with the audio.. it's all video. Then the phone can be used for audio. And if you have a hand's free mic/headset you don't even notice you are on the phone.



PBW "YOu know you are a perv when you figure all this out" LOL.

 

[mistresssilkeng]

Well in my experience, unless you have a dedicated T1 line between you, doing the video and audio in a cam program results in some very scratchy and bumpy video/audio. Either the video is jumpy or frozen, or the audio is cutting in and out. Using both phone and cam, you can just set the cam to video only so that you dont' cut into the bandwidth with the audio.. it's all video. Then the phone can be used for audio. And if you have a hand's free mic/headset you don't even notice you are on the phone.



PBW "YOu know you are a perv when you figure all this out" LOL.

No cam for Me as it looks like a slide show on My crappy computer, no fun there

Silken

 

[P. B. Walker]

No cam for Me as it looks like a slide show on My crappy computer, no fun there

Silken

Well ya do need to spend some $$ to get a good image too. <winks>. That is actually something you can control. The bandwidth between you and your lover is pretty much uncontrollable once you have a high-end connection (T1, DSL, Cable, etc). You are at the mercy of the internet.

PBW "Gawd, I know way too much about this"

 

[mistresssilkeng]

Well ya do need to spend some $$ to get a good image too. <winks>. That is actually something you can control. The bandwidth between you and your lover is pretty much uncontrollable once you have a high-end connection (T1, DSL, Cable, etc). You are at the mercy of the internet.

PBW "Gawd, I know way too much about this"

LOL i think i should add a new computer to that christmas wish list then i might actually be able to use cam, but would rather save cash for more skin to skin visits

But thanks for the advice PB.. lol and yes you do know a bit much

Silken

 

[SexyChele]

Well in my experience, unless you have a dedicated T1 line between you, doing the video and audio in a cam program results in some very scratchy and bumpy video/audio. Either the video is jumpy or frozen, or the audio is cutting in and out. Using both phone and cam, you can just set the cam to video only so that you dont' cut into the bandwidth with the audio.. it's all video. Then the phone can be used for audio. And if you have a hand's free mic/headset you don't even notice you are on the phone.



PBW "YOu know you are a perv when you figure all this out" LOL.

I have the lowest of the low connections: ordinary dial up connections, and I've never had a problem between video and audio. Just been lucky?

Well, since I am too cheap to do the DSL or cable thing, the only way I could this would be to set the volume off on my computer, and use my cell phone. And that's the crappiest of all connections! (Yup, I'm cheap when it comes to my cell phone as well, what can I say?)

 

[mistresssilkeng]

I have the lowest of the low connections: ordinary dial up connections, and I've never had a problem between video and audio. Just been lucky?

Well, since I am too cheap to do the DSL or cable thing, the only way I could this would be to set the volume off on my computer, and use my cell phone. And that's the crappiest of all connections! (Yup, I'm cheap when it comes to my cell phone as well, what can I say?)

LOL My memory on the computer is the smallest possible.. so can't do much of anything except chat.

Silken

 

[NemoAlia]

mistresssilkeng,

Wow, I totally did a double-take reading that "memory" post! I thought you were saying, "My brain has very little memory, so all I can really do is chat." Here I was all geared up to disagree with you when it occurred to me what you actually meant. Whoops!

 

[mistresssilkeng]

Re: mistresssilkeng,

Wow, I totally did a double-take reading that "memory" post! I thought you were saying, "My brain has very little memory, so all I can really do is chat." Here I was all geared up to disagree with you when it occurred to me what you actually meant. Whoops!

LOL well i have no shame, memory can sometimes fail Me but the comptuer memory on My PC is sadly lacking and that is what i meant I hope you meant to disagree in a good way, and tell Me that My memory couldn't possibly be that bad

Silken

 

[lark sparrow]

With all forms of long distance relationships we have to have a medium to communicate. What are the favorite forms of communication among the members here? Phone, Cyber, Cam? Others? Mixture of the previous?

Interested minds want to know

PBW "Mmm should this be a poll? I've never done a poll"... I'm a poll-virgin! lol

LOL I have a fondness for the written word, so I can usually read/type longer than I am willing to listen/talk, generally speaking. But then cyber sex has never been a favorite or staple because, well, sex includes a good bit of the physical for me.

I do love to hear Mistress' voice (good thing Mistress is... chooses my word carefully, loquacious) and I also love chatting with Her online - but the best is simply being with Her, in person.

Picks E. A mixture

 

[mistresssilkeng]

Re: Re: Online BDSM: Modes of Communication

LOL I have a fondness for the written word, so I can usually read/type longer than I am willing to listen/talk, generally speaking. But then cyber sex has never been a favorite or staple because, well, sex includes a good bit of the physical for me.

I do love to hear Mistress' voice (good thing Mistress is... chooses my word carefully, loquacious) and I also love chatting with Her online - but the best is simply being with Her, in person.

Picks E. A mixture

It is ok to admit it love, i am a non-stop talker!

Silken

 

[MsDemeanor]

Anything works if you are not with the one that you want to be with.

I've used the phone, instant messages, email, letters, packages, etc.

I know that its hard no matter what, and as far as the d/s part, its beyond cruel to use no contact at all as a way to "punish" someone for any slights, real or perceived.

I found that when you are not with someone, its so easy to get your wires crossed and have misunderstandings that were never meant.

 

[shytilwet23]

mmmmm, cyberfucking

I just love to cyber, especially with a pic of the guy in the background. MMMMMmmmmmmm
I've never trusted anyone I've met on-line with my phone number yet..........except for two girls and I gave them my number when they were having problems.
I don't have a cam, but I've seen a few guys on their cams.......hot, yeah.
Hell, I don't even have a mic LOL

 

[thejamesuk]

I have to confess that I prefer cam to cam. I have been (perhaps rather too embaraased to admit) caught be chatting with a man (I am straight) more than once, and now I will not have more than the most superficial of conversations without having seen the person on the other end via cam, and ys I do have a cam, and yes I am always willing to use it (sauce for goose and gander).

As for the D/s part, someone (apologies for not quoting) said something about 'no contact being cruel'. I can not agree more. It is cruel in r/t let alone LDR. And the problem with LDR, especially with the limited communication available via IM is that light hearted comments can be taken as deeply hurtful slights and hurts. IM/IRC is very difficult to use, whilst using the cam, adds some of the non-verbal stuff you get r/t. And if you are like me, where you travel a great deal, and the job drives you crazy, LDR's are sometimes easier to sustain. But damn I prefer skin to skin...

How the hell (sorry high horse here!!) can you feel the sweet sting of a beautiful subbies ass on your hand at 4,000 miles?

LDE's are nearly all about the submission of the mind first, and the body second... the result is that when skin-to-skin happens.. god is it good!!!

 

[thejamesuk]

Re: mmmmm, cyberfucking

I just love to cyber, especially with a pic of the guy in the background. MMMMMmmmmmmm
I've never trusted anyone I've met on-line with my phone number yet..........except for two girls and I gave them my number when they were having problems.
I don't have a cam, but I've seen a few guys on their cams.......hot, yeah.
Hell, I don't even have a mic LOL

Find yourself a cam hun, and then let us know how it feels!

 

[lark sparrow]

I have to confess that I prefer cam to cam. I have been (perhaps rather too embaraased to admit) caught be chatting with a man (I am straight) more than once, and now I will not have more than the most superficial of conversations without having seen the person on the other end via cam, and ys I do have a cam, and yes I am always willing to use it (sauce for goose and gander).

LOL I thought this heterosexual male on heterosexual male mix up only occured in lesbian chat rooms.

 

[redelicious]

I don't have a cam so I really don't know what that's like. We tried the voice chat on yahoo for awhile, but I personally never got used to the wait time (you can't talk while the other person is talking).

We talk on the phone when we can and chat the rest of the time, or goof around on message boards.

 

[Pixie]

I don't have a cam so I really don't know what that's like. We tried the voice chat on yahoo for awhile, but I personally never got used to the wait time (you can't talk while the other person is talking).

We talk on the phone when we can and chat the rest of the time, or goof around on message boards.

I don't have a cam either and as for the voice thing, we did try that...
I could hear him, but we just couldn't get the settings to work for him to hear me

So we do the IM and eMail, Lit is fun to roam around and can bring up things to discuss, from serious to just goofy Snailmail is nice, as it takes a bit more effort. And we have the occasional phonecalls, it's expensive though, living in different countries.