(Onion): Science-Fiction Novel Posits Future Where Characters Are Hastily Sketched

[BlackShanglan]

Lord, how I love these people.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46693

The Onion
Science-Fiction Novel Posits Future Where Characters Are Hastily Sketched
March 29, 2006 | Issue 42•13

OREGON CITY, OR—Science-fiction author Morgan Richards announced Monday completion of his long-awaited novel, Zeppelins Of Phobos. The swashbuckling tale of the battle for control of the solar system depicts a terrifying future filled with virtually indistinguishable characters who only communicate through stilted and shallow dialogue. "I've always been intrigued by the concept of the two-dimensional, almost caricatured human race spreading to nearby planets," said Richards in the April/May issue of Asimov's Science Fiction. "I wanted to capture the sense of adventure, lust, and peril that these characters would feel, along with their utter lack of social context or emotional complexity." Richards said the very nature of his characters demanded that they live in the unlikely, unrealistic, and overly cinematic society he painstakingly details in the book.

 

[Guest]

Lord, how I love these people.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46693


OREGON CITY, OR—Science-fiction author Morgan Richards announced Monday completion of his long-awaited novel, Zeppelins Of Phobos. The swashbuckling tale of the battle for control of the solar system depicts a terrifying future filled with virtually indistinguishable characters who only communicate through stilted and shallow dialogue. "I've always been intrigued by the concept of the two-dimensional, almost caricatured human race spreading to nearby planets," said Richards in the April/May issue of Asimov's Science Fiction. "I wanted to capture the sense of adventure, lust, and peril that these characters would feel, along with their utter lack of social context or emotional complexity." Richards said the very nature of his characters demanded that they live in the unlikely, unrealistic, and overly cinematic society he painstakingly details in the book.

Would you post warnings on this stuff? I'll be HOURS cleaning the soda out of my keyboard and off my monitor!

 

[JamesSD]

I love the onion. It's sometimes forumlaic, but often the formula just works.

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[Liar]

That calls for a

 

[3113]

The really sad part of this is that now I have an unwanted mental picture of a space pirate skimming the Hindenburg over the surface of that crummy little moon.

Unwanted? I live for images like that! Someone draw it up!

Stella! Buckle on your Swash! We've a Zeppelin to catch!

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[3113]

Remember the movie Robinson Crusoe on Mars? Phobos (or is it Deimos?) does the Hindenburg in that one.

I love that stupid movie! I've no idea why, 'cause it's really awful. One of those movies I'm usually ashamed to admit I like...as I would not admit to liking certain Disney films or certain, original Star Trek episodes.....

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Lord, how I love these people.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46693

The Onion
Science-Fiction Novel Posits Future Where Characters Are Hastily Sketched
March 29, 2006 | Issue 42•13

OREGON CITY, OR—Science-fiction author Morgan Richards announced Monday completion of his long-awaited novel, Zeppelins Of Phobos. The swashbuckling tale of the battle for control of the solar system depicts a terrifying future filled with virtually indistinguishable characters who only communicate through stilted and shallow dialogue. "I've always been intrigued by the concept of the two-dimensional, almost caricatured human race spreading to nearby planets," said Richards in the April/May issue of Asimov's Science Fiction. "I wanted to capture the sense of adventure, lust, and peril that these characters would feel, along with their utter lack of social context or emotional complexity." Richards said the very nature of his characters demanded that they live in the unlikely, unrealistic, and overly cinematic society he painstakingly details in the book.

Long live, THE ONION!

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[Guest]

Yep, it's definitely one of those guilty pleasures, and in some ways it's not all that bad... I saw it when it came out, and remember being hooked when those spacecraft went whooshing by early in the movie. Lots of things were terrible in the movie, but like some of those Trek episodes, there was something sort of compelling about it, even if the characters were two (or even one) dimensional. I'll still rewatch parts of it when it shows up on cable. <smile>

Oh, but there are so many SF movies so bad that they require watching, either because they can be mocked so completley, or because they contain that one little germ of something elusive.

Of course, I've two movies I love just for their mockability -- one being Moon 44 and the other being King Kong vs. Godzilla (for the blue screen octopus battle and the Kong By Balloon scene and the Monkey Swings Lizard by Tail scene and....oh there is soooo much!)

I wince through the old ST:TOS episodes, but I still love 'em. LOVE 'EM.

 

[CharleyH]

Lord, how I love these people.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46693

The Onion
Science-Fiction Novel Posits Future Where Characters Are Hastily Sketched
March 29, 2006 | Issue 42•13

OREGON CITY, OR—Science-fiction author Morgan Richards announced Monday completion of his long-awaited novel, Zeppelins Of Phobos. The swashbuckling tale of the battle for control of the solar system depicts a terrifying future filled with virtually indistinguishable characters who only communicate through stilted and shallow dialogue. "I've always been intrigued by the concept of the two-dimensional, almost caricatured human race spreading to nearby planets," said Richards in the April/May issue of Asimov's Science Fiction. "I wanted to capture the sense of adventure, lust, and peril that these characters would feel, along with their utter lack of social context or emotional complexity." Richards said the very nature of his characters demanded that they live in the unlikely,
unrealistic, and overly cinematic society he painstakingly details in the book.

ROFLOL - yep saw it - LOL - LOL

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[Guest]

Fans of MST3K, unite! The movies they roasted were pretty much germ-free so the mockery could be enjoyed without any guilt whatsoever. For example, the Gamera movies...the Prince of Space movies...ahh, the memories! Joel, Mike, Tom, Crow, where have you gone?

They did render a lot of unwatchable drivel tolerable, didn't they?

Didn't they once roast a Charlton Heston movie -- was it The Omega Man or something like that? I have this memory...

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[3113]

Didn't they once roast a Charlton Heston movie -- was it The Omega Man or something like that? I have this memory...

Ack! Brain cells wasted on The Omega Man firing! Bad Mal! How could you wake them up?

Omega Man was a Zombie movie. If I recall correctly: one of those late-60's/early 70's post-apocalyptic, humanity-destroyed-itself-and-I-got-were-these-lousy-flesh-eating-zombies sort of thing. Heston played the lone-hero-in-ruined world role that Mel Gibson would take over in the 80's Mad Max movies. Heston saves a group of children at the end, dying in a crucifix pose to hammer home (that's a pun) the allusion.

 

[3113]

Damaged bathysphere, water spraying all over inside it; two adults trying to save the situation; a little boy and girl escaping up a ladder to rescue. One adult shouts over the tumult: "She's leaking pretty bad!"

Crow: "And what about the little boy?"​

LOL! One of my fave lines comes from a more recent Godzilla movie. A group of soldiers are about to attack Godzilla who, of course, is destroying Tokyo once again. Their leader bucks them up with these immortal words:
"Remember. He may be big, but he's still just a lizard!"

Godzilla steps on the guy.

 

[Guest]

Ack! Brain cells wasted on The Omega Man firing! Bad Mal! How could you wake them up?

Omega Man was a Zombie movie. If I recall correctly: one of those late-60's/early 70's post-apocalyptic, humanity-destroyed-itself-and-I-got-were-these-lousy-flesh-eating-zombies sort of thing. Heston played the lone-hero-in-ruined world role that Mel Gibson would take over in the 80's Mad Max movies. Heston saves a group of children at the end, dying in a crucifix pose to hammer home (that's a pun) the allusion.

Sorry! wasn't on purpose! and yes, that was the movie. They did a nice tear up. I think MST3K is available on DVD -- although it's amost as much fun to play the home version if you get the right mix of folks.

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[Guest]

<laughing>

Yep, they had some great ones!

There are DVDs of these things out, as Mal mentioned, but they're sort of pricey for me--about $12 per episode. And I don't think they've put the oldest ones to disk yet. What I'd most like to see again are the episodes they did on a local broadcast station before they took the program national.

Do you have other favorite bad SF movies? I'm a fan of all things Godzilla (although, really, the more recent ones actually are pretty good popcorn movies).

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[Guest]

Hmm, trying to dredge up names on a Saturday morning before my coffee... that's asking a lot! <smile>

Generic attributes of bad SF movies:

• Any movie that involves the evacuation of a major city. For example, clearing everyone out of Tokyo every time Godzilla goes for a stroll. This always seemed like an excuse for ten minutes of crowd shots including the inevitable scene of hysterical people tripping over lost, crying children. Just for once I'd like to see the kids smiling and trying to trip people as they ran past.

• Any movie in which almost all the action takes place in some moody, poorly lit (a) space station, (b) underground cave complex, (c) warehouse, or (d) maze of corridors. These typically low-budget movies specialize in shots of people walking repeated by the same points. For example, you'll see the same cheesy rock formation time and time again in scenes that supposedly take place in widely separated locations. Tedious made-for-television movies often fall into this group; check the SciFi channel's program listing for way too many examples. An exception is Alien, a very good movie which I refuse to rewatch on the grounds that it scared the crap out of me the first time.

• Almost any American movie made during the late 50s or early 60s. Oh, I know, there are lots of exceptions, but boy there were some stinkers, too. Can you recall The Brain from Planet Arous (1957)? Enough said.

I'll stop with that; there are other indicators of wretchedness, but maybe others can contribute a few.

Now where's my coffee?

I can't really disagree with a single point. I never watched Alien. I had a stupid video game for my Commodore 64 computer that had the "alien is near" sound effect and THAT scared the crap out of me. I don't think I've survive the movie.

One movie I've never quite resolved on is "Forbidden Planet". I've seen is so many times, and I know it is the SOURCE for many an SF cliche, and I know it's a new take on "The Tempest"...but is it GOOD? Or is is so cheesily bad it's good?

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[Guest]

Kind of both, I think. Groundbreaking, in some ways; it's easy to see how much of it was inspiration for Star Trek, particularly the pilot episode. Cheesy, too, what with the crude behaviors and attitudes of the crew. Maybe it's the compelling visuals that mark it as different, or the movie's attempt at being more than just an action/adventure pic. Sort of like Star Trek, which may not have been deep but certainly moved the genre beyond Captain Video.

Contrast Forbidden Planet with a more typical 1956 movie, The Mole People, and you can see how it stands apart. I think that Forbidden tried to be something other than costume sci-fi, and for me that is perhaps its greatest charm.

And here's a question. In 1951, two marvelous sci-fi movies appeared: The Day the Earth Stood Still, and The Thing from Another World. Five years would pass until another benchmark sci-fi movie appeared. Why the delay? The poisoned political atmosphere? (The Invasion of the Body Snatchers came out in 1956.)

Political climate might have had something to do with it. After all, at least "The Day the Earth Stood Still" had a very obvious political message that might have gotten the hairy eyeball from Washington. I don't think it was as popular then to stand in opposition to the government -- and even now, you will get someone upset no matter which side you take.

Sometimes I wonder if the image of cultural homogeny we have of the 50's is the product of the TV and movies we see now. I wasn't there to look, but I've caught enough stuff through the years to think that a large group WANTED that image to overlay what they felt was "less desireable" and that might also have had a restricting affect on SF movies.

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....