FlamingoBlue
a simple country lawyer
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2000
- Posts
- 2,994
On the occassion of my 2500th post or, how I have survived the BB. Some reflections=>
Where to start?? I know; FUCK. In fact, that's several of the reasons that I'm here all rolled up in one unfuckingbelievably compact little word.
From the date that I made my, less than respectable, entrance into this little community, I was struck by the fact that it was like a small town. I know that I have said this before, but it bears repeating since it is pivotal to how we all get along. Unlike a big city, there is no place to run for cover in small town. Everyone knows who you are and what you had for dinner. And they talk about you all the time. There are secrets. but eventually they get out on the street.
There are three classes of people in small towns; natives (born there), locals (born elsewhere but lived there a long time and accepted by the natives) and everybody else. In Charlevoix (that's a resort town in northern Michigan where I used to own second home) a town of about 3000 people. I learned a few things that I would like to pass on to you:
1. You can say anything you want to about someone else as long as it is not hurtful, because you never know exactly who you are talking to. Because you can expect that sooner rather than later, the person that you are talking about will hear what you said about them. So, you might as well tell them what you think, directly, rather than triangulating everyone else in town into your personal problems. You can expect that whatever you say will likely be repeated. I mean, what else do people talk about in small towns??
Translated to the BB, we could all save ourselves a lot of time if we were more up front about things by using the pm's or email when we have something to say to one another. That is, unless your sense is for the dramatic and you like to stir the pot.
2. Since there are a limited number of people in small towns, its sometimes necessary to dig down deep to find the good in someone. (There was a guy in Charlevoix that sold drugs to kids, but he cooked great Bar-b-q. I would never invite him to my home but I would eat his ribs and complement him on them, when he wasn't in jail). When you are constantly finding fault in people. pretty soon you'll have no on to talk to.
3. There is a time and a place to say fuck. I rarely use the f-word in real life, anymore. I stopped about 5 years ago because I found that it helped me to better control what I said and how I presented myself. Here on the BB, however, use the f-word, as well as others that I don't use in RL. Because here I am FlaminoBlue, an enhanced version of the real me.
4. People come and go (fit in or don't) in small towns based on their willingness and need to accept and be accepted. There were many "fudgies" who come to Chalevoix each summer who only know other "fudgies" and no one else in town. (A fudgie is a pejorative for a visitor/vacationer from out of town; typically a downstater). Eventually, dr. blue and I sold our house because our needs had changed, although we had ben accepted by the natives as locals. People on the BB come and go, much the same way. Lasher left. So did Madam Pandora and other "popular" folk. So be it.
5. You can't please everyone so its best to be yourself, provided that you are willing to bear the consequences of your own actions. They say that you only have one chance to make a good first impression. That is especially true in a small town because word gets around. This doesn't mean that you always have to be on your best behavior. It only means that if you fuck up the first time around, you may not get a second chance.
Now, let's get back to the f-word. I like it, so I use it; alot. Some have found me vulgar. Imagine that? ( I even did a thread on it). I suggested that the offended parties put me on ignore. And I hope they have because I don't intentionally try to hurt anyone. f you choose to read my thread or posts, be prepared to encounter the "blue" zone. I'm sorta fond of the old bird!
blue
Where to start?? I know; FUCK. In fact, that's several of the reasons that I'm here all rolled up in one unfuckingbelievably compact little word.
From the date that I made my, less than respectable, entrance into this little community, I was struck by the fact that it was like a small town. I know that I have said this before, but it bears repeating since it is pivotal to how we all get along. Unlike a big city, there is no place to run for cover in small town. Everyone knows who you are and what you had for dinner. And they talk about you all the time. There are secrets. but eventually they get out on the street.
There are three classes of people in small towns; natives (born there), locals (born elsewhere but lived there a long time and accepted by the natives) and everybody else. In Charlevoix (that's a resort town in northern Michigan where I used to own second home) a town of about 3000 people. I learned a few things that I would like to pass on to you:
1. You can say anything you want to about someone else as long as it is not hurtful, because you never know exactly who you are talking to. Because you can expect that sooner rather than later, the person that you are talking about will hear what you said about them. So, you might as well tell them what you think, directly, rather than triangulating everyone else in town into your personal problems. You can expect that whatever you say will likely be repeated. I mean, what else do people talk about in small towns??
Translated to the BB, we could all save ourselves a lot of time if we were more up front about things by using the pm's or email when we have something to say to one another. That is, unless your sense is for the dramatic and you like to stir the pot.
2. Since there are a limited number of people in small towns, its sometimes necessary to dig down deep to find the good in someone. (There was a guy in Charlevoix that sold drugs to kids, but he cooked great Bar-b-q. I would never invite him to my home but I would eat his ribs and complement him on them, when he wasn't in jail). When you are constantly finding fault in people. pretty soon you'll have no on to talk to.
3. There is a time and a place to say fuck. I rarely use the f-word in real life, anymore. I stopped about 5 years ago because I found that it helped me to better control what I said and how I presented myself. Here on the BB, however, use the f-word, as well as others that I don't use in RL. Because here I am FlaminoBlue, an enhanced version of the real me.
4. People come and go (fit in or don't) in small towns based on their willingness and need to accept and be accepted. There were many "fudgies" who come to Chalevoix each summer who only know other "fudgies" and no one else in town. (A fudgie is a pejorative for a visitor/vacationer from out of town; typically a downstater). Eventually, dr. blue and I sold our house because our needs had changed, although we had ben accepted by the natives as locals. People on the BB come and go, much the same way. Lasher left. So did Madam Pandora and other "popular" folk. So be it.
5. You can't please everyone so its best to be yourself, provided that you are willing to bear the consequences of your own actions. They say that you only have one chance to make a good first impression. That is especially true in a small town because word gets around. This doesn't mean that you always have to be on your best behavior. It only means that if you fuck up the first time around, you may not get a second chance.
Now, let's get back to the f-word. I like it, so I use it; alot. Some have found me vulgar. Imagine that? ( I even did a thread on it). I suggested that the offended parties put me on ignore. And I hope they have because I don't intentionally try to hurt anyone. f you choose to read my thread or posts, be prepared to encounter the "blue" zone. I'm sorta fond of the old bird!
blue
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