On-going challenge: Lift a Line

[SeattleRain]

On-going challenge: hommondori

Challenge:

UPDATED CRITERIA!

This thread will now be reserved for:

hommondori- HOME-MON-DOOR-EE J: the direct borrowing or taking over of a passage from an older work more or less as it was. When done in English the section is positioned under the title and poet’s name, set aside in italics with the original author’s name. It is a method of giving homage or recognition for the inspiration for a work.

1. I will lift a line from a poem * and post it here at the rate of 1 per week.

2. Post poems here for review/comment/critique (please not if you do not want a critique.) This can be done all of a sudden passion impromptu brainstorm etc if you choose of course.

3. If you choose, submit it to lit the following Monday (or whenever you want)

4. If you choose, post a line from any poet anywhere any who, you don't have to use my suggested line.

*Reason for changing criteria-- it is distracting to have italics embedded in the poem and to have the footnotes. Sure it is cool for the challenge, but if anyone wanted to go further with the poem-- outside lit-- it would be difficult to accomplish. Not everyone will be moved by the quote I select, and do not want this to be an exclusive thread.*


*Please pm me with ideas for new first lines. In order to keep some order (okay I am a control freak) I want to be the one who posts them on Mondays.


to italicize:


in threads
[ ] with an i in the middle the line here [ ] with a /i in the middle

to post to new poems it is the same as above but:

<i> the line here </i>

 

[SeattleRain]

First Challenge: invent a number for not quite yet

use the line:

invent a number for not quite yet

taken from the poem:

left alone words

by 2rivers ©


allow shifting
between long and short
show this student the mercy
your lover feels
give him an opening to die for

play with clocks not time
hold your only possessions
in one fist
as infinity held in its place
given to neck craning

what wind is hot in our single mind
is it a one thing or two or mass
your face comes in my turbulent bed
to wake me and toy and flicker needs
invent a number for not quite yet

mind please, press moist lips against
and confuse my retina never kissed till you
trap us inside your desire
barb us, cleave our will
apply the leather blinders of forwardness

press clove near wound
make us crawl the mile of your legs
invite the break of lust to rabid fever
transfer a single olive to my cavity

please, understand

2.14.04

....................

credits for inspiration:

annaswirls highlighted in the mirror will be washed thread,
Reltne Recommended in the same thread
PatCarrington already did this challenge in the passion thread ....

.......

 

[BooMerengue]

See the revision below...


I thought the challenge was to use that one line? Are we supposed to pick a different one?

 

[The Poets]

Question only. Isn't it a good idea to ask the poets (not sp, though) if it's okay to use a line from their poem? Though, most poets will be flattered to have a line from their poems used.

 

[SeattleRain]

Question only. Isn't it a good idea to ask the poets (not sp, though) if it's okay to use a line from their poem? Though, most poets will be flattered to have a line from their poems used.

Certainly, always nice (and the right thing to do) to ask and certainly I will do so. I am not certain what the legal implications are, but I know it is done all the time in poems, where a quote is used from a poet, but I always think it is a good idea to ask if possible AND to give credit where credit is due.

I think that is what we did with the other borrowed line challenge-- I do not even remember who started that one, where it is, etc.... the one where you used someone elses lines for the first and last lines in your poem? hmmm

 

[SeattleRain]

untitled

she says she has the number of her days
she lives her life accordingly
but I can't let her go
to some nameless void
someplace where she will not be here
I need to know how long
or short the days remaining
so I must find a way to know a date
a time, someway to know her end
I must invent a number for not quite yet*
and hope tomorrow never comes.


*2Rivers
Is this what you want?

absolutely! tres cool!

Just give the poet's name at the bottom or somewhere, if you would be so kind

 

[Reltne]

Question only. Isn't it a good idea to ask the poets (not sp, though) if it's okay to use a line from their poem? Though, most poets will be flattered to have a line from their poems used.

Definitely a good idea to ask (if possible - no one said it had to be from a Lit poet), but probably not a legal requirement. Short squibs are usually excepted from copyright infringement claims, particularly when acknowledgment is given.

 

[The Poets]

Definitely a good idea to ask (if possible - no one said it had to be from a Lit poet), but probably not a legal requirement. Short squibs are usually excepted from copyright infringement claims, particularly when acknowledgment is given.

I've wondered before if I've ever come up with some small phrase that's been used before, but I didn't realize it.
And I was thinking lit poets. Of course, it could be from some other site or from a famous poem. I need to think outside of the lit box.

 

[BooMerengue]

untitled

she says she has the number of her days
and so she lives her life accordingly
but nevermind; I cannot let her go
to some cold death; or to a nameless void
someplace where she will not be here for me
I need to know how long or short the days
remaining so I seek to find a way
to know a date, a time, to know her end
I must invent a number for not quite
yet* and hope tomorrow never comes.

*line borrowed from 2Rivers

Is this what you want?

I thought the challenge was to use that one line? Are we supposed to pick a different one?

 

[SeattleRain]

I've wondered before if I've ever come up with some small phrase that's been used before, but I didn't realize it.
And I was thinking lit poets. Of course, it could be from some other site or from a famous poem. I need to think outside of the lit box.

oh but the lit box is so warm and slippery, why would you ever want to leave....

 

[RhymeFairy]

Here is the Link to a submitted poem from the other, borrow a line contest.
May use as an example if needed.

Perfection By: LilDarlin

Count me in on this one.

Lickin' my pen ~

 

[SeattleRain]

untitled

she says she has the number of her days
and so she lives her life accordingly
but nevermind; I cannot let her go
to some cold death; or to a nameless void
someplace where she will not be here for me
I need to know how long or short the days
remaining so I seek to find a way
to know a date a time, to know her end
I must invent a number for not quite
yet* and hope tomorrow never comes.

*line borrowed from 2Rivers

Is this what you want?

I thought the challenge was to use that one line? Are we supposed to pick a different one?

Nope, just either use that one line, use it as the title, use it as a "pre-poem line"


ie.

My Poem

"invent a number for not quite yet" 2 Rivers

it was not the last time
she would be asked to invent an abstraction
but it may have been the first

crushing pills in bowls
washing fingertips in bowls
socks that do not quite match
compost stashed in bowls

 

[Liar]

Patiently

There is always singularity
waiting to happen, a logarithmic explosion
hiding in the shadows of meta physic alleys
listening, listening to the music you play,
renainessance man, praying you will
invent a number for not quite yet,
bring a diamond wire and selenium weld
to straighten out every wrinkle, every
epistemic Möbius loop.

What hyperthreads
will you tie noose around minds
who cling to the gorge walls
in the slipstream of progression?

What language will you speak?

Be it binary primes or hobo signs,
every heart of man will know...

You have arrived,
and words like era will finally be
charged with semantics again.

Italic line from left alone words by 2Rivers

 

[bluerains]

Preparation 2012

So here we stand
on fringes of fate
waiting for time to
invent a number for not quite yet
while Aquarian's keep rhythm
to a twelve string guitar.



Italic line from left alone words by 2Rivers

btw..Liar...I think your pen is outstanding....blue

 

[PatCarrington]

Inventing a Number for Not Quite Yet


Each time he reaches top shelf and pours
Mexico in a tumbler, the knobby shells
of La Paz clamp inside my head.
The added pressure of another Cuervo
might do it. Or two for a tighter grip,

six fingers of gold to sift my brain
for that perfect grain of sand.
Somewhere on my bleak shoreline,
it waits. And I suck down the worm.

Any day might be the day I have one
useful thought, a pearl
to thread on her bare necklace
before it’s hemp. And then

her hand can hold the shine
of that rare gem to blind her to all
the dull slugs I placed in her palm
to cross the Hudson. Small change
that only reminded her we’ll
never see Baja again. Not enough
to put a thirteen on the clock
or calendar, or even
to pass under the river
in a lonely rumble of escape.

I want her to go
away before
it happens, before
the water or noose gets
clever with numbers
and claims her as a daughter.

 

[SeattleRain]

ah says the man who says he can't get poetry out of himself!


I love your first line here... there is always singularity waiting to happen.

has such a ring of truth.

Patiently

There is always singularity
waiting to happen, a logarithmic explosion
hiding in the shadows of meta physic alleys
listening, listening to the music you play,
renainessance man, praying you will
invent a number for not quite yet,
bring a diamond wire and selenium weld
to straighten out every wrinkle, every
epistemic Möbius loop.

What hyperthreads
will you tie noose around minds
who cling to the gorge walls
in the slipstream of progression?

What language will you speak?

Be it binary primes or hobo signs,
every heart of man will know...

You have arrived,
and words like era will finally be
charged with semantics again.

Italic line from left alone words by 2Rivers

 

[Tzara]

Patiently

There is always singularity
waiting to happen, a logarithmic explosion
hiding in the shadows of meta physic alleys
listening, listening to the music you play,
renainessance man, praying you will
invent a number for not quite yet,
bring a diamond wire and selenium weld
to straighten out every wrinkle, every
epistemic Möbius loop.

What hyperthreads
will you tie noose around minds
who cling to the gorge walls
in the slipstream of progression?

What language will you speak?

Be it binary primes or hobo signs,
every heart of man will know...

You have arrived,
and words like era will finally be
charged with semantics again.

Italic line from left alone words by 2Rivers

"epistemic Möbius loop"?!

Oh, man, what a line. What an absolutely brilliant line.

I don't think I want to even try now.

 

[SeattleRain]

~oop double post with a cherry on top~​

 

[average gina]

All Almost Counted

words You have sung with pride
strands Hair curly and unkempt
laughs To make wrinkles deep
breaths Felt in your embrace
tears Dried on my pillow
I’ve counted each

smiles Beamed with joy when
petals Fallen since
raindrops Washed before
stars Gazed wondering until
I’ve taken score

I’ve tallied
days
nights
hours
minutes
when we were

but now if only
someone could
help me invent
a number for
not quite yet

Italicized line from left alone words by 2rivers.

Not there yet. My muse is with that line, but the rest of my brain has stuff to do.

Ooh! Salsa!

 

[Remec]

When?

I pick up after them
from the moment I
hit the door, their
toys and clothes--
mostly jackets and
abandoned shoes--lie
strewn throughout the
halls and along stairs
leading to the still empty
half of our room.

Soon has long since given
way to in a little while but,
so far anyways, I've not given
into whenever. But waiting has
limits and if I only had something
concrete to tell them, the days
wouldn't pass into endlessness.

maybe some day someone will invent
a number for not quite yet, and
I'll have an answer for them.


author's note: the phrase
"invent a number for not quite yet"
originated with the poet 2Rivers in
"left behind words"

 

[SeattleRain]

I've wondered before if I've ever come up with some small phrase that's been used before, but I didn't realize it.
And I was thinking lit poets. Of course, it could be from some other site or from a famous poem. I need to think outside of the lit box.

if you haven't, then it is a first! I am sure everyone has used phrases and lines heard before in fact, many people do nothing else.

it is not done intentionally, words become a part of who we are and do not feel foriegn to our tongue and pen when they are assimilated into our being.

peace

 

[Tzara]

Comrade Tzara Performs Self-Criticism

(SCENE: A large room at Party Headquarters

Straight-backed wooden chairs form a semi-circle across the stage. The chairs are all occupied by PARTY MEMBERS, dressed identically in gray slacks, gray jacket, black shoes, black socks. TZARA is seated somewhat to the right of center—i.e., left of center from his viewpoint. He is a youngish man of medium height wearing wire frame glasses, unremarkable in appearance. His clothes, apparently indistinguishable from those of his comrades, seem somehow slightly foppish. If one looks closely, his black stockings will be seen to actually be a very dark purple.

A door opens on the left and the SECRETARY enters. He is a tall, thin precise man with kindly features. His uniform is the same as that worn by all the others, but is neatly pressed and looks as if it may be made from a superior fabric.)

SECRETARY
.....Good morning, comrades!
.....Health to the State!

PARTY MEMBERS
.....Long live the Secretary
.....of our great Gray Party!

SECRETARY
.....Comrades! We suffer here today
.....a cancer in our midst. One bold
.....to tamper with the unnatural arts
.....of synecdoche and metaphor.
.....We here join with all citizens
.....whose obedience and true moral
.....compass would excise this
.....tumor from our State.

(SECRETARY pauses, clears throat)

.....Comrade Tzara!

(TZARA rises from his chair)

TZARA
...........................I am here, Secretary!

SECRETARY
.....The State, to serve the People,
.....needs loyalty and careful thought
.....from all its citizens. Fancy phrases
.....toy with meaning. You stand accused of
.....idleness and whimsy. Self-criticize!

TZARA
.....I am prepared and now discuss these charges.

(TZARA speaks with obvious emotion)

.....O, comrades, I confess. I am poet!
.....I pull words like numbers from a hat,
.....fashion them as life, add feathers
.....and wear tipped low over brow
.....or pushed back from forehead. I
.....invent a number for not quite yet
.....and frame the time of always never.
.....I sing trilling individual over
.....group's somber ostinato.
.....I dance, I caper.

(proudly)

.............................I am poet!

PARTY MEMBERS (nervously)
.....Comrade Tzara! Comrade Tzara!

TZARA
.....You need not heed my silly words,
.....comrades. They are not useful.
.....You cannot build a bridge with them
.....nor even yet a school. Still, they
.....sometimes charm the reader. The dawn,
.....as one example, I might say is lovely Eos,
.....lazy in her bed, stretching rosy arms
.....and fingers.

SECRETARY (mildly sarcastic)
......................"Sunrise" says the same.

TZARA
.....That is not so. It says more plain
.....is all. The image is banal. "Sunrise"
.....says information. The game I play is rich
.....in layered meaning, consequence. Played
.....well, is well remembered more.

SECRETARY
.....Comrades! See invidious how Tzara
.....seeks to sway staid bourgeoisie with sly
.....linguistic tricks! Language's function
.....tossed aside for playful games!

TZARA
.....I readily confess the charge!

SECRETARY (angrily)
.....O youth corrupter! Pedophile!
.....Our children's minds on duty must
.....be focused else the State will surely
.....fall.

TZARA
...........This I acknowledge. Truth
.....is not utilitarian but amusing,
.....tender, sad. Illogical at times.
.....Poet knows this and must chatter
.....anyhow. I am guilty. Lead me away.

(GUARDS appear and start to lead TZARA off stage left.)

SECRETARY
.....The People sentence you to chapbook.

TZARA
.....A heavy penalty! Obscure, nondurable.
.....But write yet can and must. My cause
.....is ever just and necessary, even if
.....ignored. Small circulation journals,
.....come! Lead me off.

(defiantly)

...............................I am poet still!

(Confusion among the PARTY MEMBERS as TZARA is escorted off the stage.)

CURTAIN

for Kenneth Koch, RIP
The line invent a number for not quite yet is from the poem left alone words by 2Rivers.

 

[champagne1982]

*invent a number for not quite yet
and I'll have to say that
tomorrow will finally come.
Yesterday is not dead and gone
but still a part of this present.

invent a number for not quite yet
and I'll still look forward
to the counting
since infinity will finally have an end
that we both can see.

Tease me no more
do this for me and let me know
that not quite yet has come
and gone and I can, finally,
strive for what's soon to be.

*from left alone words by 2Rivers

 

[Angeline]

invent a number for not quite yet,*
paste it on a line, stretch it forward
and back, then look away. Don't count
anything imagined under changing skies,
faces damp with smears of rain,
incidents of tears. Don't count sounds
but blur harmonious notes with blares
of condemnation. Make an impressionist hum
and ignore the sum of falling leaves.
Invent what can not be enumerated,
crumble it to infinite dust made gone
not by loss but absented with whim
wherein wind totals nothing. Stand
in the center of zero and bend
in the willow curve of circumstance.

*from left alone words by 2Rivers

 

[SeattleRain]

Ah this is a good one! I can relate

When?

I pick up after them
from the moment I
hit the door, their
toys and clothes--
mostly jackets and
abandoned shoes--lie
strewn throughout the
halls and along stairs
leading to the still empty
half of our room.

Soon has long since given
way to in a little while but,
so far anyways, I've not given
into whenever. But waiting has
limits and if I only had something
concrete to tell them, the days
wouldn't pass into endlessness.

maybe some day someone will invent
a number for not quite yet, and
I'll have an answer for them.


author's note: the phrase
"invent a number for not quite yet"
originated with the poet 2Rivers in
"left behind words"