On again and off again posting, but I crave feedback

[Vegur]

I tend to keep myself to myself, and despite years of reading up here, checking out forums and even posting a few stories over the last few years, I've finally come looking for real feedback, thoughts and even requests.

The vast majority of my writings so far are not novels, rather short (very much so) stories. They're all a mix of real things that have happened to me as a Dominant, alongside a healthy dose of added fantasy.
From the fairly small readership so far, the approvals and ratings have been high, but now I'd really like to branch it out, have a lot more people read and give me their feedback.

Three small notes on my writings. They are all kink based, and most feature CNC (friendly heads up). Additionally I rarely write precise descriptives of the people in the stories, this is a choice because:

a) I have literally no visual imagination
b) I want the reader to be able to insert themself into the story as much as possible.
c) They can be written from the perspective of either myself, or the woman in the story.

My most recent can be found here:
https://www.literotica.com/s/office-worker-1

 

[AG31]

I read one of your stories, and gave it a five for effectiveness of writing, even though it was not my thing. I do think you allow the reader to insert themselves. If it's their thing. You can't satisfy everyone, nor should you try.

Interesting that you have no visual imagination. Neither do I. Perhaps that's why I found your style congenial.

 

[Vegur]

I read one of your stories, and gave it a five for effectiveness of writing, even though it was not my thing. I do think you allow the reader to insert themselves. If it's their thing. You can't satisfy everyone, nor should you try.

Interesting that you have no visual imagination. Neither do I. Perhaps that's why I found your style congenial.

That is greatly appreciated, thank you.

 

[RoperTrace]

I tend to keep myself to myself, and despite years of reading up here, checking out forums and even posting a few stories over the last few years, I've finally come looking for real feedback, thoughts and even requests.

The vast majority of my writings so far are not novels, rather short (very much so) stories. They're all a mix of real things that have happened to me as a Dominant, alongside a healthy dose of added fantasy.
From the fairly small readership so far, the approvals and ratings have been high, but now I'd really like to branch it out, have a lot more people read and give me their feedback.

Three small notes on my writings. They are all kink based, and most feature CNC (friendly heads up). Additionally I rarely write precise descriptives of the people in the stories, this is a choice because:

a) I have literally no visual imagination
b) I want the reader to be able to insert themself into the story as much as possible.
c) They can be written from the perspective of either myself, or the woman in the story.

My most recent can be found here:
https://www.literotica.com/s/office-worker-1

On your notes: a)-perhaps use people you know as the visual characters in your stories, it becomes much easier then to provide a visual. I've heard that many successful commercial writers do that for people and places they've visited. After a while, your imagination can use various descriptions of different people and combine them into one character. I've done in virtually all of my stories and current WIP's.

 

[darwin1859]

TL;DR: I like maledom spanking stories, but this story was a turnoff for me, and I also didn't love the writing.

@Vegur C/NC is of interest to me, so I thought I'd love it.

I did not love it. I'm sorry; I have some negative and positive feedback.

I had some trouble reading it because some things just seemed to jump discontinuously or I was distracted by questions. I think you prefer to be super brief and that didn't work for me. You are one of the rare authors where I think you'd benefit from using more words. At least for me. I don't come to LE to study the stories carefully and perform a literary analysis, as if this were Hemmingway. As a reader, I need you to tell me a story.

You also drifted between the present and past tenses, more often using present tense. I strongly prefer that the whole story were in past tense.

Also, probably the biggest issue, the boss came across as just furiously angry, and that was a turn off. Not only was he unlikeable, the point where he mutters as she enters his office made me scared like she needed to get out her mace and spray his fucking face. (TBH I would have liked that story better.) It's not erotic if the MC is unlikable... he needs more an "alpha in charge" and less of a "serial killer" vibe. Why is he SO angry? He's not into this as a sex act? Then I'm out. My apologies if he was totally turned on in the last few paragraph. Or I failed to read between lines 13 and 14. Or there was a glance in paragraph 47 that would have totally changed my perspective. I was already starting to tune out before she was over his knee. EDIT: And I read that he fucked her. So, I guess he had an erection. So, I guess he was aroused. I was already checked out.

I did not mind that you didn't tell us how big her boobs were. You characterized her well and mentioned the key physical point: that he was physically bigger (I thought at that point would be a good point to say that he "stirred things inside her" or however you want to say she was attracted to him as a big, strong guy). I liked hearing from her POV; I think that made it easy to relate details about her emotions that added to the story. Aside from the issues above, there were no errors that were off-putting for me. Maybe you had a bunch of errors at the end when I was skimming. But I'd say aside from tonality and trying to say three things in two words, this story was well-written.