OMG my son found the vibrator!!

[T.H. Oughts]

This morning I was looking for my watch... my 9 year old son asked where I had it last.... I said in the bedroom so he went to look for it...

About 5 minutes later he came out yelling... look what I just found, what the heck is it????? It looks like a dolphin kind of, with a weird body... I love dolphins.. can I have it??????

Ok... So I grab the thing and head back to the bedroom, my husband is standing there in the kitchen pissing himself laughing...

I'm now standing in the bedroom looking out the window laughing my head off....

Mean while the son is running between us says.... Can I have it.... what is it?????

Quick thinking me said it was a stupid toy I had bought Dad for Christmas but it broke while I was wrapping it up so I wrapped it in the towel and left it under the night table to throw out, which I had forgot to do!!!!

While the son was begging his Dad that he could keep the dolphin I hid it away and then went down to the kitchen and told him it was broken and no good for anything (ya wanna bet ) and I had thrown it out in the rubbish.....

So tomorrow I am heading out to buy a lockable briefcase to hide things in. I don't think the top of the wardrobe is safe even any more....

The vibe is actually called a Blue Dolphin...

 

[fond of facials]

ROFLOL!! My daughter once came out of our bedroom swinging my gag around. Fortunetly she's too young to know what it is, she just thought it was a ball to play with.

 

[phrodeau]

BAD parent!

<spank, spank>

 

[T.H. Oughts]

ROFLOL!! My daughter once came out of our bedroom swinging my gag around. Fortunetly she's too young to know what it is, she just thought it was a ball to play with.

No gags in our house so no worry of that!!!

Teach me not to put it away as soon as I get up in the morning!!!

 

[Shadowann2]

I have a worse story but I don't think I'm allowed to post it here, due to the rule about minors!

 

[T.H. Oughts]

BAD parent!

<spank, spank>

I promise not to do it again
I promise not to do it again
I promise not to do it again
I promise not to do it again
I promise not to do it again
I promise not to do it again
I promise not to do it again
I promise not to do it again
I promise not to do it again
I promise not to do it again
I promise not to do it again
I promise not to do it again

 

[T.H. Oughts]

I have a worse story but I don't think I'm allowed to post it here, due to the rule about minors!

Did I mention how sexy your breast are????

 

[Shadowann2]

No you haven't, but thank you very much! I keep meaning to tell you that I like your butt, but for some reason I never seem to remember when you are near!

 

[Temptress_1960]

My 18 yr old son found the floggers, riding crop, and handcuffs one day when he was looking for socks in his dad's bureau.

He then asked hubby, "Dad, do you beat Mom????"

His gf poked him and said, "It's ok if your parents do things a bit differently."

How embarassing.

 

[fond of facials]

My 18 yr old son found the floggers, riding crop, and handcuffs one day when he was looking for socks in his dad's bureau.

He then asked hubby, "Dad, do you beat Mom????"

His gf poked him and said, "It's ok if your parents do things a bit differently."

How embarassing.

Yikes! I'm not sure how I'd handle that one. We have some very interesting stuff in our collection ourselves.

 

[Ham Murabi]

Coulda been worse. What if he found the egg and demanded that you scramble it.

 

[JaymesBlond007]

Ooh! Oughts! Can I have this funny smelling, hand rolled cigarette that I found!?



Didn't you ever get in trouble for not putting your toys away when you were done playing with them?

Naughty Oughty!

 

[Minkey Boodle]

That does look like a fun bath toy.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Coulda been worse. What if he found the egg and demanded that you scramble it.

I really would have been fried that time. lol

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Ooh! Oughts! Can I have this funny smelling, hand rolled cigarette that I found!?

Hey I roll my own cigarettes so it would only be the lack of filter he would notice at a glance.

 

[Sillyman]

Nothing like when they find the bong. My mom has especially pretty taste in bongs so we have to keep the little ones from playing with it.

 

[cybergirly]

I can remember helping my mother make her bed when I was about 8. She had scarves tied to all four of the bed posts (not noticable unless you had all of the bedding off) when I asked her, "why?" She said it was because she had back problems and dad had to tie her up to stretch her back out.

 

[SweetCherry]

LMAO

TH, that's exact;y the reason I don't allow my children in my bedroom unless I'm there.

 

[mig]

No gags in our house so no worry of that!!!

Teach me not to put it away as soon as I get up in the morning!!!

If it's up one assumes you had put it away.

 

[estevie]

Ohh, I've got you beat on this one, Oughts!

My hubby bought a huge and I mean huge dildo for me. I don't know what he was thinking but thats another post...anyway this thing is gargantuan. I opened it, gave him a very odd look then stuffed it in my drawer and forgot all about it UNTIL...walking into my room and seeing my 4yo slaying invisible dragons with it! Good God Almighty, what do I say???? What do I do???? I panic, rip the thing from his little grasp all the while spouting nonsense about not going thru mommy's drawers and throw the damn thing in the trash. *shaking head* I've scarred the little thing for life because he continues to ask for his 'sword'.

 

[a7yritch]

when i was a teenager, i found my moms....and borrowed it. lol

 

[Cheyenne]

Ohh, I've got you beat on this one, Oughts!

My hubby bought a huge and I mean huge dildo for me. I don't know what he was thinking but thats another post...anyway this thing is gargantuan. I opened it, gave him a very odd look then stuffed it in my drawer and forgot all about it UNTIL...walking into my room and seeing my 4yo slaying invisible dragons with it! Good God Almighty, what do I say???? What do I do???? I panic, rip the thing from his little grasp all the while spouting nonsense about not going thru mommy's drawers and throw the damn thing in the trash. *shaking head* I've scarred the little thing for life because he continues to ask for his 'sword'.

Very few things really make me LOL here, but THAT one did!
Did your son not recognize the piece of anatomy he was holding as being something faintly familiar?

 

[SINthysist]

That's the funniest fawking thing I've read in a long time!

 

[seXieleXie]

Nothing like when they find the bong. My mom has especially pretty taste in bongs so we have to keep the little ones from playing with it.

yeah, i remember saying once when i was little "how come grandpa's pipe isn't as colorful and pretty as mommy's pipe?"

 

[Belilica]

I need to get a lock for my drawer...

But anyways, here's my story....

I accidentally left my kinetic energy balls hanging from a knob on my dresser to dry after they were cleaned. My toddler came in one morning and noticed them. They were grabbed before he could play with them. He had a tantrum and it drew the house's attention. Luckily I had them hidden before anyone came in.