"Old" is when.......

[Isolde]

"Old" is when...

....your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

....your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

.....the porn you bring home is "Debby Does Dialysis.

....a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car.

.....you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

....you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

....when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

....when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

...."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

...."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

.... an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!

.......Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

 

[The_old_man]

I resemble that remark.

 

[Weevil]

Zazoo

 

[GuyJD]

When you have to take Geritol every morning and Viagra every night.

 

[Renegade]

It rocks to be young.

 

[GuyJD]

It rocks to be young.

Gee, I used to say that when I was a young lad.
Now I've become an old toad.

 

[Mensa]

Which room am I in?

You take Viagara and Ex-lax because you don't know if you're coming or going.

 

[TygerEyez]

LOL @ Mensa! I like your style!

*chuckles* Nah, you're old when you're 20, and people call you Ma'am. *shudders*

Then again, I also have people tell me I look like I'm 15 so.... *shrugs* Weirdos.

 

[Mensa]

Am I AC or DC?

OOOOHHH!!! I got a compliment from Licci~Nicci! My heart pacer nearly short-circuited.

Thanks, love!

 

[GuyJD]

Re: Which room am I in?

You take Viagara and Ex-lax because you don't know if you're coming or going.

You're eating Ex-Lax like a Hershey bar and popping Viagra like Pez.

Your memory is so gone, you are using your chocolate Ex-Lax as chocolate chips in the cookies that you're baking for your grandchildren.

You box up your house cat and give it to your grandchild as a birthday gift.

You think that Trojan condoms are part of animal balloons.

You are yelling at the weatherman on the news and saying, "Shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're talking about. Bring back Scott (formerly on the "Today Show")."

You serve as President of the United States for 8 years, trade billions of dollars worth of nuclear weapons to an enemy country, and forget all about it within months. (OOOPS, my bad. That really happened, huh?)



[Edited by GuyJD on 05-17-2001 at 05:32 AM]

 

[Andra_Jenny]

Is when you look at a teenager

and say,

I used to wear hip-hugger bell bottoms just like those!

Peace & Love

 

[indyweasel]

LOL @ Mensa! I like your style!

*chuckles* Nah, you're old when you're 20, and people call you Ma'am. *shudders*

Then again, I also have people tell me I look like I'm 15 so.... *shrugs* Weirdos.

I completly understand what you are saying maam..

 

[TinaG13]

Thank God!!

I'm young enough to find this funny! LOL

 

[indyweasel]

Re: Thank God!!

I'm young enough to find this funny! LOL

*In best creaky grandpa voice*
Come on over here you young whipper snapper and I'll take my dentures out and I'll gum ya for awhile.

 

[CW]

Re: Is when you look at a teenager

and say,

I used to wear hip-hugger bell bottoms just like those!

Peace & Love

Old is when you can remember bell bottoms being the fashion rage the first time around

 

[Ally C]

"Old" is when ...

... you start a lot of rambling sentences with "I can remember when ...", and fail to notice that nobody is interested. "Really old" is when you forget what it is you were remembering in the first place ...

 

[Ask For More]

Ally C

Did you see John Prescott's left hook? The old codger's still got it in him!

 

[TinaG13]

Re: Re: Thank God!!

I'm young enough to find this funny! LOL

*In best creaky grandpa voice*
Come on over here you young whipper snapper and I'll take my dentures out and I'll gum ya for awhile.

Hey Grandpa! That sounds like an irresistable proposition to me! *walks over to grandpa to get a nibble*

 

[CW]

Re:

... you start a lot of rambling sentences with "I can remember when ...", and fail to notice that nobody is interested. "Really old" is when you forget what it is you were remembering in the first place ...

HEY!! I resemble that remark.





You know back when I was a youngster,,,

 

[indyweasel]

Tina.. you cute little devil you.. I've got a thought to take you over my knee and spank that cute little ass of yours.

 

[Ally C]

Re: Ally C

Did you see John Prescott's left hook? The old codger's still got it in him!

Yes, I missed it at the time, but it's on the news every 5 minutes now so I got to see it. At least it provided a distraction from all that political stuff politicians keep going on about!

 

[Ask For More]

All we need now is Tony Blair and William Hague in a no holds barred cage match
Why do they pick John Prescott of all people? Please oh please somebody beat the shit out of Portillo!

 

[Ally C]

I bet the guy who threw the egg is glad it wasn't Ann Widdecombe he assaulted. She would have knocked his head off his shoulders ...

 

[Ask For More]

Even worse....she could have raped him

 

[Ally C]

That would have scrambled his eggs for sure ...