Okm another story for you all to read>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>&gt

[Renagade21]

Hello everyone and i posted another sex story . please read it and vote on it and tell me what you think her please thank you. the story is at http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=16046
and i know all about speeling and text crap, i wrote it for those who can read and love erotic stories. ok? thank you, and you may e-mail me at renagade21@eudoramail.com

 

[KillerMuffin]

I think you should pay more attention to all that speeling and text crap. You're story is nearly impossible to read because of your lack of punctuation, your lack of proper paragraphing, and you lack of grammar considerations. That would be your speeling and text crap. I didn't get past the first paragraph.

Your content and abilities to spin a fine erotic tale aren't what's holding you up here. Your imagination and ability to spice it up seem to be firmly in place. The imagination is there, but I didn't get past the first paragraph so I missed the ability to spice it up. It's your mechanics. If the words themselves get between the reader and the story, the reader isn't going to finish it no matter how hot and sexy it is.

I didn't vote for it, even though I can read erotic stories and love them, because I couldn't read yours. It gave me a headache to try to figure out who was saying what and when. It's the author's job to explain it to me, not the reader's job to figure it out enroute through a story. It's why we have grammar and punctuation. It's not to inconvenience you, the author, but so you, the author, do not inconvenience the reader.

Speeling and crap isn't, unfortunately, an option, even in smut. I would like to tell you if I liked the content and characters, but it took too much effort to piece the characters together, so I'm not able to get into the story itself. Like every other reader on the planet, I read to relax, not to make more work for myself.

 

[Renagade21]

thanx

ok i understand i will go home right now and try and i do mean try to get all the porper stuff n here then will you read it and vote for it?? DOES ANY ONE KNOW WHERE I COULD GET SOME HELP WITH IT.... sheesh, i will puncutate it and everything for y'all. more later.

 

[cymbidia]

No more story intro's here please

You should probably go post your invitation to people to read and offer feedback on your new story in the Story & Poetry Feedback forum.

The Author's Hangout isn't really for story introductions at all. There's beginning to be a really alarming tendency for people to come here to promote their new story and exhort feedback when a perfectly good forum already exists for just that reason.

This isn't that forum.

Go here (http://www.literotica.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?forumid=1) to ask for readers and/or feedback.

Any questions?

 

[nitengale]

niten's thoughts...

KM hit the nail on the head.



...as did cym.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Actually, yes I do know where you can find help. The Volunteer Editor's Program is rather unique to literotica. You can shop for one you like and email them. The list as been cleaned lately of people who don't respond. Look through the list and see what you can come up with. I would also suggest that you practice in the perfect place. Where you roleplay. Read the posts there and see which ones are easier to understand, the ones with spelling and text crap or the ones without it. Pay attention to how you write it, not just what you write, and you'll find that it will eventually come automatically. No one is born knowing grammar and spelling. No one is truly gifted with it. Some of us just like it while the rest of the world wisely thinks about it as little as possible.

You aren't an idiot. There is no need for your stories to look as if they've been written badly. The basic mechanics that you'd need aren't difficult to learn and apply. Mostly your trouble is proper paragraphing and punctuation.

Hint #1: Quotation marks. Wrap them around anything a character says. Like "Hello, sexy," Renagade said.

Hint #2: Unless the "speech" is not tagged with phrases indicating that it's speech and speaker, like Renagade said, then end in a period. If the "speech" has a tag on it and a question mark or exclamation point is not used, end in a comma. Examples: "Hello, sexy." Renagade loved redheads. And: "Are you going my way?" asked Lenny Kravitz. "No!" she yelled, "I'm going with Renagade!"

Hint #3: Paragraphing. Each new speaker gets a new paragraph.

"Hello, sexy," Renagade said.

"Hello yourself," she said, smiling. "My name is Esther."

"Esther?" What could he say about that name? "Pretty name for a sexy lady."

She laughed musically. "I hate my name."


Hint #3a: Paragraphing again. Each paragraph, like each sentence, has a subject. If the sentences in one paragraph get along well and you add another sentence that doesn't seem to be the same kind of sentence as the rest, then it should start a new paragraph.

Example: (in quotation marks because I'm quoting you.)

"I am a 22-year-old average guy. I was about 6'6", weigh about 190 lbs, have black hair, and like the color black. I lived in a small apartment, just enough space for one guy to live in. I enjoyed my life to the fullest extent possible. One day while walking to the Post Office to get some stamps, I crossed paths with a hot looking red haired lady with some sexy curves. I glanced and then took a longer second look. She tilted her head and looked back and smiled."

Correctly:

"I am a 22-year-old average guy. I was about 6'6", weigh about 190 lbs, have black hair, and like the color black. I lived in a small apartment, just enough space for one guy to live in. I enjoyed my life to the fullest extent possible.

"One day while walking to the Post Office to get some stamps, I crossed paths with a hot looking red haired lady with some sexy curves. I glanced and then took a longer second look. She tilted her head and looked back and smiled."

The first bit is about the guy and his life. The second bit is about what he did at the post office. While they flow together, they don't go together. New paragraph.

Also, see what I did with the quotation marks? If you have a character giving a really long bit of speech that requires two paragraphs you do not close the quotation marks at the end of the middle paragraphs. You only close them at the end of the speech. Readers will know that the same person is speaking without having to be told so.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Re: No more story intro's here please

You should probably go post your invitation to people to read and offer feedback on your new story in the Story & Poetry Feedback forum.

The Author's Hangout isn't really for story introductions at all. There's beginning to be a really alarming tendency for people to come here to promote their new story and exhort feedback when a perfectly good forum already exists for just that reason.

This isn't that forum.

Go here (http://www.literotica.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?forumid=1) to ask for readers and/or feedback.

Any questions?

He tried that once cym, it was ugly.

 

[Renagade21]

thanx all

thanx and i will do all that and I AM SORRY FOR POSTING HERR IF IT OFFENDS YOU SO MUCH sheesh, i apologize for posting here. thank youfor bring THAT TO MY ATTENTION!! LIKE I DIDN"T ALREADY KNOW!!!!!!!! sheesh. my bad. i am haveing a bad day. well when i get it done i will have the other on taken down and the revised edtions put up ok? thanx agian.