Samuari
Twice Blessed
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2000
- Posts
- 4,072
This was in my Email, and I know these people!
> > > Oklahoma Tourism Council Bulletin:
> > > This list of rules will be handed to each person
> > as
> > > they enter
> > > the state.
> > >
> > > 1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work
> > > before breakfast
> > > than you'll do all week at the gym. He doesn't
> > need
> > > your
> > > respect, but he sure as hell deserves it.
> > >
> > >
> > > 2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow
> > > you drive,
> > > you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a
> > > four-wheel drive
> > > because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the
> > > way.
> > >
> > >
> > > 3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were
> > > nine years
> > > old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
> > >
> > >
> > > 4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about
> > > our women
> > > will get your butt kicked...by our women.
> > >
> > >
> > > 5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod.
> > Don't
> > > cry to us
> > > if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have
> > a
> > > name for
> > > that little 13-inch trout you fish for...BAIT.
> > >
> > >
> > > 6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
> > >
> > > 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
> > > mallards are making
> > > their final approach, we will shoot it. You might
> > > hope you don't
> > > have it up to your ear at the time.
> > >
> > >
> > > 8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can
> > > buy a fifth
> > > for what you paid in the airport.
> > >
> > > 9. High School Football and Basketball are as
> > > important here as
> > > the Lakers and the Knicks...and a dang sight more
> > > fun to watch.
> > >
> > >
> > > 10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the
> > menu.
> > > Order
> > > steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's
> > > Salad and
> > > pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah,
> > we
> > > have sweet
> > > tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar
> > > and a long
> > > spoon.
> > >
> > > 11. You bring Coke into my house, it better be
> > > brown, wet, and
> > > served over ice.
> > >
> > > 12. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're
> > > real
> > > impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar
> > > combines that we
> > > drive two weeks a year.
> > >
> > > 13. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight
> > > in town. We
> > > stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's
> > > yellow.
> > >
> > > 14. Our women hunt, fish, and drive
> > trucks--because
> > > they want
> > > to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
> > >
> > > 15. Yeah, we eat catfish--carp, too--and turtle.
> > You
> > > really want
> > > sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
> >
> > >
> > > 16. They are pigs. That's what they smell like.
> > Get
> > > over it.
> > > Don't like it? Interstate 40 goes two ways-35 goes
> > > the other
> > > two. Pick one.
> > >
> > > 17. The "Opener" refers to the first day of
> > pheasant
> > > season.
> > > It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday
> > > to the first
> > > of November. You can get breakfast at the church.
> > >
> > > 18. So every person in every pickup waves. It's
> > > called being
> > > friendly. Try to understand the concept.
> > >
> > > 19. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the
> > > water hazards.
> > > It spooks the fish.
> > >
> > > Now, enjoy your visit and then go home!
> > >
> >
> > > Oklahoma Tourism Council Bulletin:
> > > This list of rules will be handed to each person
> > as
> > > they enter
> > > the state.
> > >
> > > 1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work
> > > before breakfast
> > > than you'll do all week at the gym. He doesn't
> > need
> > > your
> > > respect, but he sure as hell deserves it.
> > >
> > >
> > > 2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow
> > > you drive,
> > > you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a
> > > four-wheel drive
> > > because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the
> > > way.
> > >
> > >
> > > 3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were
> > > nine years
> > > old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
> > >
> > >
> > > 4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about
> > > our women
> > > will get your butt kicked...by our women.
> > >
> > >
> > > 5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod.
> > Don't
> > > cry to us
> > > if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have
> > a
> > > name for
> > > that little 13-inch trout you fish for...BAIT.
> > >
> > >
> > > 6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
> > >
> > > 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
> > > mallards are making
> > > their final approach, we will shoot it. You might
> > > hope you don't
> > > have it up to your ear at the time.
> > >
> > >
> > > 8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can
> > > buy a fifth
> > > for what you paid in the airport.
> > >
> > > 9. High School Football and Basketball are as
> > > important here as
> > > the Lakers and the Knicks...and a dang sight more
> > > fun to watch.
> > >
> > >
> > > 10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the
> > menu.
> > > Order
> > > steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's
> > > Salad and
> > > pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah,
> > we
> > > have sweet
> > > tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar
> > > and a long
> > > spoon.
> > >
> > > 11. You bring Coke into my house, it better be
> > > brown, wet, and
> > > served over ice.
> > >
> > > 12. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're
> > > real
> > > impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar
> > > combines that we
> > > drive two weeks a year.
> > >
> > > 13. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight
> > > in town. We
> > > stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's
> > > yellow.
> > >
> > > 14. Our women hunt, fish, and drive
> > trucks--because
> > > they want
> > > to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
> > >
> > > 15. Yeah, we eat catfish--carp, too--and turtle.
> > You
> > > really want
> > > sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
> >
> > >
> > > 16. They are pigs. That's what they smell like.
> > Get
> > > over it.
> > > Don't like it? Interstate 40 goes two ways-35 goes
> > > the other
> > > two. Pick one.
> > >
> > > 17. The "Opener" refers to the first day of
> > pheasant
> > > season.
> > > It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday
> > > to the first
> > > of November. You can get breakfast at the church.
> > >
> > > 18. So every person in every pickup waves. It's
> > > called being
> > > friendly. Try to understand the concept.
> > >
> > > 19. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the
> > > water hazards.
> > > It spooks the fish.
> > >
> > > Now, enjoy your visit and then go home!
> > >
> >
