Ok, What's Wrong With This Chapter?

[windstormy]

Why are my votes going down? It's got a hot sex scene in it. Although, I didn't finish the two charactors out with it. But why do I have to? Why does that have to be the deciding vote on a chapter or story?

I didn't finish it in order to leave the reader hangin'. I just love to do that. And to let them use their own imagination. They can't do that?

Oh, well... Welcome to the way I write. I don't always finish those. And for a good reason. There's more to a story than just the sex.

But if you guys see more that's wrong with it, I would appreciate it if you would at least say something. Tell me what you didn't like about it. What's wrong with it?

Bigrig Ch. 9

 

[athena_by_night]

Billy,

Nothing is wrong with your story! I am enjoying it immensely! Don't change the way you write for anyone......

 

[windstormy]

Billy,

Nothing is wrong with your story! I am enjoying it immensely! Don't change the way you write for anyone......

Yes, my lady....

I submit to your awesome wisdom and prowess... Thank you for recognizing such a lowly one such as myself... my dear goddess of the night....

 

[athena_by_night]

Ah, Windstormy~

You have taken me to new delights... with your reading. Keep creating fantasies and it shall all work out in the end.... you have caught my attention.

Now be a good boy and...

 

[windstormy]

Ah, Windstormy~

You have taken me to new delights... with your reading. Keep creating fantasies and it shall all work out in the end.... you have caught my attention.

Now be a good boy and...

Yes, my sweet goddess...

What is your bidding? I find myself powerless against such beauty and wisdom. So helpless and vulnerable am I....

 

[athena_by_night]

My bidding is that you create what you are meant to create. That you make yourself happy and that you strive to achieve all that you desire. My bidding is that you express yourself in all that you are and all that you do.

Now, my bidding is that you treat yourself today... however you chose and that you sinfully enjoy it. However, these fantasies must include... (put your own thought here)

 

[windstormy]

My bidding is that you create what you are meant to create. That you make yourself happy and that you strive to achieve all that you desire. My bidding is that you express yourself in all that you are and all that you do.

Now, my bidding is that you treat yourself today... however you chose and that you sinfully enjoy it. However, these fantasies must include... (put your own thought here)

If in a vain attempt to be of pleasure to you, my sweet temptress... If I should bow to the floor and reach expectantly to take your slender ankle in my hands and shower kisses upon your feet... that would only be the very least that I could do... oh, great goddess of the night

 

[athena_by_night]

Mmmmmmmm... I'd like to have you at my feet.... you would be reading your wonderful stories and I would be enjoying them...

 

[windstormy]

Mmmmmmmm... I'd like to have you at my feet.... you would be reading your wonderful stories and I would be enjoying them...

How shall I read, oh athena... when my lips are nestled, pressing lightly to your flesh.... so rich with soft and supple pliance... Do tell, my great and wise goddess....

 

[athena_by_night]

You shall read with passion. My body open to you, as if you were reading Braille. There shall be strength and conviction in your voice. There shall be sparks flying, shimmering in the room like gossamer threads waiting to settle and be reignited. All outside influences shall fade, as we get caught up in the moment. Breathless. Invigorating. Electrifying. You shall be humbled before me. And I will take what you have to offer as is my due.

 

[windstormy]

You shall read with passion. My body open to you, as if you were reading Braille. There shall be strength and conviction in your voice. There shall be sparks flying, shimmering in the room like gossamer threads waiting to settle and be reignited. All outside influences shall fade, as we get caught up in the moment. Breathless. Invigorating. Electrifying. You shall be humbled before me. And I will take what you have to offer as is my due.

I guess I should sit the 'F' down and start readin'. Before I get eletricuted.

Forgive my insolence, my dauntless beauty. I shall bow to your every whim. I am at your mercy oh great mystical goddess. And what would you like to hear first?

 

[athena_by_night]

There was no insolence in your response. If there was, you know what you would forfeit.

You may start as you have started before, with my 'slender' ankles.... your words whispered there, gaining momentum. Your lips caressing each syllable, your mouth moving over them like a lover's touch. Living them. Breathing them. They are simply part of your existence....

 

[windstormy]

There was no insolence in your response. If there was, you know what you would forfeit.

You may start as you have started before, with my 'slender' ankles.... your words whispered there, gaining momentum. Your lips caressing each syllable, your mouth moving over them like a lover's touch. Living them. Breathing them. They are simply part of your existence....

I lean to you bearly touching your skin. My lips move as I begin....

Phillipè’s lips played into a soft grin... The pliance of them touch our flesh. Yet in motion as I read on... “You like what you feel, yes?” He whispered so desperately close to his face. You shiver at the sound of my voice. So soft... So, expressed....

Swallowing hard, Nickolas nodded as much as he could for the hold the creature had on him.

"Are you pleasured my sweet goddess? Shall I read on?" I say....

“This is where you learn, Nickolas...” His ‘S’s’ seemed to go on forever reverberating in Nick’s ear softly. “You must know what pleases you before you can please another.” He seemed to barely whisper now.

As I feather my kisses over you foot, I look up from the book that I read. "Is that enough? Do you still care to hear more?" I ask hoping you will desire that I go on.

Excerpts from 'Into Darkness Born' Chapter 5​

 

[athena_by_night]

I sigh as your words melt into my skin. Their pathos evident in the scene transferring itself to my flesh. I tremble at the beauty being expressed by your mouth in so many ways. My calves are burning at your touch, my body responsive to your voice. Head thrown back, eyes close, I let your words and touch run rampant over my body.....

 

[windstormy]

I sigh as your words melt into my skin. Their pathos evident in the scene transferring itself to my flesh. I tremble at the beauty being expressed by your mouth in so many ways. My calves are burning at your touch, my body responsive to your voice. Head thrown back, eyes close, I let your words and touch run rampant over my body.....

Nick felt the fingers glide gently down his neck...

I hear your soft sigh as I go on. Feathering the expressions of my desire to your supple flesh.

They seemed to dance over his flesh playfully at best. His skin stippled as he felt the actual touch of the man. And he opened his eyes to be sure that was what he felt. Indeed, Phillipè was touching him now. The fingers moved down over his shoulder and to his chest lightly.

With expectation I hear you breathe softly. A slow gentle grin playing on my lips.

“You are aroused now, yes?” The fiend seemed to be toying with him verbally now.
“Yes...” Nick answered softly, closing his eyes once more.
“Look at me, Nickolas. Know that it is I, who touches you now.” He beckoned gently.
“Yessss.” He whisped softly, playfully hissing long. “You like this, Nickolas. Your heart is beating so very hard. I can hear it. Your blood is racing through your veins like a herd of wild stallions. You feel you can scarcely breathe. You are hard and throbbing. Aching to be touched. You have never felt such arousal before. You even fear you will come before I can touch you there. It is of no matter, Nickolas. It would not stop there.” The man’s face changed as he spoke from the gentle smile to a serious longing stare.

More excerpts from 'Into Darkness Born' Ch 5​

 

[athena_by_night]

Moans softly escaping my lips as you continue to impart your knowledge and passion against my heated flesh. Desire to hear your words instilled in my soul as you continue. I lean forward to hear your whisperings and become more captivated as you reveal your own soul.

 

[msboy8]

First: Nothing, write for yourself, not for Trolls.

Second: Are you looking for constructive comments or want to romance on this thread? If you do, you're in the wrong forum. Sorry.

 

[windstormy]

Sorry if we offended anyone. This was only meant as a conversational piece. We just got to goofin' off is all. I do apologize for any offense.

 

[Diamondbarrow]

2 possibilities:

Homophobic trolls are trying to sabotage your story, or

Some people dislike the way you write.

Either way, to hell with 'em.

 

[windstormy]

2 possibilities:

Homophobic trolls are trying to sabotage your story, or

Some people dislike the way you write.

Either way, to hell with 'em.

Now that I agree with. Thank you so very much.

 

[athena_by_night]

Ok, What's Wrong With This Story?

Ok..... just adding my apologies as well. We were being humorous and got carried away. Then again.... what's wrong with being carried away... hmmm.... doing it again.. sorry. We won't do it again.

 

[windstormy]

I am just too austere and terse, I guess... lol just a joke... c'me on... Laugh with me...

 

[msboy8]

I am just too austere and terse, I guess... lol just a joke... c'me on... Laugh with me...

OK. Ask and ye shall receive. "Hahaha!"

 

[athena_by_night]

Billy just wanted to let you all know that he is 'computerless' for the time being.... he will be up and running soon....

 

[windstormy]

IIIIIIIIIII'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaack!!! lol....