OK, I've been hiding..

[TN_Vixen]

hiding behind the bravado of being this single Mom (single mom for almost 6yrs) who doesn't need a man in her life.

And yes, the bravado is there b/c really I don't NEED a man.. but I want a man. I want a person, a partner and a lover to be there with me...

It has taken me a long time to admit this simple fact, but I do admit it.

But I can't get beyond my own horrible experience of constantly relegating myself to his needs like I did in my marriage to facilitate a relationship.

So... what? I admit that I'm selfish, that I'm needy (God, I hate that term)

.... laughing at myself.. I suppose I made my bed, eh?

ironic.

.
No matter what, I still have my son... right? I'm forever the optimist.

*blowing kisses*

 

[indyweasel]

walking the line

Walking that fine line between your wants and your partners wants is probably the hardest thing to do in a marriage. How to you do enough of what you want to feel like your needs are getting taken care of, while still not trying to feel like the center of attention so that your partner doesnt resent you...

Honestly, got me. Find someone who you can be totally honest with and accepts critism when deserved. None of us are perfect ( god, did I just type that? ) we all need to be better to others and unless we can accept critism, that will not happen.



A childs hug can heal any pain.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Re: walking the line

A childs hug can heal any pain.

100% right. I'm blessed.

thank you for that reminder weasel.

 

[indyweasel]

Re: Re: walking the line

anytime..

I get reminded about that every day I walk in from work. It is something I try very hard never to forget..

If ever need to chat yuo've got my ICQ #.

 

[Royal_Prince]

well

it didnt look like you were asking for advice SO i will just say this....

If you were hiding....you were in great company...

at some point in our lives we all hide behind something rather face something we dont want to face.

I know because I was hiding behind my career, my kids and everything else that prevented me from saying- I wanna love

Royal

http://members.aol.com/rogernprince/myhomepage/crown2.jpg

 

[TN_Vixen]

you know what spoke to me more than anything?

in the movie "As Good As It Gets" where she says to her mother.. "Maybe that's the reason why I hug my son so much, that I don't have a life outside of him"....

I cried when seeing that scene, b/c it is so true for me. I honestly feel sorry for my son since the years he's been with me since the divorce, I have.. I have been overcompensating for my lack of hugs and intimacy with him... and I wonder in the recesses of my mind whether or not he'll grow up with incest fantasies simply because I've been more close to him than I would've had I been married or had a significant other in my life.

~shaking my head.. LOL... ok, some people will read this post and think that I've been sexually overt with my son.. and that is ludicrious, totally incomprehensible to me, I'm just talking about general hugging and intimacy.. more so with a mother/son who is a single mom than average, no overstepping boundaries here. *grins at the perverted minds reading this post*

 

[indyweasel]

Re: you know what spoke to me more than anything?

I think it is impossible to show a child too much affection. I think a lack of affection at home is to blame for some of the shit that kids are doing today.

*walks away before I start down that road*

 

[TN_Vixen]

indyweasel,..

you have a point... but at the same time, extremes at both sides of the pendulum are disasterous. I'm not saying that I've given affection to the damaging end of the pendulum.. just saying that if things continue with my dependence upon him to be there for me as he always has it will end in disaster. He has to grow up and away like all children, no?

So, it's better for me to attach this expectation on a partner instead of my child.

This realization is a good thing in my opinion.

 

[indyweasel]

I see your point

Vixen,

I see what you mean. After rereading your post I comprehended what you were saying a little better. I guess that is what I get for trying to give advice after being up 40 hours straight.


btw) thanks for getting to 50 posts on my first day. How can I thank you?

 

[TN_Vixen]

indy_w?

thank me? Oh sweet thang, you already have, by listening and responding. I suppose I'm being sentimental or way too melodramatic... but it's true.. you've made me smile despite reasons I project to not do so. thank you for that.

 

[indyweasel]

then my job here is done

At least I have brought a little sunshine into someones life today. I notice you have an ICQ number, and you remind me of someone I used to talk to alot.

Does that name Crazyman ring a bell with you at all?

*after this conversation I'm going to go home and hibernate for the weekend!*

 

[TN_Vixen]

indy_w

no, sorry darlin'.. crazyman doesn't ring a bell.. but I'm appreciative of your responses and wish to talk to you more often.. sweet dreams ;-)

 

[indyweasel]

oh well..

So I've met another lovely lady from the state of TN. Darn. I am defenitly going to have to get down there sometime.

As far as my dreams go.. They will be very sweet, maybe even slighly profane

Talk to you next week.

 

[DriveSouth]

Hey, you know what won't work - that is a good starting point.