Oh, to be a low-level gov't bureaucrat and believe my public cares who I am!

[shereads]

Googling for info on lane closures, brush-fire smoke, $3 coffee and other hazards of a trip on the Florida Turnpike, I find these topics at the official website:

ABOUT US

First of all, Florida Turnpike, you're not an "us." You're an "it."

When I visited Honda's website looking for car info, they didn't treat me to an inside look at the People Behind the Scenes, appearing ever so industrious as they peer at a bank of monitors. They knew I wouldn't give a rat's eyelash. If I don't care about their organization, what makes you think I care about yours? You're a toll highway, for chrissake. Get over yourselves.

Where's the part where you tell me whether the brush fires in the Everglades have reduced driving visibility to zero? Or whether the ladies' restrooms at the Service Plazas have been cleaned since I last visited one in 2005? The one next to the Cinnabon kiosk put me off of dough-based foods for three months.

Florida's Turnpike Enterprise Organizational Chart

See above, you clueless pencil-pushers. Also: that apostrophe-s after Florida is not merely annoying; it's symptomatic of a bureaucratic power-struggle that would be laughable if I weren't paying for it. At the entrance to Coconut Grove, where the sign once said, "Coconut Grove," it now says, "Miami's Coconut Grove." Our fine zoo, which should logically be called "The Miami Zoo" is instead "Metrozoo." Because some jerk at Metropolitan Miami-Dade County was afraid the zoo-going public might mistakenly believe the zoo came under the authority of a rival bureaucracy, the city of Miami.

"Those bastards at City Hall might own Miami's Coconut Grove, but they won't get credit for Metropolitan Miami Dade's MetroZoo, damn them - not while I am Assistant Administrator of Communications!"

Florida's Turnpike System, indeed.

History

Press Room

<yawn>

Meet the Director of Florida's Turnpike System

They're joking, right?

Listen, pal. This isn't NASA during the space race and you're not directing the Apollo program.

You're a mid-level state bureaucrat who administers the agency best remembered by your South Florida constituents for having kept the toll booths operating during the mandatory evacuation before Hurricane Andrew.

Don't remind me again that your office exists.

Just tell me which lanes are closed today.

System Description and Maps

Finally. Something useful.

<click>

The Florida State Turnpike Authority was authorized by the Florida legislature and signed into law by Governor Dan McCarty as the Turnpike Authority Act on July 11, 1953. Originally designated the Sunshine State Parkway, the Turnpike was constructed in two major projects. The first project was the 110-mile route between Golden Glades and Ft. Pierce. The Parkway opened to traffic on January 25, 1957. In 1960, the Turnpike began a study for a proposed extension to Orlando. In 1961, Project II, from Ft. Pierce to Orlando was authorized.

The 61-mile section of the Parkway between Yeehaw Junction and south Orlando opened on July 17, 1963, but the section connecting Yeehaw Junction to Ft. Pierce did not open until November 22, 1963.

The final section of the Parkway, and current northern limit of the Turnpike, opened at the connection with Interstate 75 in Sumter County on July 24, 1964. Interstate 4 was not complete when the northern project was constructed; that interchange was not completed until April 18, 1967.

On June 5, 1962, a meeting was held to discuss a proposed toll road from Orlando to Cape Canaveral. That road later became SR 528, the Bee Line Expressway. The 47-mile Homestead Extension of Florida's Turnpike (HEFT) and the eight-mile Bee Line Connector were approved as the third expansion project of the Turnpike in July 1969 when the Turnpike became part of the Florida Department of Transportation. Project III was funded through the sale of $115 million in 1970 Series Bonds. In early 1973, the HEFT opened to traffic between Golden Glades and US 27 (seven miles). The remaining sections of the Homestead extension opened to traffic in stages through May 1975. Meanwhile, on July 23, 1973, the Bee Line Connector opened to traffic between the Turnpike and McCoy Air Force Base Road, and on December 15, 1973 from the Turnpike to Interstate 4.

Evolution of the Turnpike

The Turnpike was reorganized and incorporated into the newly-formed Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) in July 1969. The Turnpike’s functions became part of the FDOT pursuant to the reorganization of the State Government Act. At that time, individual FDOT Districts managed the Turnpike work program, operations and maintenance in their areas. In 1988, the Florida Legislature created the Office of Florida's Turnpike.

In 1990, the Legislature passed Senate Bill 1316, authorizing the expansion of Florida's Turnpike to include construction of non-contiguous road projects as an alternative to assist in meeting the State's backlog of needed highway facilities. The Legislature set environmental and financial feasibility standards, authorized toll increases on the existing system and allowed higher rate per mile tolls on the new projects through Chapter 339.2275(3) of the Florida Statutes. The Legislature approved expansion projects and new interchanges subject to verification of economic feasibility, determination that the projects are consistent, to the maximum extent feasible, with approved local government comprehensive plans were projects are located, and completion of a statement of the project’s significant environmental impacts. Fifty road projects were submitted for consideration and, ultimately, ten new roads were identified for possible construction, subject to meeting the feasibility requirements, and 15 new interchanges. In addition, the Turnpike purchased the Sawgrass Expressway (Toll Road 869) from the Broward County Expressway Authority.

On April 11, 2002, Governor Bush signed House Bill 261, creating Florida's Turnpike Enterprise, and directing the Turnpike to pursue innovation and best private-sector business practices, to improve cost-effectiveness and timeliness in project delivery, to increase revenues and expand its capital program, and to improve quality of service to its customers. At that time, the Office of Toll Operations, formerly a separate division of the State of Florida, was folded into the Enterprise.

Currently, more than 1.6 million motorists use the Turnpike’s system of roads every day.

The Florida’s Turnpike Enterprise five year work program (2007-2011) contains more than $5 billion in new construction projects, which including widening the mainline roadway, new interchanges and safety improvements. Blahblah blah, blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblah blahblah blah blah blah.

Nevermind.

 

[elsol]

Actually, it's a useability problem.

I had the same experience when I tried to find a listing of exits on another toll road.

I was like 'This should be front page! Right in the middle... A nice listing of exists with links to information about the exit!"

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Actually, it's a useability problem.

I had the same experience when I tried to find a listing of exits on another toll road.

I was like 'This should be front page! Right in the middle... A nice listing of exists with links to information about the exit!"

But you can get that on Google Maps or your Garmin.

 

[The_Fool]

In a commercial venture there is money, ego and power. In a government or non-profit venture there is only ego and power.

 

[Liar]

The day I feel the need to Google information on how to use a road, there has to be some catastrophic issues with the on-location accessability design.

 

[rgraham666]

Shrugs. In the soul destroying structure that makes up most of the working world people need something to reassure themselves that they aren't just a minor, unimportant cog in a great, purposeless machine.

I won't begrudge them this small effort. Much.

 

[Huckleman2000]

Shrugs. In the soul destroying structure that makes up most of the working world people need something to reassure themselves that they aren't just a minor, unimportant cog in a great, purposeless machine.

I won't begrudge them this small effort. Much.

Yup. I bet the day the website went up they all spent the whole day surfing it, and they all learned something they didn't know about their Department.

Having said that...
They kept the toll booths open during a mandatory evacuation?

Oh yeah. Governor Bush.

 

[Grushenka]

Whatthefuck is the point of this thread?

 

[Huckleman2000]

Whatthefuck is the point of this thread?

Kvetching?

 

[Edward Teach]

Nevermind.

What about the bureaucrats who create their own job security? Those sumbitches who design forms are world class.

Almost every form gets changed every year and for no apparent good reason. At least none that I can see. This year, they moved the placement of the middle initial in the first name line on the W-2 form over to the right side. Guess they can't take a chance on it getting confused with the first name, especially since those Latinos have a bunch of middle names anyhoo. They change the W-2 almost every year. Wouldn't want any business to be able to skip a year without paying a programmer before it could print its W-2s.

Edward the Besieged

 

[Huckleman2000]

Kvetching. Definitely, kvetching.