Oh, sweetie ....

[TheWritingGroup]

I imagine some Georgian mom saying that in a syrupy, amused-but-loving manner.

One story on the current New Stories first page is 7 Literotica pages long.

The entire first page has not a single line of dialogue. It's entirely omniscient third person description of how a sexy game show is set up. It's a genre I like. (I mean, I selected that story to read.) Still, thousands of words of corporate philosophy and a biography of the host ....

It's also needlessly abstract. The author says, "The defeated man raged at his loss ..." but doesn't describe a single thing he actually did or said, just that it expressed rage.

Actual dialogue appears on page 2. Something I've said about many stories (including novels from big publishers): you could cut out the entire first page of this (about 13% of the word count) and lose nothing, in fact make the story better.

 

[StillStunned]

From a quick glance at the author's portfolio, that seems fairly typical of his writing. Long stories that are light on dialogue. But his stats are impressive, and even this new story has a red H.

So presumably he's found his audience. I guess they like his style. If he's happy and they're happy, why change? Honestly, I'd be quite pleased with myself if I had his scores.

 

[Actingup]

I guess it depends on how well it’s written. Any structure could be spellbinding, or could at least be forgivable if the reader trusts the author. Les Miserables, for example, has chapter after chapter of exposition on matters of life and history, but I still remember some of that many years later. it doesn’t sound like this story is in that league though.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Are we pointing out writers now who don't meet your standard? One of the best things about the AH is that no one does that.

 

[TheLobster]

From a quick glance at the author's portfolio, that seems fairly typical of his writing. Long stories that are light on dialogue. But his stats are impressive, and even this new story has a red H.

So presumably he's found his audience. I guess they like his style. If he's happy and they're happy, why change? Honestly, I'd be quite pleased with myself if I had his scores.

He's got some comments (on older stories) complaining about long paragraphs and run-on sentences, which are honestly hard to argue with. But I wouldn't discount the work just because it doesn't conform to the 'modern' writing advice of "start with the action" and "avoid lengthy exposition."

Such advice is to be disregarded at one's own discretion, and the scores indicate this author knows when and how to do that.

 

[StillStunned]

It's another of those irregular verbs, isn't it? My readers appreciate elegant writing and subtle storytelling, your readers seem to enjoy what you write, his readers don't know better.

 

[nice90sguy]

I alway thin tha writin rule ar mad t b broke

 

[TheLobster]

I alway thin tha writin rule ar mad t b broke

You're just doing this because @StillStunned is around, aren't you?

 

[StillStunned]

You're just doing this because @StillStunned is around, aren't you?

That's alright. Beyond a certain level of bad I just slap a highlight on it and send it back. It's like the SEP field in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Someone Else's Problem is the surest form of invisibility.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

You're just doing this because @StillStunned is around, aren't you?

He's called @StillStunned, not NotImpressed.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

More than one way to skin a banana

 

[crookedletter]

I'd happily read a whole novel of dialogue-less third person omniscient exposition if it's written in a compelling way. That's arguably much harder to make compelling than vivid immediate action, dialogue, etc., which is why all the writing truisms to that effect are fed to beginners. But it can be done.

For what it's worth though, I do agree that as often as not whole chunks of beginnings -- and for that matter middles and ends, too -- could be cut from a number of stories and novels, at all levels of publishing, and the stories would be improved. Whether or not that's true of the story in question I couldn't say.

 

[StillStunned]

He's called @StillStunned, not NotImpressed.

It doesn't take much to impress me. I'm often impressed by my own wit, for example.

 

[CalBishForNow]

I think this is the link. I haven't read it and probably won't finish it at that length, my reading list is long enough as it is, but this thread is long enough that I feel like someone should.

 

[Bazzle]

Sounds like one of my stories... I hate writing dialogue.

I can write for hours on internal thoughts without a protagonist saying anything to anyone...

Hmm

 

[ElectricBlue]

From a quick glance at the author's portfolio, that seems fairly typical of his writing. Long stories that are light on dialogue. But his stats are impressive, and even this new story has a red H.

So presumably he's found his audience. I guess they like his style. If he's happy and they're happy, why change? Honestly, I'd be quite pleased with myself if I had his scores.

I'm with you on this. So what if the writer uses the same formula? If the readers like the style, and reward the stories with decent scores, then it obviously works for that writer's circle.

What's more important - the way the guy writes, or the fact that he writes at all? If I didn't write the way I write, I'd have no stories at all. Just sayin'.

 

[Baztrachian]

Tom Clancy used to write pages and pages of detail on seemingly unimportant things.

I believe it was in Debt of Honor that he devoted a chapter to the adventures of a huge tree that was felled in Oregon, blessed by Japanese priests, loaded onto a ship, and then blown off the ship by a storm.

And you're head scratching wondering WTF that was all about after reading it.

Later in the story a US nuclear sub surfaces and damn near gets destroyed when it hits the tree.

All of the actions that led to the tree and the sub meeting in the ocean suddenly being of paramount importance to the story.

My point is that the little details are often the biggest details. Writers who can tap that kind of thing have a gift.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

We seem to have this notion that good writing is what the majority of readers want. But bad writing never stopped so many of Literotica's stories from becoming popular. Just look at the most popular mainstream books, and everything will be clear.

For what it's worth, in a place like this, the important thing is that the author is having fun. And if they are the type that wants to improve, then you all should be good sports and leave some useful feedback on that story. Do your part, and the rest is up to the author.
I think we should always try to point out ways to improve for those who want to learn and get better. It will be a win-win for them and the readers who already like their work.

 

[StillStunned]

Sounds like one of my stories... I hate writing dialogue.

I can write for hours on internal thoughts without a protagonist saying anything to anyone...

Hmm

That can be a very seductive trap to fall into. I sometimes have to force myself out of the narrator's head just to make the story move forward.

 

[Bamagan]

It doesn't take much to impress me. I'm often impressed by my own wit, for example.

Only 'often'?

 

[StillStunned]

Only 'often'?

I've sometimes been left floundering in pun battles. Usually by @onehitwanda.

 

[onehitwanda]

I've sometimes been left floundering in pun battles. Usually by @onehitwanda.

This is what happens when you try to spread your wings and leave your perch. Know your plaice.

 

[StillStunned]

This is what happens when you try to spread your wings and leave your perch. Know your plaice.

Now you're just fishing for compliments.

And yes, I'm baiting you.

 

[onehitwanda]

Now you're just fishing for compliments.

And yes, I'm baiting you.

I'm well a-bream of your intentions.

 

[StillStunned]

I'm well a-bream of your intentions.

But the net result is still that you've been hooked.