Oh, Please... Cast One, I Dare Ya'

[Joe Wordsworth]

So, I go off and get on the badside of a Wiccan, yesterday (the number of prefixes to the title of "witch" are many and flowery including things like "druid" or "celtic" or "gardens" or some such). My fault, her fault, nobody's fault... doesn't really matter. Apparently, she'd been working Love Spells on me (I shit you not) amongst other things and finally, we had a talk about how I'm sorta involved with someone and yeah, we had that night together, but no... we're not going to make a thing out of it. So much for love.

So I got threatened.

With magic.

It took me repeating that to myself three or four times before I actually processed it, I got threatened with magic. I got threatened with two spells or curses or whatever. The first being a car wreck last night (which, wow, didn't happen) and the second being for something involving "unhappiness in my travels all the rest of my days in the night" or some kind of damn thing like that.

What... the... fuck?

 

[tolyk]

Huh, she must not know the 'rule' about whatever bad magics she casts, come back on her threefold.

 

[logophile]

Bad magic is bad.
She's not playing very smart.

Sorry to hear it Joe.
How was that one night, by the way?

 

[tolyk]

Bad magic is bad.
She's not playing very smart.

Sorry to hear it Joe.
How was that one night, by the way?

Was it magical? *snicker*

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Bad magic is bad.
She's not playing very smart.

Sorry to hear it Joe.
How was that one night, by the way?

Not to be too crude, but it was good. She gave excellent handjobs. And I have a thing for redheads.

 

[yui]

Was it magical? *snicker*

*snicker*

*humming Love Potion #9*

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Huh, she must not know the 'rule' about whatever bad magics she casts, come back on her threefold.

Yep....it's in the rules, you don't use it that way...she's a hack.
Take this rabbit's foot....just in case.

 

[tolyk]

Not to be too crude, but it was good. She gave excellent handjobs. And I have a thing for redheads.

Redheads..... *drool*

 

[yui]

Yep....it's in the rules, you don't use it that way...she's a hack.
Take this rabbit's foot....just in case.

*belly laughs*

 

[Dar~]

Yep....it's in the rules, you don't use it that way...she's a hack.
Take this rabbit's foot....just in case.

*waves magic wand*

I hereby release you in the name of the four corners. I love st.louis

 

[logophile]

Not to be too crude, but it was good. She gave excellent handjobs. And I have a thing for redheads.

Me too.

And you're not being crude. I asked. Intensely curious about other people's sex lives.

Could I ask you a different question, on an unrelated topic?

 

[Op_Cit]

This reminds me of a radio advertisement I heard the other night. It went something like, "Are you a bonafide psychic? Such and so are hiring for those who want to help others using your talents of divination..."

And so of course the thought that comes to mind is if the people are psychic and are looking for a job (because winning the lottery would be unethical), why does the company need to advertise? Wouldn't the psychics find them?

 

[Guest]

Joe, just an idea...
stop hanging around stonehenge booty bars...

 

[tolyk]

This reminds me of a radio advertisement I heard the other night. It went something like, "Are you a bonafide psychic? Such and so are hiring for those who want to help others using your talents of divination..."

And so of course the thought that comes to mind is if the people are psychic and are looking for a job (because winning the lottery would be unethical), why does the company need to advertise? Wouldn't the psychics find them?

Well, just to point this out.. not all psychic abilities are created equal.. Not many have anything at all to do with knowing the winning lotto numbers.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Me too.

And you're not being crude. I asked. Intensely curious about other people's sex lives.

Could I ask you a different question, on an unrelated topic?

Shoot.

 

[Just-Legal]

Okay, she is not a serious Wiccan. If she was, she would understand and practice the do no harm and no self gain principles, which names have escaped me right now...

*eyeroll* Dramaticist

 

[logophile]

Shoot.

OK...
Several days ago you posted that you were going to have horrid pixie killing sex (please forgive if I didn't get that exactly right, I don't have the post right in front of me). You had posted it before and it jumped right out at me.

I've been wondering (rather intensely) how that particular phrase came to be. What happened to move to using those words together to describe the blissful experience of being with your girl?

If it's too personal, you can politely tell me to go frig off. I've just really been thinking on that one!

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

OK...
Several days ago you posted that you were going to have horrid pixie killing sex (please forgive if I didn't get that exactly right, I don't have the post right in front of me). You had posted it before and it jumped right out at me.

I've been wondering (rather intensely) how that particular phrase came to be. What happened to move to using those words together to describe the blissful experience of being with your girl?

If it's too personal, you can politely tell me to go frig off. I've just really been thinking on that one!

One of my favorite comedians has a line about him having cyber sex with someone, and how he's typing this glorious smut... getting into detail... really working up the lather and hip rollin', lip lockin', sweet damn kinda stuff... and the response is "ooo, yeah, baby". Then he goes off about how he thinks for a minute, well, maybe I need to do better and he types some more. He's thrusting and rippling and rockin' and rollin' and he talks about how this is some erotic smut, this is hardcore smut... "pixie's are dying, this shit is so nasty"... and the response is "yeah, i like it".

So, ever since, I have sorta just adopted the idea that when you're putting effort into creating the hardest corest dirtiest thumpin' porn ever that you're dealing out "pixie-killin' sex".

We make love, that surely happens. It's gorgeous. It is a truly beautiful thing. But, we're much more likely and have a lot of fun living porno. Crude, lustful, unrealistic porno.

 

[logophile]

So, ever since, I have sorta just adopted the idea that when you're putting effort into creating the hardest corest dirtiest thumpin' porn ever that you're dealing out "pixie-killin' sex".

Fabulous. Thank you for sharing.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

One of my favorite comedians has a line about him having cyber sex with someone, and how he's typing this glorious smut... getting into detail... really working up the lather and hip rollin', lip lockin', sweet damn kinda stuff... and the response is "ooo, yeah, baby". Then he goes off about how he thinks for a minute, well, maybe I need to do better and he types some more. He's thrusting and rippling and rockin' and rollin' and he talks about how this is some erotic smut, this is hardcore smut... "pixie's are dying, this shit is so nasty"... and the response is "yeah, i like it".

So, ever since, I have sorta just adopted the idea that when you're putting effort into creating the hardest corest dirtiest thumpin' porn ever that you're dealing out "pixie-killin' sex".

We make love, that surely happens. It's gorgeous. It is a truly beautiful thing. But, we're much more likely and have a lot of fun living porno. Crude, lustful, unrealistic porno.

I'm adding that one to my notes....

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Okay, she is not a serious Wiccan. If she was, she would understand and practice the do no harm and no self gain principles, which names have escaped me right now...

*eyeroll* Dramaticist

What she said, the Wiccan close to me had a good laugh over the girl and said

What the fuck? Did the brainless twat find Wicca in the cooking section as a way to keep her brownies from burning?

But I guess that's the way it goes. Every religion has its embarrassments. Wicca has the "mystique" chasers who want to make love spells and curses, Islam has the Jihadists, Christianity has the Evangelicals. The list goes on and on.

Laugh, shrug, and try not to bang any more crazies.

And the principles might be Gardnerian principles, JL, but don't quote me I'm not Wiccan and the two wiccans I know well are more self-practicing than coven-based like Gardner.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I'm adding that one to my notes....

You do... and I'll have to kill you.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

You do... and I'll have to kill you.

I'll give you a dollar if you do.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I'll kill you with madgical spells and potions... oooOOOooooOOOooo.

There, I just casted a spell of killin' you from my magical book of magical hoodoo.

 

[CharleyH]

Jesus JOE, just get laid, who the fuck cares when you say bye in the morning ;|