Official relationship scares me

[duckmysick]

Well im new here in literotica, in my first post i expected too much because i didnt know how literotica really works but whatever.


I dont know how to start but, well since two years ago i havent had a official relationship, i dont know if my last relationship was to bad and i used to think maybe was my fault but anyway.

Since two years ago, i started to having dates with some girls but there is a moment when i get scared and i dont know how to react, i want to have a relationship but there is a voice in my head who tells me "run bitch" (not literaly) but these girls really like me and they used think the same.

I try to be a gentleman but when the relationship got serious, i leave them, i dont answer her phnecalls or messages but not having the intention to be a duchebag o something like that, its juts fear to have a commitment.

All this time i waste my time reading books, doing excercise, playing piano, learning french, hang out with some girls, but all these thing doesnt make me feel like im doing things to improve my self in have a relationship.

My friends told me that i worry to much and the problem is that i havent had sex with these girls and the only thing i need is be confident, aproach a pretty girl and having fun but thats not the problem ive had sex with those girls, the real problem is what next?

This is my situation, but maybe there someone with the same problem, please comment and have fun!

 

[SunDevilGirl]

I think this seems pretty normal...you had a bad relationship so now you're afraid to start a new one. There's no need to rush into another one until you're ready.

You said you have friends and you're having sex. If there's a voice telling you to run...keep running.

 

[subwannabe]

If you aren't ready to commit then you aren't ready to commit. I think you are trying to over analyze things.

 

[NightL]

I try to be a gentleman but when the relationship got serious, i leave them, i dont answer her phnecalls or messages but not having the intention to be a duchebag o something like that...

so how does this read to you? Keep that up and you will gain a reputation that even your friends will have an opinion on. They may even warn off potential partners. Don't "try" to be a gentleman, be one. If your "intention" is not to be a douchebag, then stop being one.

 

[LadyVer]

I'm still waiting for the OP to post his pic on his ampic thread. Talking about commitment issues. OP, I tried replying to your pm, but you hadn't enabled receiving PM's. I basically said in the pm if you want to get pics from women, that you would need to at least come up with a better name.

 

[Iceprincess12]

I want to know how well he speaks French!

 

[Bookishleigh]

I want to know how well he speaks French!

Yes, it all sounds very Christian Grey - learning french, playing piano, next up flying a plane. I mean I'm not doubting the possible truthfulness of the OP but the handle makes me question the sincerity. I just would have thought something more clever, sensual, or classy...but I am the eternal pessimist. You know me

 

[Iceprincess12]

Yes, it all sounds very Christian Grey - learning french, playing piano, next up flying a plane. I mean I'm not doubting the possible truthfulness of the OP but the handle makes me question the sincerity. I just would have thought something more clever, sensual, or classy...but I am the eternal pessimist. You know me

Oh, I didn't even care about his problem. Maybe his ego thinks all these women want more than they do, it's possible they all breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone. When he finds someone he wants to commit to...problem solved, until then he should just wham, bam thank you maam like he is

I only read the books but CG in book 1 is the only one I really like. He became domesticated and I was bored.

For the record, realists are not pessimists!!

 

[Bookishleigh]

Oh, I didn't even care about his problem. Maybe his ego thinks all these women want more than they do, it's possible they all breathed a sigh of relief when he was gone. When he finds someone he wants to commit to...problem solved, until then he should just wham, bam thank you maam like he is


For the record, realists are not pessimists!!

Very true - and he should start being honest. I think he'd be surprised that there are actually women out there who are NOT clamoring for long-term relationships. We may not want to be one-night stands, but we all don't want to be THE girlfriend either. I spent a few years myself avoiding being THE girlfriend and found men who were honest far more appealing than men who told me their plans for "our future" because they thought it's what I wanted to hear.

Lol, and thank you for calling me a realist - I agree that I am a realist; however, people seem to think that's a pessimist

 

[Iceprincess12]

Very true - and he should start being honest. I think he'd be surprised that there are actually women out there who are NOT clamoring for long-term relationships. We may not want to be one-night stands, but we all don't want to be THE girlfriend either. I spent a few years myself avoiding being THE girlfriend and found men who were honest far more appealing than men who told me their plans for "our future" because they thought it's what I wanted to hear.

Lol, and thank you for calling me a realist - I agree that I am a realist; however, people seem to think that's a pessimist

The people that don't take a minute to look deeper don't matter, they are just passing through, let them go

 

[Conager]

so how does this read to you? Keep that up and you will gain a reputation that even your friends will have an opinion on. They may even warn off potential partners. Don't "try" to be a gentleman, be one. If your "intention" is not to be a douchebag, then stop being one.

My question is what does "being a gentleman" mean to the OP? Using the small fork for the salad course? If all of the "gentlemanly" behavior is involved in the process of bedding her it doesn't seem that that would require any particular sacrifice and such activity is beneficial towards the goal. If the last gentlemanly act is opening the bedroom door for her, seems that is just basic charm and seduction and doesn't have anything to do with being a gentleman.

Implicit in his discomfiture with his own behavior is that he must be either explicitly or otherwise suggesting to these women (and maybe himself) that he is open to some sort of relationship. Given that these women are willing to fornicate with him without actually being in a relationship the prospect of a future relationship is probably not a necessary lure. People that enter into what are somewhat assumed from the beginning to be part of their string of serial monogamous relationships don't make a lot of sense to me. If you're too young to settle down why are you settling down? Why would you want to be in a relationship with anyone that you weren't eager to see in your bed in the morning?

To the OP: How about starting off a little more honest with yourself and others. Lead with "I am NOT relationship material." Granted to such a line is not catnip for every woman, but on the ones that it does happen to work with your problem is solved.

You're welcome.

 

[Felix_Jones]

Well im new here in literotica, in my first post i expected too much because i didnt know how literotica really works but whatever.


I dont know how to start but, well since two years ago i havent had a official relationship, i dont know if my last relationship was to bad and i used to think maybe was my fault but anyway.

Since two years ago, i started to having dates with some girls but there is a moment when i get scared and i dont know how to react, i want to have a relationship but there is a voice in my head who tells me "run bitch" (not literaly) but these girls really like me and they used think the same.

I try to be a gentleman but when the relationship got serious, i leave them, i dont answer her phnecalls or messages but not having the intention to be a duchebag o something like that, its juts fear to have a commitment.

All this time i waste my time reading books, doing excercise, playing piano, learning french, hang out with some girls, but all these thing doesnt make me feel like im doing things to improve my self in have a relationship.

My friends told me that i worry to much and the problem is that i havent had sex with these girls and the only thing i need is be confident, aproach a pretty girl and having fun but thats not the problem ive had sex with those girls, the real problem is what next?

This is my situation, but maybe there someone with the same problem, please comment and have fun!

Don't bother. People are boring and relationships are not worth the effort.

 

[greengamegirl]

Well im new here in literotica, in my first post i expected too much because i didnt know how literotica really works but whatever.


I dont know how to start but, well since two years ago i havent had a official relationship, i dont know if my last relationship was to bad and i used to think maybe was my fault but anyway.

Since two years ago, i started to having dates with some girls but there is a moment when i get scared and i dont know how to react, i want to have a relationship but there is a voice in my head who tells me "run bitch" (not literaly) but these girls really like me and they used think the same.

I try to be a gentleman but when the relationship got serious, i leave them, i dont answer her phnecalls or messages but not having the intention to be a duchebag o something like that, its juts fear to have a commitment.

All this time i waste my time reading books, doing excercise, playing piano, learning french, hang out with some girls, but all these thing doesnt make me feel like im doing things to improve my self in have a relationship.

My friends told me that i worry to much and the problem is that i havent had sex with these girls and the only thing i need is be confident, aproach a pretty girl and having fun but thats not the problem ive had sex with those girls, the real problem is what next?

This is my situation, but maybe there someone with the same problem, please comment and have fun!

OP's question was ignored as usual. Maybe a simplified version will help.

OP meets women+OP has sex with women+OP wonders what's next=no commitment to the women

OP wanted responses from other people who are afraid to commit.