Ode to Joy

[Guest]

On Gauche's Tulsa thread many of the moments that have been turning points in our lives have been involved with pain.

I have been meditating on this. (running gives you LOTS of time to meditate)

There have been moments of great joy in my life, but when asked to name the moments that have changed my life, those are not the ones that I immediately bring up.

MG and dr_m mentioned moments of great joy on gauche's thread. What has been your moment of greatest joy? Do you see it as also a turning point in your life?

b

 

[MathGirl]

What has been your moment of greatest joy? Do you see it as also a turning point in your life?

Dear Bridget,
My moments of greatest joy were also those which were turning points in my life. Love and college. I realize that turning points are often unfortunate and direct a life in the wrong direction. I'm fortunate that mine were positive.
Pollyannaish I'm not, though.
MG

 

[Guest]

Learning to read at 23.

I'd been reading since very young but mostly to escape life; I abused literature most selfishly.

A college professor, a gorgeously sensual Irish woman (name of Flood) showed me how English at its best works. She "gave" me Joyce, Yeats, Beckett, Wilde and Synge (all Irish by the way). I was hooked for life, on a happy profoundly exquisite high through texts. She also told but more importantly showed me I could write and was the first to tell me to stop being diffident about myself. She gave me myself (my Self to Myself).

It was a major turning point, still continues to keep me turning.

Perdita

p.s. a lovely Italian gentleman once expressed how sad it was that joy seemed so much more difficult to express than sorrow.

 

[Guest]

Hey, look at the two cleavages in the AVs above. Nice juxtaposition. Joy.

Perdita

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

The greatest joys in my life would be the birth of my kids, they were life changing and the best changes to ever happen to me. When you have children you never stop learning, you're always amazed and even my worst day can be brightened with a smile, a hug or a simple "I love you, Mommy".

Wicked

 

[Guest]

Re: Learning to read at 23.

p.s. a lovely Italian gentleman once expressed how sad it was that joy seemed so much more difficult to express than sorrow.

Perdita-

I am in agreement with your Italian gentleman. Joy- NOT happiness- is so personal and so intimate that it is difficult to describe it.

It is more than celebration. It is more than elation. It can be quiet. It ambushes you in a moment with your child sitting in your lap. It seeps into your bones as your cheek rests against your lover's chest for the first time.

b

 

[sirhugs]

who's Joy?

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Learning to read at 23.

I am in agreement with your Italian gentleman. Joy- NOT happiness- is so personal and so intimate that it is difficult to describe it.

Bridget, you are a wise, wise woman. Happiness isn't real; joy is. But one has to learn this. Please be my friend,

Perdita

p.s. the gentleman was Carlo Maria Giulini, the great conductor. At the height of his career his wife became very ill. He took off for a couple years to care for her saying that she had taken care of him, now it was his turn. Before that retirement I was privileged to see him conduct Mahler's 1st. He was the epitome of grace in gesture, stance and virility.

p.p.s must add: then there is the gift of witnessing joy in another, to see it in a man's face as he watches you (a joyous experience for me this past weekend).

 

[fiery_jack]

On Gauche's Tulsa thread many of the moments that have been turning points in our lives have been involved with pain.

I have been meditating on this. (running gives you LOTS of time to meditate)

There have been moments of great joy in my life, but when asked to name the moments that have changed my life, those are not the ones that I immediately bring up.

MG and dr_m mentioned moments of great joy on gauche's thread. What has been your moment of greatest joy? Do you see it as also a turning point in your life?

b

Well, they do say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I don't think joy would come under that catagory.

I'm optimistic that my moment of greatest joy is still to come, as i'm sure i'd remember it if it'd happened already.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Learning to read at 23.

Bridget, you are a wise, wise woman. Happiness isn't real; joy is. But one has to learn this. Please be my friend,

Perdita

p.s. the gentleman was Carlo Maria Giulini, the great conductor. At the height of his career his wife became very ill. He took off for a couple years to care for her saying that she had taken care of him, now it was his turn. Before that retirement I was privileged to see him conduct Mahler's 1st. He was the epitome of grace in gesture, stance and virility.

p.p.s must add: then there is the gift of witnessing joy in another, to see it in a man's face as he watches you (a joyous experience for me this past weekend).

Perdita-

for my new friend.

The joy that radiated from my soon-to-be husband as he waited at the end of the aisle was breath taking I wept for his beauty.

Delighting in others and being the object of that delight is truly powerful.

b

 

[Svenskaflicka]

who's Joy?

My ex.

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Unfortunately, an inordinate amount of people seem to derive joy from being miserable.

*Not you Caro mio Ben, of course....!

 

[Guest]

Unfortunately, an inordinate amount of people seem to derive joy from being miserable.

Bella, I know what you mean, but don't use the word joy. Sad souls might be 'happy' in their misery, but never joyful.

You're a bit of joy in my life, carissima. Trova

 

[OT]

What has been your moment of greatest joy? Do you see it as also a turning point in your life?
b

The birth of my son. Of course, a girl would have been fine, but I *wanted* a boy. His welcome to the world scream is etched in my ears forever -- I reveled in every decibel of it. After grinning wildly for a week, I managed to tone it down to a crooked smile for the next twenty years.

He certainly changed my life, but I don't mark the moment as a turning point. I think to be a turning point, it would have to have been something unexpected/unplanned.

 

[Dirty Slut]

I knew a Joy once...

We never really had much in common except for the sheets.

 

[fiery_jack]

Unfortunately, an inordinate amount of people seem to derive joy from being miserable.

Well maybe they should share the recipe with the world so we can all live in wonderland.

 

[fiery_jack]

Bella, I know what you mean, but don't use the word joy. Sad souls might be 'happy' in their misery, but never joyful.

One man's misery is another's reality, it all depends on your point of view.

I see no point in being happy in misery (if such a concept exists), but the idea of not looking for the good in things is just depressing.

Some people think the glass is half empty, and other that it's half full. I just think it's in need of topping up.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: I knew a Joy once...

We never really had much in common except for the sheets.

Tall, skinny, moustache, Bob Marley-fan?

 

[Dirty Slut]

I don't know if this is a turning point, but...

They just posted my first story here! Oh Joy!

DS

 

[gauchecritic]

Enought to make you miserable.

My youngest son is a quadraplegic spastic, he is fed through a tube in his stomach, he has had 2 operations to excise stomach ulcers, he has cerebral palsy, he is majorly epileptic (in minor 'status' almost all the time) yesterday he had his broken leg set in plaster (again, same leg) he has 'died' numberless times.

If this next was in a Disney film you'd walk out in disgust with firmly imbedded disbelief.

About 12 years ago whilst he was in hospital, we got a phone call that we should go there as quickly as possible. We arrived to find him laid out, sedated and intubated on oxygen (the oxy was nothing new) but his throat had collapsed and he had great difficulty in drawing breath. Just one more thing on top of lots of other things.

The consultant spoke with us the next day and explained that we had a choice to make on his behalf, either see if he could make it on his own (unlikely) or have a permanent tracheostomy.

We went outside to sit in the car. The clouds were pissing it down. Drab, grey and very wet (pathetic fallacy? I'm not making this up) My wife and I sat and discussed the situation, crying, hugging, being miserable. The consultant's opinion had been that our son had a reasonable 'quality of life' (totally different method of reaching that conclusion than anyone I've heard of before or since in any situation) and the tracheotomy op. would be a 'good' thing.

Eventually we agreed with the consultant and decided that the op. was the preferred option. At that very moment the sun quite literally burst through the clouds and made the grass green and the buildings red once more. Vindication from above. Joy. (The point at which you walk out of the movie theatre in disgust)

The lad has his 15th birthday next month. Still a fuck of a lot of hard work (mainly for my wife) but still a joy every day.

Gauche

 

[Guest]

Dear Gauche: Your consultant’s words brought to mind for me more than a moment of joy. Perhaps my telling it will fit here, beneath your extraordinary and plain eloquence.

Some 13 and more years ago my youngest brother and his wife were having difficulty getting pregnant. When they did I was so glad and excited about it, especially for the gloomy circumstances of my own life then (last divorce), I felt pregnant too. When the sac broke, seemingly for no apparent reason, my sister-in-law was forced to deliver a stillborn boy of five months. I still recall the doctor proclaiming the event a “fluke”, and saying that it had been a perfectly healthy baby but that it could not survive outside its environment. Along with that sad time I recall the devastated faces of the baby boy’s parents and a weird joy I felt knowing a child of our family who never breathed our air had been loved.

Their daughter will be twelve this September and I am her tía muy agradecida.

Purr

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Enought to make you miserable.

My youngest son is a quadraplegic

Darn you, Gauchie, that made me cry. I hate that. I don't think any of us here had any idea what you face on a daily basis. You're a hero.
MG

 

[Guest]

joy and peace

Gauche-

Thank you so very much for sharing your son and your joy with us.

You captured the essence of joy so beautifully.

b

 

[Dirty Slut]

I too was brought to tears...

You make my own life feel as if I were a soap bubble looking out at the real world gauchecritic. God bless you and your family.

DS

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

Gauche,
Thank you for sharing your story. I was very moved by it. I haven't spent much time on here as of late because of personal problems and have been sitting around moping and feeling sorry for myself. Half way through your post I thought to myself...How dare I sit in self pitty over my petty problems when you and others like you have more serious situations to deal with on a daily basis. Bless you and your family and thank you for sharing.

Wicked