Obama, news

[Pure]

In Latest Compromise With GOP, Obama Agrees He Is a Muslim

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) -- In his latest effort to find common ground with Republicans in Congress, President Barack Obama said today that he was willing to agree that he is a Muslim.

Differences over his religious orientation have been a sore point between the president and his Republican foes for the past two years, but in agreeing that he is a Muslim, Mr. Obama is sending a clear signal that he is trying to find consensus.

"The American people do not want to see us fighting in Washington," Mr. Obama told reporters at the White House. "They want to see us working together to improve their lives, and Allah willing, we will."

But Mr. Obama's willingness to back down on his claim of being a Christian does not seem to have satisfied his Republican opposition, as GOP leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) today insisted that the President must also agree that he was born in Kenya.

 

[TxRad]

Don't you just love crap

 

[sr71plt]

Don't you just love crap

Borowitz's or Pure's?

 

[Boxlicker101]

Maybe he can get a package deal. He concedes he was a Muslim and born in Kenya, and Sarah Palin owns up that the child claimed to be her youngest is actually the child of Bristol Palin, and W admits to 9-11 being a government conspiracy.

What other crackpot theories can pols admit to?

 

[TxRad]

Borowitz's or Pure's?

How about both.

 

[Katyusha]

Too bad The Onion didn't get to it first...

 

[Darkniciad]

And here I thought that I'd already seen the most pointless political-themed threads. Way to up the ante.

It's a good thing you're not a moderator abusing your un-ignorable profile to make sure your post flotsam is visible to everyone, regardless of whether you have any authority over the forum section or not.

Oh, wait...

 

[SeaCat]

In Latest Compromise With GOP, Obama Agrees He Is a Muslim

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) -- In his latest effort to find common ground with Republicans in Congress, President Barack Obama said today that he was willing to agree that he is a Muslim.

Differences over his religious orientation have been a sore point between the president and his Republican foes for the past two years, but in agreeing that he is a Muslim, Mr. Obama is sending a clear signal that he is trying to find consensus.

"The American people do not want to see us fighting in Washington," Mr. Obama told reporters at the White House. "They want to see us working together to improve their lives, and Allah willing, we will."

But Mr. Obama's willingness to back down on his claim of being a Christian does not seem to have satisfied his Republican opposition, as GOP leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) today insisted that the President must also agree that he was born in Kenya.

Thanks Pure,

I needed the chuckle.

Cat

 

[R. Richard]

What other crackpot theories can pols admit to?

Well, one that they have been trying to sell us for some time is, "We're from the government and we're here to help."

 

[Boxlicker101]

Well, one that they have been trying to sell us for some time is, "We're from the government and we're here to help."

I think some of them actually believe that.

 

[sr71plt]

Well, one that they have been trying to sell us for some time is, "We're from the government and we're here to help."

What I haven't heard you or any of your yokel friends say is, "I'm here to do all of those things for you that the government did for you before you decided to go it alone and pay for and do it all yourself."

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

Maybe he can get a package deal. He concedes he was a Muslim and born in Kenya, and Sarah Palin owns up that the child claimed to be her youngest is actually the child of Bristol Palin, and W admits to 9-11 being a government conspiracy.

What other crackpot theories can pols admit to?

How about Obama being the shooter on the grassy knoll in Dallis in '62.

For all of those who may take this shit seriously it is I am just kidding. I really don't need the hate mail.

 

[JackLuis]

How about Obama being the shooter on the grassy knoll in Dallis in '62.

For all of those who may take this shit seriously it is I am just kidding. I really don't need the hate mail.

Nov 22 1963, If Obama was there in '62 he'd be too early.

 

[sr71plt]

Nov 22 1963, If Obama was there in '62 he'd be too early.

It was a long stakeout.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Nov 22 1963, If Obama was there in '62 he'd be too early.

Of course, had he been there in '62, he would have been one year old. No big deal. Little details like that never deter a true conspiracy nut.

 

[sr71plt]

Of course, had he been there in '62, he would have been one year old. No big deal. Little details like that never deter a true conspiracy nut.

Only one year old? Are you sure? Have we seen his real birth certificate?

 

[Boxlicker101]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxlicker101
Of course, had he been there in '62, he would have been one year old. No big deal. Little details like that never deter a true conspiracy nut.

Only one year old? Are you sure? Have we seen his real birth certificate?

No. Since it's probably written in Swahili or something, I wouldn't be able to read it anyhow.

 

[JackLuis]

Mr. President, you're using the wrong word:

com·pro·mise
   /ˈkɒmprəˌmaɪz/ Show Spelled [kom-pruh-mahyz] Show IPA noun, verb, -mised, -mis·ing.
–noun
1.
a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.

I believe you should have used:

ca·pit·u·la·tion
   /kəˌpɪtʃəˈleɪʃən/ Show Spelled[kuh-pich-uh-ley-shuhn] Show IPA
–noun
1.
the act of capitulating.
2.
the document containing the terms of a surrender.

English is tricky.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Mr. President, you're using the wrong word:

Quote:
com·pro·mise
   /ˈkɒmprəˌmaɪz/ Show Spelled [kom-pruh-mahyz] Show IPA noun, verb, -mised, -mis·ing.
–noun
1.
a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.

I believe you should have used:

Quote:
ca·pit·u·la·tion
   /kəˌpɪtʃəˈleɪʃən/ Show Spelled[kuh-pich-uh-ley-shuhn] Show IPA
–noun
1.
the act of capitulating.
2.
the document containing the terms of a surrender.


English is tricky.

The Big O and the Dems did get something out of it - an extension of unemployment benefits for another 13 months. I doubt he could have done any better. The Reps could have delayed action on that until next year, and then defeated it when the new House members came into office.

I have heard "compromise" described as an agreement nobody likes, and that seems to be a good description, especially among the idealogues of both parties. The Reps don't like extending unemployment and the Dems don't like extending the Bush tax reductions.

I think it'll get through Congress, though.

 

[R. Richard]

What I haven't heard you or any of your yokel friends say is, "I'm here to do all of those things for you that the government did for you before you decided to go it alone and pay for and do it all yourself."

Sr71plt, when the government, 'does it,' we all PAY FOR IT OURSELVES! The government, any government, spends only money that they receive from US.

In my local area, we pay for fire protection. The local government, however, is closing fire stations, so we get less protection, for the same money.
Local road repair, for which we pay, is a joke. Many local streets or roads look like the surface of the moon. They put a road contractor in jail, for which we pay. I wanted his family to sell it on the street, to pay for his fraud. Local government isn't interested in earning a bit of money, just in spending it.
The scumbags are a very bad, very expensive joke. Local criminals laugh at them. They are still trying to execute a killer, after 12 years. There's no doubt about his guilt, he confessed. However, any number of local shysters are fighting tooth and nail to force the taxpayers to keep supporting killer boy.
City snow clearance is slow and unreliable. If you live in Mex town, it's non-existent.
Some time back, we had skinheads stealing moptorcycles and running chop shops. The local scumbags just couldn't cope, probably too busy pimping their mothers. I managed to get serial numbers off of bikes in a skinhead shop. Somehow, the 'Motor Mongols' found out that at least one of their missing bikes was in a skinhead shop. We have no more skinhead chop shops in town. No thanks to the scumbags.
The county wanted to close libraries. (I doubt that most of the politicians can read.) We, the citizens managed to raise enough money to prevent that.
Then we have the local schools, unfortunately. Admittedly, some of the graduates can read and write, but less than half of those who enter school graduate from high school. However, the public schools do serve a purpose. You can buy weed in any public school parking lot and they're now upgrading to heroin.
There are those in my local area who are quite capable of solving at least many of the problems that we have. However, the city, county, state and federal governments are willing to spend tax money to see that we don't solve the problems.

 

[Guest]

*deleted*

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I just researched a story about our old COUNTY HOME circa 1928-1971.

It was situated on a 300 acre farm operated by county prisoners. The HOME generally cared for 83 old people dumped on the county by family after the money was gone or the geezers required too much care to remain with family. MDs bid on contracts to treat the old folks. The county employed social workers and nurses to manage the residents.

Generally speaking, the farm provided almost all the food the residents required plus enough surplus to make the farm profitable.

But the state supreme court couldnt stand it. Convict labor! Oh! My! No FDA inspectors on staff! Good Heavens! The county agriculture agent ran the farm and evaluated the meat, dairy, and veggies in his professional capacity.

At the end the county bought all the food from commercial distributors, usually for more than it cost at grocery stores, and the residents were placed in for profit nursing homes when Medicare came to life in the 60s. About 80% of them immediately died.

 

[sr71plt]

Sr71plt, when the government, 'does it,' we all PAY FOR IT OURSELVES! The government, any government, spends only money that they receive from US.

Yes, knucklehead, but when you pay for it individually, it costs you much more money and you couldn't possibly handle the work required in getting all of those services put in motion and completed by yourself (the marvelous benefits of efficiencies of scale).

We've been over this a thusand times.

Try using your brain for just a minute.

As I' posted before, go to the end of your driveway and contemplate what you'd have to do on your own initiative and with your own money to connect from there to the nearest highway (and then get the highway built on your own). And that's just one basic service.

Or go to your nearest national border--and now contemplate what you are going to do all by yourself to stem an invasion from any direction down the border as far as you can see. Oh, that's right, you were busy trying to get that road to the border paved all by yourself.

You couldn't possibly be so stupid that you can't figure this out on your own. But, then again . . .

On the other hand, it may be that you are hoping that others will be stupid enough to let you be a deadbeat and will be willing to carry your sorry ass.

 

[R. Richard]

Sr71plt, I grow tired of your down the nose crap.

I owned some rural property. The county decided that no more services would be provided along dirt roads, due to budgetary concerns. Thus, I had to get the road in front of my properties paved, NOW! Since I don't have your endless faith in government, I contacted, 'Pablo's Paving.'

Pablo had been in business for over ten years and had an experienced crew.

Pablo would arrange for the grading out of the dirt road in front of several properties, see to the application of an aggregate base, compact the base, lay asphalt, with attention to drainage, seal the asphalt and finish the job in very short order.

The next day was Saturday. Capataz showed up with a crew of, ah, Lithuanians. The little brown Lithuanians worked from early morning until sunset. They worked from sunrise to sunset Sunday. They then worked when needed until Pablo finished the job.

Pablo arrived at the road site Monday. He had a crew and what I found out was top quality asphalt. Pablo and his skilled workers laid the asphalt, while Capataz and his Lithuanians continued to do the hard labor.

In short order, Capataz and his men had the hard labor done and Pablo and his men had the skill work done. (I had been paying Capataz and his men, at the end of each day. I paid Pablo an initial fee and then the balance when his men finished the job. Note, I and the rest of the property owners paid for the job ourselves. The value of our lots then more than doubled. I sold my properties and some of the other people got bank loans, since their property was quite a bit more valuable.) I then got maintenance instructions from Pablo and a guarantee!

Is what I did sustainable? Well USA agriculture has been run on the same basis as the hard labor work for the last 50 years or so. The skill work done by Pablo and his men is interesting, because they're non-union. Government road work is always done by union people. The reason is that, way back when, contractors were bringing in Negro workers from the South and outbidding contractors who were using local labor. The contractors using local labor then unionized, excluding Negroes, and got the politicians to go along with union labor only. It's interesting that the first Negro President chooses to follow a discriminatory path.

Those trusting souls who waited for the government to pave their rural roads were still waiting. Their properties then couldn't be developed or sold for any kind of money, since the county wouldn't provide any kind of services.

By the way, smart boy, the county uses very expensive union labor to pave roads. The Lithuanians weren't union and got paid a lot less than union scale. They also worked harder. (I then paid Capataz and his boys a bonus at the end of the job. Not too bad for a deadbeat.)

The county inspection boy came by and told me he had seen Pablo's trucks at the work site. “Pablo does damn good work. However, who did the base work?”

“Ah, a Lithuanian crew. Hard workers.”

Damn good thing, if it had been Mexicans, I woulda hadda call la Migra.”

As to the border, try reading Pirates of The Keys and Bondage House. There's a fictional character, in each story, named 'Captain 30.' Actually 'Captain 30' isn't a fictional character. I became acquainted with him back when I flew with the wild geese. He and I think alike, even more so than twins. He and I are the only two civilized people that I'm aware of who have solved what military people call the 10% problem.

If I had to stem an invasion from across one of our national borders, I would only need a bit of time to recruit the troops I would need. The invasion forces couldn't realistically use tanks, aircraft or artillery, as the foreign governments wouldn't stand by and just let them, well maybe a few tanks, but only to the South. A few shoulder fired anti-tank rockets would take care of amateur operated tanks. My troops would take care of the rest of the problem. By the way, the USA government refers to a class of people, captured in battle, as 'enemy combatants' or 'prisoners.' When I run a military operation, the same class of people are referred to as slaves. Prisoners cost money to keep. Slaves can be sold at a profit. Perhaps for that last reason, governments don't like me to run military operations. (The United Nations stands quiet as slaves are bought and sold in Africa. In fact, UN personnel have forced young girls into sexual slavery, in order that the young girls could earn enough to buy food. It's okay for the UN, but not for R. Richard.)

As you may be aware Wimpobama and Janet Napolitano have abandoned parts of the USA border with Mexico to drug gangs, never mind an invading regular army. But, then again, maybe they'll sanction the drug gangs. Your faith in the government appears to be misplaced. Then again, maybe you're so busy insulting people that you don't have time to read the newspapers.

 

[sr71plt]

Sr71plt, I grow tired of your down the nose crap.

Guess you'll just have to continue being bitter, angry, irrelevant . . . and stupid then.