Nuclear response to open marriage suggestion

Slamnuke

Virgin
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Feb 12, 2021
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I’ve read a lot of stories where the wife suggests to the husband that she wants an open marriage and inevitably in every single story the husband sits back and takes it and does nothing immediately. He either learns to live with it in cuckold stories or he plans his revenge in a BTB story.

For whatever reason, you never ever see stories where a husband gets physical with his wife despite domestic violence being very common. My point is that there are a lot of men who would immediately grab their spouse by the throat, potentially pick them up, and speak to them in very calm manner about their thoughts of the idea. However, the response doesn’t have to be immediately violent it just should be incredibly physically intimidating to remind the wife of the vast strength differential between men and women. Basically, she should be in terror of her husband’s response.

Of course this all goes back to another serious problem I have with virtually every Loving Wife storyline. The husband caters to his wife’s every whim and has no backbone of his own until she screws him over. Where are the men who behave like men? Why do authors always write husbands as basically servants? Women are not and have never been attracted to man who never tells them no or gives them whatever they want. In real life women like their husbands to be an asshole part of the time and to have a dominant personality, no woman is attracted to a doormat, which is what every husband is in almost every Loving Wife story no matter if it’s a cuckold story or a BTB one. I read these stories and my first thought is immediately, this guy is a fucking pansy no wonder she gave up and cheated on him or cuckolded him.

Just once I would like to see a story where the woman immediately realizes her mistake, yet it causes a metamorphosis in the husband’s behavior. He goes from the typical Loving Wives’ husband to a real world man who is a throwback to a man from the 1950s or before. That is a man who says this is how it’s going to be in the house and she can deal with it. Essentially he would be telling her that if she wants to act like a child then he will treat her like one and punish her accordingly.

The most prescient example of this is “Becoming Mrs. Pleasure” by RichardGerald. Granted the husband is an absolute broken person himself even before the relationship but his response is a nuclear level physical response. You rarely see these types of stories and I wish there was more of them.
 
Did you write every single comment on every Loving Wives story that I've submitted? Because you sound just like all of them.

You want a story like that? Write one! It's free.
 
Did you write every single comment on every Loving Wives story that I've submitted? Because you sound just like all of them.

You want a story like that? Write one! It's free.

I have no writing talent, at all. I can write technical papers 100 pages long but can’t do creative writing. Artistic talent is simply not my forte.

As for the comments, I have not made too many of them here. These are just things that immensely annoy me. The husband is portrayed as this great guy but doormats are really just lazy men. No woman warns a servant for a husband and that’s what these guys always are, even if the author writes them as a giant, rugged mountain man who is 6’5”, 260 lbs.

Does anyone know of any stories where the husband either isn’t a doormat or reverts to a very old school behavior towards his wife immediately when he catches her? I’ve searched around but barely any of these seem to exist.
 
Try doing a search in Loving Wives for BTB or Burn the Bitch.

Almost all men in BTB stories are doormats in the marriage. They then play the martyr for some unknown reason and “refuse to break their vows” so that the author can write them as the righteous one. In real life it almost never works like this and men absolutely do get extremely violent at times to spouses in these scenarios or they decide their marriage isn’t worth shit and do what they want.

If it was this easy, I would have already found them. These searches don’t have anything like this or at least it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
 
Non-consensual violence, especially of the domestic violence, will not fly on Lit.

I am sorry for your troubled soul. I suggest that you find help elsewhere.
 
Almost all men in BTB stories are doormats in the marriage. They then play the martyr for some unknown reason and “refuse to break their vows” so that the author can write them as the righteous one. In real life it almost never works like this and men absolutely do get extremely violent at times to spouses in these scenarios or they decide their marriage isn’t worth shit and do what they want.

If it was this easy, I would have already found them. These searches don’t have anything like this or at least it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

You must be talking about the Reconciliation At All Cost stories. None of my BTB stories have the guy being a wimp and even my RAAC stories he's not a wimp.

As for the search...

You have to use the advanced search feature. Click on the gear symbol and enter BTB in the search area, then select Search Tags in the Search Only drops down.

Here is a few I got from that search...

Cuck: A Voyeuristic Cuckold
Watching your wife being fucked by another man.
by luedon
Loving Wives 12/16/2020
3.4344.3k233730

Everything's Good
Never give up hope of putting things right - a BTB tale.
by MichaelFitzgerald
Loving Wives 07/30/2019
3.6954.3k353941

The Loving Wife
My take on the BTB category.
by stormbreyer
Loving Wives 09/17/2015
3.9476.3k3610445

Shannon West Burns the Bastard, BTB
Her Husband Never Saw It Coming
by Odiouser
Loving Wives 03/09/2021
3.5216.7k171830

The Long, Broken Road
Rising from the ashes of a failed BTB attempt.
by Azpiri
Loving Wives 07/07/2016
4.35126.3k172180195
A Simple Man

Catches wife cheating and makes a new life. BTB.
by GTO_Racer
Loving Wives 03/22/2020
H4.594.1k11155133

Long Drive Home
Vet gets BTB revenge on cheating wife.
by DFWBeast
Loving Wives 03/08/2013
4.42348.1k230334252

Onslaught
Will she destroy our marriage or will I destroy her first.
by Vandemonium1
Loving Wives 11/10/2015
H4.52196.1k198209217

Karma Never Sleeps
Another odd but effective BTB.
by Tiberius_Daniel
Loving Wives 07/20/2019
036.1k19024

Perfect for Each Other
When two people are a matched pair...
by Ringil
Loving Wives 07/30/2020
4.4527.6k426552

24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 01
24 hrs-Dumb Decisions and Smart Phones.
by wieliczka
Loving Wives 05/02/2015
4.3691.5k706780

BTB, Incorporated
P.I. investigates client's cheating wife, with a twist.
by SimonDoom
Loving Wives 01/02/2017
3.7562.1k344339

Cheat-ify The Bitch
Ain't Technology Wonderful?
by gordo12
Loving Wives 02/18/2019
4.1262.4k438450

Read My Lips
Flash BTB.
by Skippy47
Loving Wives 11/28/2020
4.3837.8k646577

The Other Woman
Awaited his murder trial results.
by Skippy47
Loving Wives 03/09/2021
4.4422.9k598175

I Can't Hear You
What? (He's almost deaf but not dumb.)
by Hypoxia
Loving Wives 11/03/2014
4.1680.6k367741

The Harpy
The good ones are all a little crazy, aren't they?
by Todd172
Loving Wives 08/15/2016
H4.74146.9k331232361

Looking Up
A wimp husband gets some help from a demon.
by Ahazura
Loving Wives 10/16/2017
4.3965.4k675673
 
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BTB isn't my thing (see my post for details). One story that I wrote -- in my Rongai Valley series under a different pen-name -- that was often included in the BTB listings is at heart a sister-brother (S and B) sibcest where an ex-pat society is very prim, proper, and -- in public discourse -- very restrictive.

Both B and wife (W) are dishonest in their marriage with one another. B desires S -- who platonically loves B -- but B cannot act on those feelings due to societal norms. W's family is of a social station beneath B's. W married for B's money and social status but kept a working class lover (L).

S schemes against W and in so doing discovers that W and L were scheming against B. S turns tables on W and kills her leaving behind the "evidence" that W had created and intended to leave behind implicating one of B's trusted servants -- someone who privately disliked W -- as B's killer.

The constabulary, being rather lazy but not particularly stupid, figure out that L was scheming to kill in concert with W. But in fact L killed W -- either in a rage or by accident -- when most of the evidence of the crime pointed to the murder of B, a man still very much alive.

The resulting notoriety of the scandal allows S to very publicly support and be seen with B in place of W. This permitted S ample opportunity to privately pursue and woo B.

The Rongai Valley series was mostly Group Sex stories, a couple of the later ones were placed in BDSM and Fetish which actually slightly boosted readership -- I'm guessing that those who read the earlier stories in Group managed to find the later ones -- and the new ones picked up few readers in the "new" categories.

IT wasn't the trump category it is now. Having this story being placed in LW was eye opening. I had written "group sex stories where the MCs are married to each other" which were submitted to Group but published in LW. Those didn't receive tons of hatred. I guess they were seen for what they were.

This story received tons of venom by people who apparently didn't read the story. The MCs were people with money and time on their hands. Neither the B nor the W were sexually exclusive with the other. W's betrayal wasn't sexual in nature. B was unaware of W's betrayal. S acted on her own accord, to protect B ... Certainly ... But she could have turned W in to the Bobbies. In the end S's choice furthered her own desires.
 
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LW has a handful of major complications amongst its readership, and an appreciation for nuance is one of them. There are hair-trigger responses to anything within 10k of cuckoldery (basically, almost any 'hotwife' story) and reactions are typically vicious and polarised.

Some readers appreciated my treatment of the husband in the final chapter of Suzanne's Supreme Night of Poker series (which I intended to be an amusing twist on the tired 'poker night' trope) but most did not, and the commentary was predictable.

It is a real challenge to write human-husband qualities in that category, you almost can't win.
 
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Open marriage (or BDSM, or a three-way, or missionary position once a week in the dark under the blanket with the bedroom door locked) is not everyone's cup of tea. (Tea isn't everyone's cup of coffee either.) But the men who have non-monogamous relationships with a primary lover are not wimps.

There are many, many forms of non-monogamy. What is being "righteous?" Were the patriarchs in the Bible "righteous?" Many -- most of the significant ones? -- were polygamists. Polygamy is a form of non-monogamy.

What is a "real man?" Were the breakers, cowboys, and the caballeros "real men?" They lived, like the miners of the Western Australian desert, in a society with far more men than women. Women were shared among men, that was a form of non-monogamy.

I was in non-monogamous relationships in college. When I met the man that I would spend 35 very happy non-monotonous, oops, non-monogamous years with, he told me that he would always "look at other women and wonder."

Duh, he had two ex-wives (and two ex-live-in-girlfriends that I knew of).

To us being faithful meant complete honesty. We were primary to one another. That isn't the way everybody sees non-monogamy, but it's not uncommon either. For 30 plus years he decided whom I fucked. It was a game, a gift that I gave him. That didn't make him a wimp. He was always at the top of his own list. Again, not the only way, but not completely uncommon.

Oh, and it was a lifetime of fun for all of us.



Finally, the mental image of a 90 kilo 1,80 m tall man beating a 55 kilo 1,60 m tall woman is just not sexy. It's not a contest. It's a light heavyweight defeating a bantamweight. Nobody subscribes to pay-per-view to see that.
 
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I have no writing talent, at all. I can write technical papers 100 pages long but can’t do creative writing. Artistic talent is simply not my forte.

As for the comments, I have not made too many of them here. These are just things that immensely annoy me. The husband is portrayed as this great guy but doormats are really just lazy men. No woman warns a servant for a husband and that’s what these guys always are, even if the author writes them as a giant, rugged mountain man who is 6’5”, 260 lbs.

Does anyone know of any stories where the husband either isn’t a doormat or reverts to a very old school behavior towards his wife immediately when he catches her? I’ve searched around but barely any of these seem to exist.

No women want this? Okay, lol. You may want to venture over to the BDSM forum where you may learn a thing or two.

People don’t all want the same thing. Just because something isn’t your cup of tea, doesn’t mean others don’t want exactly that tea.
 
OP: Read the highest-scored LW stories and see if men are wimpy doormats.
 
I’ve read a lot of stories where the wife suggests to the husband that she wants an open marriage and inevitably in every single story the husband sits back and takes it and does nothing immediately. He either learns to live with it in cuckold stories or he plans his revenge in a BTB story.

Above quote truncated for space considerations...

Just about every erotic story or porn movie could be prefaced with the words, "Things that will never happen to you in real life, so enjoy the following"....so trying to find a real-life story in a sea of erotica is going to be a serious challenge.

I have an interest in cuckolding, but that is about controlling hurt...or controlling the situation on a deeper level, so stories are going to reflect that because that is the underlying reason why a man wants to share his wife. That kind of personality type is not the "fight kind of guy", and not the type to write a loving wives cuckold story!

I am hoping you inadvertently used the wrong word because "violence" is kind of disturbing to me. My wife enjoys rough sex, but here is the thing: I love her so I would NEVER hurt her, but I have spanked her bottom before, and a few other things, but I did it because I LOVE her. In that I took visual clues from her, noted her mannerisms, and yes tested to sex to make sure she was very turn-on first

If a person feels the need to assert themselves any other way, then they should seek therapy before lives are ruined, including their own.

But if you are looking for a fun movie on this theme check out the movie McClintock, because that has what you are looking for.
 
I’ve read a lot of stories where the wife suggests to the husband that she wants an open marriage and inevitably in every single story the husband sits back and takes it and does nothing immediately. He either learns to live with it in cuckold stories or he plans his revenge in a BTB story.

For whatever reason, you never ever see stories where a husband gets physical with his wife despite domestic violence being very common. My point is that there are a lot of men who would immediately grab their spouse by the throat, potentially pick them up, and speak to them in very calm manner about their thoughts of the idea. However, the response doesn’t have to be immediately violent it just should be incredibly physically intimidating to remind the wife of the vast strength differential between men and women. Basically, she should be in terror of her husband’s response.

Of course this all goes back to another serious problem I have with virtually every Loving Wife storyline. The husband caters to his wife’s every whim and has no backbone of his own until she screws him over. Where are the men who behave like men? Why do authors always write husbands as basically servants? Women are not and have never been attracted to man who never tells them no or gives them whatever they want. In real life women like their husbands to be an asshole part of the time and to have a dominant personality, no woman is attracted to a doormat, which is what every husband is in almost every Loving Wife story no matter if it’s a cuckold story or a BTB one. I read these stories and my first thought is immediately, this guy is a fucking pansy no wonder she gave up and cheated on him or cuckolded him.

Just once I would like to see a story where the woman immediately realizes her mistake, yet it causes a metamorphosis in the husband’s behavior. He goes from the typical Loving Wives’ husband to a real world man who is a throwback to a man from the 1950s or before. That is a man who says this is how it’s going to be in the house and she can deal with it. Essentially he would be telling her that if she wants to act like a child then he will treat her like one and punish her accordingly.

The most prescient example of this is “Becoming Mrs. Pleasure” by RichardGerald. Granted the husband is an absolute broken person himself even before the relationship but his response is a nuclear level physical response. You rarely see these types of stories and I wish there was more of them.

You're annoyed that in the fictional fantasy land of Lit stories, there isn't the 'proper' ratio of domestic violence?

"In real life women like their husbands to be an asshole part of the time and to have a dominant personality" ... really? This statement seems to imply ALL woman. As one of them, I can quite categorically say you're wrong.
 
Non-consensual violence, especially of the domestic violence, will not fly on Lit.

I am sorry for your troubled soul. I suggest that you find help elsewhere.

This is bullshit to the extreme. Cuckold stories are domestic violence and abuse stories. In real life people are charged with assault, kidnapping and so much more from these types of situations. These stories have women do literally anything they want to men including violence, rape, and worse yet a man can’t touch a woman in anger? And you call me the messed up one! Please don’t make me laugh.
 
LW has a handful of major complications amongst its readership, and an appreciation for nuance is one of them. There are hair-trigger responses to anything within 10k of cuckoldery (basically, almost any 'hotwife' story) and reactions are typically vicious and polarised.

Some readers appreciated my treatment of the husband in the final chapter of Suzanne's Supreme Night of Poker series (which I intended to be an amusing twist on the tired 'poker night' trope) but most did not, and the commentary was predictable.

It is a real challenge to write human-husband qualities in that category, you almost can't win.

This is because the stories ignore a major aspect of male behavior so yeah there is a hair trigger response. In real life violence happens in these scenarios, often it can get really bad. Authors try to get around this by having the wronged husband beat the crap out of the lover to let the man vent some anger but this doesn’t really work in many stories, especially those in which the wife treats the husband worse than a pile a dogshit and takes the emotional/physical abuse to an extreme. The only time you see physical punishment of women is in BDSM stories and those are so contrived and fake that most are laugh out loud terrible. Only Finish The Damn Story managed to write these types well. Most of the rest simply fail miserably at it.

Just because society has changed in general does not mean male instincts have (granted men have 40% less testosterone overall than boomers did due to modern lifestyles, pesticides, plastics, and soy but still).
 
No women want this? Okay, lol. You may want to venture over to the BDSM forum where you may learn a thing or two.

People don’t all want the same thing. Just because something isn’t your cup of tea, doesn’t mean others don’t want exactly that tea.

No, they really don’t. Female dominated marriages almost always fail. In fact the success rates are almost non-existent as almost every single one eventually results in divorce. Why? Because women don’t stay faithful to a man they don’t respect and eventually even cuckolding him gets boring and they will leave for a man they do respect as either an equal or superior. Hell almost every single LW story is about this very concept because these dudes are doormats and allow their wives to walk over them. You will never ever see an LW story written about a man who looks like Dolph Lundgren in his prime, has sex like Don Juan, has a dominant personality, and is worth millions. Why? Because there is no woman on the planet who would give this up or cheat on such a man unless they were an outright sociopath, incapable of human emotion. But then female domination BDSM stories kinda make me laugh in general anyway. Reading about a 130 lb woman somehow dominating a man is about as hilarious as watching women in action movies.

BDSM is a fetish based around sex and we all know that sex is a terrible foundation for an actual marriage. This would be like basing a marriage around exhibitionism or cosplay sex. A marriage must have more than sex for it to work. Anyone saying otherwise is delusional.
 
You're annoyed that in the fictional fantasy land of Lit stories, there isn't the 'proper' ratio of domestic violence?

"In real life women like their husbands to be an asshole part of the time and to have a dominant personality" ... really? This statement seems to imply ALL woman. As one of them, I can quite categorically say you're wrong.

I never said domestic violence was good, not once. In fact, I think it’s terrible and have seen it get way out of hand. My point is that the entire genre ignores it and pretends it doesn’t exist and that’s one of the major reasons why the genre has such a visceral reaction from its readers. Men get violent when backed into a corner, that’s reality.

As for saying women want an asshole, well what I meant is that women want a man who will put his foot down and emphatically say no at times. They want someone who will be a rock in the relationship who they can look to when shit happens to the family. Any man who always agrees with his wife or gives her everything she wants is a doormat. Any man who agrees with the statement “happy wife, happy life” is a doormat. That’s a man who has no self respect and no dignity to be up front with his own desires or needs. Sometimes being a husband means you have to piss your wife off and not give in or make a decision she doesn’t like. Modern society hasn’t changed human instincts no matter how much people want to make it so. Gender roles still do exist and there are genetic reasons for their existence that go back tens of thousands of years to human survival when humans were Hunter/gatherers.
 
I never said domestic violence was good, not once.

Yes you did.

"These stories have women do literally anything they want to men including violence, rape, and worse yet a man can’t touch a woman in anger?

Touching a woman in anger IS violence. Touching anyone, including your self (self mutilation) in anger is violence.

You also used the term "worse yet"...

Definition of worse yet it's used when you're talking about something bad, and then you say something that is even more bad. For example; "someone stole my bag, worse yet, I'm lost and can't get home!

But in your case, it as in reference to a negative statement already, so it flips the meaning. In the English language, two negatives make a positive. remember Language Arts Class in 8th grade?

Not to be anal on this, but this is Linguistics 101 at play here.
 
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I never said domestic violence was good, not once. In fact, I think it’s terrible and have seen it get way out of hand. My point is that the entire genre ignores it and pretends it doesn’t exist and that’s one of the major reasons why the genre has such a visceral reaction from its readers. Men get violent when backed into a corner, that’s reality.

My neck gets so tired looking back and forth between the "it's unfair to blame all men for the actions of a few" dudes and the "all men are violent jealous animals and we can't help it, we're just slaves to immutable instincts" dudes.

Which is weird, because so often it's the same dudes on both sides.

Meanwhile, I know plenty of physically imposing men who don't instinctively resort to violence and aren't driven by jealousy.

As for saying women want an asshole, well what I meant is that women want a man who will put his foot down and emphatically say no at times.

There are several billion women in the world and not all want the same thing.

Modern society hasn’t changed human instincts no matter how much people want to make it so.

One of the strongest human instincts is fear of drowning. And yet millions of people voluntarily slap on a scuba mask and dive underwater.

It's instinctive to be afraid of spiders, snakes, and large predators. Yet people keep all of those as beloved pets.

People are pretty good at overcoming their instincts when they make the effort. One of the primary reasons for our success as a species is that we're capable of adapting to situations far, far outside the stereotypical "hunter-gatherer" scenarios that evo-psych advocates like to imagine drives our psyches.

You know what's 100% realistic and yet hardly ever shows up in stories? Getting diarrhea in the middle of making out. Tooth decay. Male pattern baldness. Joint pain. There's plenty of that shit in real life, people mostly don't want to read about it in stories.

Same goes for domestic violence. If I want to hear about some asshole getting rough with his wife I just have to read the papers. No need to come here for that.
 
You said: "Open marriage."

The OP subject line is about "open marriage." And open marriage allows both the husband and the wife to have FWB. There are lots of couples that enjoy that type of arrangement.

Wife swapping clubs are also very common and many couples with good marriages enjoy swapping.

So, it is just a mind set that an open marriage means the wife is a slut and the husband is a wimp.

You may also want to ask yourself: "How rare is it for a husband to cheat on a wife." It happens all the time and is a major cause of divorce.

So should the wife 'burn the bastard'? I hate double standards.

Both men and women enjoy sexual variety. It is natural. So the idea that the only men that would enjoy a sexually open marriage are wimps is simply not true.

Couples that enjoy swapping are usually very self-confident people that are not given to jealous insecurity.

Also, I hope you realize that female sexual capacity is, on average, many times greater than your male sexual capacity. I think that the real wimps are the husbands that are afraid that there wife will discover what it is like to have sex all night long.
 
I hope you realize that female sexual capacity is, on average, many times greater than your male sexual capacity. I think that the real wimps are the husbands that are afraid that there wife will discover what it is like to have sex all night long.

Amen.

And ending the night exhausted, dripping from each orafice, while being helped to the shower by the guy who put the first two loads -- and a subsequent one -- into you is totally amazing. That's the guy I slept beside afterward, because he owned my soul itself.

I was in an incredible 35 year "open marriage except we never 'officially' married" (due to financial, mainly inheritance, issues) to a larger-than-life man 30 years my senior. He was every bit the alpha-male of our social set.

Female dominated marriages almost always fail.

Remembering very old statistics about half -- or maybe it was more -- of marriages failing, nope ... Or maybe it was half of the people who were married being divorced, or ... Something about "half," and "divorce," maybe it was "losing half your stuff." But I digress.

I went looking for the current divorce statistics.

The thing I found most interesting was the executive statements of three studies in the US, Canada, and UK, that basically said the same thing. "Percentage wise, fewer people are marrying," and: "Divorce rates are down."
 
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