Nowhere To Run ch 3--feedback please?

[windstormy]

Well, I'm excited and a little disappointed about this one. My excitement is due to the fact that I think the story is coming along pretty good. Only I took Ms. Jackson's advise and read the "How to" on punctuation by "KillerMuffin" and see it's riddled with all kinds of technical errors. Sheesh. Of course, I had already submitted this chapter before I had read that piece. Will have to go back and make some changes, I see.

I also took another's advise and added a little meat to the story.

Anyways, would love your feedback, advise, and ideas.

Nowhere to Run Ch 3

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Well, I'm excited and a little disappointed about this one. My excitement is due to the fact that I think the story is coming along pretty good. Only I took Ms. Jackson's advise and read the "How to" on punctuation by "KillerMuffin" and see it's riddled with all kinds of technical errors. Sheesh. Of course, I had already submitted this chapter before I had read that piece. Will have to go back and make some changes, I see.

I also took another's advise and added a little meat to the story.

Anyways, would love your feedback, advise, and ideas.

Nowhere to Run Ch 3

Kind of eye opening, wasn't it, Billy?

This is the real way it is. All the best writers on Lit and elsewhere in the world are vorascious readers. We read everything. Because of that two things happen. First we are learning about everything from Butterflies in Armenia to nesting habits of Zebras in Zanzabar.

But the more important thing is, we have ourselves immersed in good wrting with good punctuation and strong wording. Believe me. It rubs off and shows up in our own work.

Try it.

 

[sr71plt]

*sigh*

advise = verb

advice = noun

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Not usually my genre, but I liked your approach. There's no need to try and out-Hemingway, Hemingway in your style, a bit of explanation for us mortals would help.

I don't know if it's you or the site, but the font on the first page was a bit of a turnoff and the bold was totally off-putting.

Perhaps I'm just a girly, but I would have liked a bit more depth to the emotions - the fears, the loves, reasons to care.

I'll ignore the punctuation.

 

[windstormy]

*sigh*

advise = verb

advice = noun

I've always gotten those confused. And to be honest, it took me all this time to realize what you were trying to say. *Sigh* I know you probably think I'm slow, now. Yeah, that could be true and I am working around a long list of diagnosed capitalized acronyms that cause my attention and focus to be a bit off, sometimes a lot off.

I had to read the "How To" on punctuation three time to grasp most of it. I still need to go back when I've leveled out more and try to read the parts I didn't grasp, again.

Just please, don't give up on me. I'm trying. Honest, I am.

 

[sr71plt]

I've always gotten those confused. And to be honest, it took me all this time to realize what you were trying to say. *Sigh* I know you probably think I'm slow, now. Yeah, that could be true and I am working around a long list of diagnosed capitalized acronyms that cause my attention and focus to be a bit off, sometimes a lot off.

I had to read the "How To" on punctuation three time to grasp most of it. I still need to go back when I've leveled out more and try to read the parts I didn't grasp, again.

Just please, don't give up on me. I'm trying. Honest, I am.

I only posted because it seems like just more than half of those posting to this page in the last couple of days are screwing that up. Some of the indignant replies (not you) here about "troll" complaints about their use of English have indicated that the "troll" had a thumb firmly on a real problem.