Now that my cherry is gone should I continue?
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=13839
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=13839
Now that my cherry's gone should I continue with Ch 5?
- Thread starter KimberToo
- Start date
Sonia_de_Beaumanoir
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- Joined
- Jan 28, 2001
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The question about whether you should continue with THIS story depends on whether you like writing about yourself as its heroine. I definitely think you should continue to write more.
I had a few criticisms of this story. I think that you should have combined Ch's 3 and 4, as Ch3 was very short and without much "action." You used parentheses too often, and there were a number of other punctuation and grammar problems that some editing would have caught. I suggest you read Whispersecret's howto on punctuating dialog.
A problem with the plot was that you never express any surprise or other emotion or even much comment when you find out that Sindy and Jake fuck or that he had taken her virginity. At the least, you should have expressed some thrill about forbidden relationships.
The question about whether you should continue with THIS story depends on whether you like writing about yourself as its heroine. I definitely think you should continue to write more.
I had a few criticisms of this story. I think that you should have combined Ch's 3 and 4, as Ch3 was very short and without much "action." You used parentheses too often, and there were a number of other punctuation and grammar problems that some editing would have caught. I suggest you read Whispersecret's howto on punctuating dialog.
A problem with the plot was that you never express any surprise or other emotion or even much comment when you find out that Sindy and Jake fuck or that he had taken her virginity. At the least, you should have expressed some thrill about forbidden relationships.
Thank you Sonia_de_Beaumanoir
Your were right on. I am using a friends computer and internet connection to write and post my stories and I may lose that connection soon so I wrote those chapters rather fast just to get out my erotic soul so to speak. I will take more time and maybe let the editors help me improve and read the page you said. Yes when I wrote chapter three I didn't know how long I would have before I was able to get some computer time to finish it, so I posted 3 and then was able to do 4 sooner than I thought. If I could do it over again I would have combined them.
Thank you for taking the time to read the stories and encouraging me to continue.
Your were right on. I am using a friends computer and internet connection to write and post my stories and I may lose that connection soon so I wrote those chapters rather fast just to get out my erotic soul so to speak. I will take more time and maybe let the editors help me improve and read the page you said. Yes when I wrote chapter three I didn't know how long I would have before I was able to get some computer time to finish it, so I posted 3 and then was able to do 4 sooner than I thought. If I could do it over again I would have combined them.
Thank you for taking the time to read the stories and encouraging me to continue.
Yor very naughty-- NiceGuy
Mr. Nice guy you sure write naughty for a "nice guy"!!!
I'll get on that story right away and no I won't give you Sindy's phone number. (But... if your real "nice" to me I might relay your email address to her!)
KimberToo (But you can call me Kimber)
Mr. Nice guy you sure write naughty for a "nice guy"!!!
I'll get on that story right away and no I won't give you Sindy's phone number. (But... if your real "nice" to me I might relay your email address to her!)
KimberToo (But you can call me Kimber)
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