'Nother grammar question

[TarnishedPenny]

OK, another plea from the grammatically-challenged.

A woman woke up in a luxurious room, but one from she cannot exit. She's lost track of time. Which would it be more correct?

Days passed, numberless in her ability to count.

or

Days passed, numberless in her inability to count.

I've looked it both ways and although I rather favour the second, I can see an argument for both.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I’m probably not answering your question, but numberless and in/ability to count seem redundant.

Days passed, exceeding her ability to count.

Or

Innumerable days passed.

 

[THBGato]

I agree with Emily.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I’m probably not answering your question, but numberless and in/ability to count seem redundant.

Days passed, exceeding her ability to count.

Or

Innumerable days passed.

Maybe:

Days passed, far beyond her ability to count.

 

[HordHolm]

Similar to Emily, but I'd go with, "the days passed, numberless."

 

[TarnishedPenny]

OK, thanks for those. I'll buy that.

Sniff.

 

[Voboy]

"Days passed, more than she could count." KISS

Inability and ability both strike me as "clinical," in a way.

 

[StillStunned]

Days passed, numberless in her ability to count.

or

Days passed, numberless in her inability to count.

Inability. Preferably also "her inability to count them." Otherwise the implication is that she can't count at all.

 

[Alexxx90]

“Countless days passed”?

 

[BearNextDoor]

Days passed, numberless, countless. Borne on a river of time, sweeping away memory. Lost forever to the hourglass.

Or possibly less florid than that.

 

[AlexBailey]

A woman woke up in a luxurious room, but one from she cannot exit. She's lost track of time.

Sorry. I know it’s not what you were asking about, but isn’t the tense inconsistent there? You primed the thread as a focus on grammar and this is what first caught my attention.

Woke: past tense

Cannot: present tense

She’s - contraction of ‘she has’: present prefect


I guess it works but maybe it’s wobbly in a way that helps with the whole ‘lost track of time’ thing.

 

[TheLobster]

@AlexBailey Was about to comment on exactly that

As for the main question, if you want to keep “numberless”, I’d add another adjective rather than repeating the innumerability twice:

Days passed, innumerable in their endless monotony.

But I’d probably express this untold number of days in a different way altogether. Maybe not as purple as some of the suggestions, but perhaps something like:

Days passed, one after another, until she realized she could no longer count them.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Sorry. I know it’s not what you were asking about, but isn’t the tense inconsistent there? You primed the thread as a focus on grammar and this is what first caught my attention.

Woke: past tense

Cannot: present tense

She’s - contraction of ‘she has’: present prefect


I guess it works but maybe it’s wobbly in a way that helps with the whole ‘lost track of time’ thing.

A woman woke up [some time ago] in a luxurious room, but one from she cannot [now] exit. She's [now] lost track of time.

Help?

 

[ElectricBlue]

OK, another plea from the grammatically-challenged.

A woman woke up in a luxurious room, but one from she cannot exit. She's lost track of time. Which would it be more correct?

Days passed, numberless in her ability to count.

or

Days passed, numberless in her inability to count.

I've looked it both ways and although I rather favour the second, I can see an argument for both.

"numberless in her in/ability to count" is clunky for me, regardless of her ability or not. I'd kill the whole phrase, keep it simple:

Days passed, endless, numberless.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Keeping it narrowly defined so as not to rewrite your sentence and style, I'd go with "inability."

Now that I've shown restraint... Time to rewrite your sentence and style

Depending on how much jarringness (yes, it's a word) and distress you want to infuse in the scene, you could consider making it punchier, mixing up sentence structure, ending with a couple one-word gut punches:

"Days passed. Weeks, months. Innumerable. Unending."

Just to throw in an old horror writer's perspective

 

[AlexBailey]

A woman woke up [some time ago] in a luxurious room, but one from she cannot [now] exit. She's [now] lost track of time.

Help?

Yeah, that’s what I got from it. But still, the narrative moves from past to present in two sentences. Is the story going to continue in past or present?

If it’s going to continue in present, wouldn’t it be more consistent to begin with “A woman wakes…” ?

If it’s going to continue in past, why say she’s now lost track of time?

 

[EmilyMiller]

Yeah, that’s what I got from it. But still, the narrative moves from past to present in two sentences. Is the story going to continue in past or present?

If it’s going to continue in present, wouldn’t it be more consistent to begin with “A woman wakes…” ?

If it’s going to continue in past, why say she’s now lost track?

It scans fine for me. Yours does as well. It’s two different perspectives. I don’t think either is wrong.

 

[caleb35]

My apologies to @TarnishedPenny but I thought it best to throw in another grammar question here rather than start a new thread (and if anyone thinks I'm wrong, please feel free to say). Was just working on a draft of something new and realized I wasn't sure about the right word to use:

Genitals? or Genitalia?

What does the hive mind think? Survey says...

 

[Britva415]

My apologies to @TarnishedPenny but I thought it best to throw in another grammar question here rather than start a new thread (and if anyone thinks I'm wrong, please feel free to say). Was just working on a draft of something new and realized I wasn't sure about the right word to use:

Genitals? or Genitalia?

What does the hive mind think? Survey says...

Genitalias
Genitaliae
Genitalii

 

[Britva415]

My apologies to @TarnishedPenny but I thought it best to throw in another grammar question here rather than start a new thread (and if anyone thinks I'm wrong, please feel free to say). Was just working on a draft of something new and realized I wasn't sure about the right word to use:

Genitals? or Genitalia?

What does the hive mind think? Survey says...

“Genitals” is countable, like “organs,” genitalia” is collective or uncountable, like “paraphernalia.”

Though, they refer to the same thing.

 

[BeechLeaf]

Sam has two genitals? Kim has more genitals than Sam? It is plural (my genitals are) but the plural -s ending doesn't in this case make it countable: it doesn't distinguish it from plural genitalia.

I don't have any strong feeling for a difference. They're both used in a fairly formal way, without being overtly medical: if you don't want to name the parts specifically, and don't want to use slang, either would do.

 

[caleb35]

Genitalias
Genitaliae
Genitalii

Gratias tibi ago, @Britva415

 

[Voboy]

My apologies to @TarnishedPenny but I thought it best to throw in another grammar question here rather than start a new thread (and if anyone thinks I'm wrong, please feel free to say). Was just working on a draft of something new and realized I wasn't sure about the right word to use:

Genitals? or Genitalia?

What does the hive mind think? Survey says...

Context?

I've written many words here, but I'm not sure where I'd ever use "genitalia." It seems a bit more remote than anything I'd be likely to come up with.

Genitalia is probably the proper term, appropriate in scientific or technical contexts. Genitals is more colloquial, but it's hard for me to think of times I'd use it. Maybe when people are teasing each other verbally? Or among people who think they're being proper and technical but are actually fairly ignorant? A cop might use it.

ETA: I just did a search. I've used it in technical or semi-official contexts, like when (I guessed right) cops or intimacy coordinators are talking. I think whether I picked -ia or -s depended on the way the words flowed, and on the speakers' usual tendencies.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Genitals? or Genitalia?

Genitalia is medical / scientific. Genitals is more every day use. They both mean the same.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Genitals and genitalia are basically the same thing, both refer to the external sex organs, per dictionary definitions. The only real difference seems to be that "genitals" is less formal than "genitalia."

Edit: Okay, I coulda saved myself the hassle of posting if I'd refreshed the damn page and saw @EmilyMiller's post