So this guy answers my personal ad. I'd posted it to frustrate an ex with jealousy, and expected no results other than a frustrated, jealous ex lover. A game? Yes, I admit it, but in my defense, it was more than 2 years ago, and I no longer use games with men. They're not very good at keeping up with life in general, so playing games is futile.
Aaaaaaaaanyway, I was overwelmed when I received dozens of responses, but because I was on a mission to win my lover back, and not a love finding expedition, I politely declined most of them. Some had the apparent attributes to be good and decent people, and in having responded to them, they still hang about me! It's been 2 years already!
One response intrigued me in another way though. A sort of intuition way.... women know what I'm talking about. I responded to him, and then I responded to to his message. He was amazing! Sweet, romantic, shy, and among many other wonderful things, he was scared. Scared to love, scared of himself, scared that he would never be loved again.
As we got to know each other, (I couldn't stay away from him even though "Pete" had come crawling back because of the ad) he intrigued me more and more, and even though I was sexually intimate with Pete, I still entertained fantasies about Not Telling, so I also entertained Not Telling. Yes, I know, another game... I've already explained that I'm past that. Let's move on, shall we?
After a week of seeing both of them, Not Telling asks me if I'm corresponding with other men. I assume that he's asking me if I'm still answering ads, so I say yes, because I was. There was no sense in letting Pete's balls go when I had such a firm grip on them, know what I mean? I was still saying no thank you to responses, but Not Telling mistakenly took it to mean that I was being intimate with others, and in my response to asking him out for Valentines's Day, sent me a snotty message saying that he had a reality date and wouldn't be wasting his time with me anymore.
I was taken aback, to say the least, but held my tongue because shit happens, you know? Whatever. Several months later, I was cleaning out stale mail and came across one of his. It made me smile, and in an impulsive moment, I sent off a message asking how he was. His immediate response was excited, grateful, and after the usual amenities, he asked,
"Are you with anyone, Jade?" To which I replied,
"No, I'm not." My game days were over by then (one spends a lot of time in solitude when playing games to get people to spend time with them is seen for what it is) and I was so very glad that I wasn't with anyone.
We spent many hours together, getting to know each other, sharing intimacies and secrets. He told me that his parents had been killed in a car accident, and shared with me what he felt about the loss. We shared many, many secrets about ourselves over several weeks while we cyber fucked like rabbits at every opportunity.
I started to fantasize about a reality relationship, but knew that he had been hurt so badly, that even getting him to admit that he had cyber feelings for me, was nigh on to impossible, so I pulled back. When I did, he asked if I was being intimate with someone else. I said no, and was candid about my reasons for pulling back.
Not Telling explained to me that his wife had left him for another woman, and that his ego was so damaged, and his dreams so crushed and his shame as a man so great, that he felt that he would never love again. In light of my sudden confession of my growing attachment to him, and his insecurities, he felt it best that we "break this off".
In view of the circumstances, and his obvious fear of involvement, as well his irrational lesbian phobias, I felt that, it would be in everyone's best interests, to just let it go.
And you're never going to guess what!
Aaaaaaaaanyway, I was overwelmed when I received dozens of responses, but because I was on a mission to win my lover back, and not a love finding expedition, I politely declined most of them. Some had the apparent attributes to be good and decent people, and in having responded to them, they still hang about me! It's been 2 years already!
One response intrigued me in another way though. A sort of intuition way.... women know what I'm talking about. I responded to him, and then I responded to to his message. He was amazing! Sweet, romantic, shy, and among many other wonderful things, he was scared. Scared to love, scared of himself, scared that he would never be loved again.
As we got to know each other, (I couldn't stay away from him even though "Pete" had come crawling back because of the ad) he intrigued me more and more, and even though I was sexually intimate with Pete, I still entertained fantasies about Not Telling, so I also entertained Not Telling. Yes, I know, another game... I've already explained that I'm past that. Let's move on, shall we?
After a week of seeing both of them, Not Telling asks me if I'm corresponding with other men. I assume that he's asking me if I'm still answering ads, so I say yes, because I was. There was no sense in letting Pete's balls go when I had such a firm grip on them, know what I mean? I was still saying no thank you to responses, but Not Telling mistakenly took it to mean that I was being intimate with others, and in my response to asking him out for Valentines's Day, sent me a snotty message saying that he had a reality date and wouldn't be wasting his time with me anymore.
I was taken aback, to say the least, but held my tongue because shit happens, you know? Whatever. Several months later, I was cleaning out stale mail and came across one of his. It made me smile, and in an impulsive moment, I sent off a message asking how he was. His immediate response was excited, grateful, and after the usual amenities, he asked,
"Are you with anyone, Jade?" To which I replied,
"No, I'm not." My game days were over by then (one spends a lot of time in solitude when playing games to get people to spend time with them is seen for what it is) and I was so very glad that I wasn't with anyone.
We spent many hours together, getting to know each other, sharing intimacies and secrets. He told me that his parents had been killed in a car accident, and shared with me what he felt about the loss. We shared many, many secrets about ourselves over several weeks while we cyber fucked like rabbits at every opportunity.
I started to fantasize about a reality relationship, but knew that he had been hurt so badly, that even getting him to admit that he had cyber feelings for me, was nigh on to impossible, so I pulled back. When I did, he asked if I was being intimate with someone else. I said no, and was candid about my reasons for pulling back.
Not Telling explained to me that his wife had left him for another woman, and that his ego was so damaged, and his dreams so crushed and his shame as a man so great, that he felt that he would never love again. In light of my sudden confession of my growing attachment to him, and his insecurities, he felt it best that we "break this off".
In view of the circumstances, and his obvious fear of involvement, as well his irrational lesbian phobias, I felt that, it would be in everyone's best interests, to just let it go.
And you're never going to guess what!
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