Not Sure What This Is...

[HugeFlyer]

...is it a rant? The literary equivalent of a coin tossed into a fountain? By doing so, closing my eyes and fervently wishing that I will end up "happily ever after?" Or, maybe this is just my effort at trying to be creative...bored with the repeating loops of people who think they are funny, open-minded, clever...and are anything but. Those who are clearly denied the self-awareness to realize the ultimate bottom line of their everyday existence...that they're boring, unoriginal...

As Amy Schumer said in her most recent HBO comedy special, "Remember 20's hope?!?" I do...the thought that I had all the time in the world. That my youth wouldn't begrudge me a few misguided relationship mistakes before ultimately allowing me to enjoy that thing that we all deserve to have with a significant other...a happy ending. And, as you get older, you start to wonder if Love does indeed exist...or if it's not just some strange side-effect of chemical structure purported by chocolate and lust. Like the rust covered metal sitting in some junkyard, my outer covering of cynicism will need to be meticulously scrubbed and sanded in order to have even a glimpse at the shiny metal of the romantic buried deep, deep underneath.

You see, I have a theory...about how men and women see each other...and see sex. When men are younger, they believe that relationships are all about the physical attraction they feel to their partner. As they get older, they start to realize that yes, that hot buxom blonde that gets your dick hard will just as rapidly get it just as soft when she opens her fucking mouth to reveal that her personality is nothing but a disgusting center covered up by all that delicious sugary physical hotness that quickly turns ugly with utterance of her first dumb comment.

In the beginning, for us guys, it's about 90% physical and 10% emotional. And, as we get older, it eventually turns into 60% physical and 40% emotional, but it never becomes less than 50% physical. Why? Well, because that's how we're wired, that's fucking why. God's cruel little joke, I suppose. Forget the Holocaust...forget Hiroshima...forget ebola...God's cruelest creation is how he has wired even the smartest, loyal and chivalrous men to be horny little fucks.

Women, on the other hand, are the opposite. They start as 90% emotional creatures and 10% physical. As they get older, they eventually drift the other way...become 60% emotional and 40% physical. It never becomes less than 50% emotional. Why? well, because that's how women are wired, that's fucking why. Forget abortion...forget buying shoes not on sale...forget cold blooded murder...God's second cruelest creation is how he has wired even the coolest, most laid back and low-maintenance women to be emotional animals. "It's not what you said, it's how you said it." Remember that one?

That's why older women and younger men work so well. It's a fairly good combo of matching physical and emotional desires that combine to create that delicious peanut butter & jelly that we all love so much. It's like chocolate and peanut butter, lawyers and motorcycles, Jews and Catholics. They just go together so well...

In truth, I feel sorry for women...the constant contradiction that all females have to go through...consistently told that it's what's inside that counts, and only slutty women have sexual feelings. And then, as soon as you get alone with your "true love," you're supposed to flip the switch and turn off all that sexual repression and become a wild thing in the sack. Anyone remember the line from that song? "We want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed." Good luck with that...probably easier to win the lottery.

A wise man once said, "Women become more attracted to those they love and men love more and more those whom they are attracted to." I think that about sums up this view that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. It's a fucking miracle that any of us get together at all. ha ha

As for myself, I struggle with the idea of being in a relationship. Deep down, I want true intimacy...the kind of intimacy that we're all looking for at the moment that we come into this world.

And yet, I haven't had any luck. In fact, I haven't been in a relationship in 2 years. I hate to admit the fact that I haven't even fucked a woman in 2 years. You're thinking I'm ugly. I have no job. I'm a complete moron with women. Well, the last might be true. But in reality, I'm a good looking guy. I'm very athletic. Most would say I'm charming. I make a very good living in the healthcare profession.

Charlie Sheen once said, "I don't pay for sex, I pay them to leave." I never truly understood that statement until the last couple of years. Because the truth is that guys don't look at you, TRULY look at you until right after they cum. In that moment, for just a little while, we are truly open to who you are...your personality, your goals, your hopes, your dreams. And in that instant, we decide in a millisecond, if we want to be with you or not. It's really that simple. And after you've made us cum, society has set us up for you to expect something. Whether it's money or to act a certain way...all women expect SOMETHING. And, hence, Charlie Sheen's famous line...

Does love truly exist? If you had asked me when I was younger, I wouldn't have hesitated, saying, "Yes, of course it does!!!" And, as I've gotten older, I have to take a pause...a deep breath...and hesitantly answer, "I'm not sure." We become more calculating as we get older...more capable of creating a laundry list of qualities that we "can't do without" in a mate. And the internet has made it seem like we're ordering a shirt. All we have to do is pick the right color, style and size in the shirt we want and hit ORDER...and blam! 2 day shipping guaranteed! It used to be we married our neighbor because that was the only person in a 20 mile radius. If we had 50% of things in common with them, we were happy! And now, we feel that unless we achieve at least a 90% match of the qualities we're looking for in a mate, we "won't settle."

So, what is all of this rambling coming to? If you're still with me, I would be shocked. But I will say that I'm looking for a connection with a women like me--athletic, educated, professional. And I'm not sure that I want that connection to be a full-blown relationship.

However, I do know that a sexual beast within me has been growing, and I need a woman to help me let it out. I've always been reserved...limited by doing what I thought was the right thing. I would like to connect with a woman who will let me be free and explore what I've suppressed deep down. I wouldn't say I have any major kinks--no scat, no violence, and nothing I would consider too far off the beaten path. I would just like permission to be the sexual being that I've always wanted to be without any judgements or repercussions.

And no, thank you, I'm not interested in any male-male experiences. I'm simply straight and it just doesn't interest me at all.

To start, I live in Charlotte, NC and I would be willing to drive up to 1 hour to meet and see if we connect. Of course, there will need to be preliminary contact, communication and exchange of pictures before a meeting is to take place. And if we do meet, it will be an innocuous meeting in a public place to decide if there is warranted attraction to take it further.

I don't really suppose I'm expecting anything to come of this...I just thought, "What the hell?"

Is anyone interested?

 

[ElsieElsewhere]

That post made me become a Nihilist. Thanks.

Edit: I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck!

 

[barefootgirl69]

Yes, I read that in its entirety, and I sincerely hope that someone reads this and messages you and it's all you want it to be.

 

[HugeFlyer]

That post made me become a Nihilist. Thanks.

Edit: I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck!

Now, you're starting to see the light...or lack of.

 

[AlliaPotestas]

I read to the end, good luck in your search. I disagree with some of what you say, but it is our differences that makes life interesting.

If you get some promising responses I would consider being flexible with the ‘up to an hour’ requirement if you need to, my daily commute tends to be longer than that, I would go much further for a connection for someone that mattered and great sex… I have dated a man who lived three hours from me, he would regularly finish work at 6pm, get to me at 9 and we would fuck until we fell asleep, and he would creep out in the early hours for his drive to work. At weekend’s I used to go to his place and I didn’t drive at the time, with the various bus/train changes it took over four and half hours. Maybe that’s ridiculous, but we kept it up for two years and it was bliss, because despite your reservations love does exist… maybe not a “you are the only one” type of love, as Tim Minchin sings, “If I didn’t have you, someone else would do…”

But that intimate connection; that desire to lose yourself in another person; the annoyance when other people / events interrupt your time together - that definitely exists… I saw a quote the other day, can’t remember who by, which suggested you shouldn’t marry because you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you should marry because you cannot bear to live without them. I think there is something in that; when horror happens - a bad smash on the motorway or violent attack in a city centre, my thoughts go to the people I love, I briefly stop sometimes and compute in my head whether anyone I care about could have been in the vicinity. The idea of anything happening to them is so unbearable it produces a physical reaction, it might be fucked up, but if you make to that short list, as my heart briefly stills and my skin pales and goes clammy, congratulations, I do love you even if I have never said it…

I have a friend who had a one night stand in Australia on her last night there, a few days later he dropped everything to get on a plan to England, romantic? definitely, insane? quite possibly… I am just saying, if a bloke told me he was willing to travel up to an hour for me to act like a freak in the bedroom, I wouldn’t feel terribly special (unless he had a very good excuse: commitments to his kids; lack of funds; the desire to be fairly close to his dialysis machine - you get the picture…)

Anyway, I digress, best of luck with the search. On a serious note, it does sound like you are looking for a real life connection, in which case you might better looking outside of lit. Joining a running or walking club; or a book club, or volunteer somewhere there might be disproportionate number of women…

There are just over 10m people in North Carolina; of which 51.3% are female and 77.2% adults, that gives you nearly four million people to choose from (3977311 to be precise…)

ps - if you really want “a lady in the street and a freak in the bed”, look for the shy girls

 

[spunkyE]

I read all the way. I have a lot of the same feelings. Some made me think. Too bad you live so far away. Good luck to you finding what you need.

 

[HugeFlyer]

...is it a rant? The literary equivalent of a coin tossed into a fountain? By doing so, closing my eyes and fervently wishing that I will end up "happily ever after?" Or, maybe this is just my effort at trying to be creative...bored with the repeating loops of people who think they are funny, open-minded, clever...and are anything but. Those who are clearly denied the self-awareness to realize the ultimate bottom line of their everyday existence...that they're boring, unoriginal...

As Amy Schumer said in her most recent HBO comedy special, "Remember 20's hope?!?" I do...the thought that I had all the time in the world. That my youth wouldn't begrudge me a few misguided relationship mistakes before ultimately allowing me to enjoy that thing that we all deserve to have with a significant other...a happy ending. And, as you get older, you start to wonder if Love does indeed exist...or if it's not just some strange side-effect of chemical structure purported by chocolate and lust. Like the rust covered metal sitting in some junkyard, my outer covering of cynicism will need to be meticulously scrubbed and sanded in order to have even a glimpse at the shiny metal of the romantic buried deep, deep underneath.

You see, I have a theory...about how men and women see each other...and see sex. When men are younger, they believe that relationships are all about the physical attraction they feel to their partner. As they get older, they start to realize that yes, that hot buxom blonde that gets your dick hard will just as rapidly get it just as soft when she opens her fucking mouth to reveal that her personality is nothing but a disgusting center covered up by all that delicious sugary physical hotness that quickly turns ugly with utterance of her first dumb comment.

In the beginning, for us guys, it's about 90% physical and 10% emotional. And, as we get older, it eventually turns into 60% physical and 40% emotional, but it never becomes less than 50% physical. Why? Well, because that's how we're wired, that's fucking why. God's cruel little joke, I suppose. Forget the Holocaust...forget Hiroshima...forget ebola...God's cruelest creation is how he has wired even the smartest, loyal and chivalrous men to be horny little fucks.

Women, on the other hand, are the opposite. They start as 90% emotional creatures and 10% physical. As they get older, they eventually drift the other way...become 60% emotional and 40% physical. It never becomes less than 50% emotional. Why? well, because that's how women are wired, that's fucking why. Forget abortion...forget buying shoes not on sale...forget cold blooded murder...God's second cruelest creation is how he has wired even the coolest, most laid back and low-maintenance women to be emotional animals. "It's not what you said, it's how you said it." Remember that one?

That's why older women and younger men work so well. It's a fairly good combo of matching physical and emotional desires that combine to create that delicious peanut butter & jelly that we all love so much. It's like chocolate and peanut butter, lawyers and motorcycles, Jews and Catholics. They just go together so well...

In truth, I feel sorry for women...the constant contradiction that all females have to go through...consistently told that it's what's inside that counts, and only slutty women have sexual feelings. And then, as soon as you get alone with your "true love," you're supposed to flip the switch and turn off all that sexual repression and become a wild thing in the sack. Anyone remember the line from that song? "We want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed." Good luck with that...probably easier to win the lottery.

A wise man once said, "Women become more attracted to those they love and men love more and more those whom they are attracted to." I think that about sums up this view that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. It's a fucking miracle that any of us get together at all. ha ha

As for myself, I struggle with the idea of being in a relationship. Deep down, I want true intimacy...the kind of intimacy that we're all looking for at the moment that we come into this world.

And yet, I haven't had any luck. In fact, I haven't been in a relationship in 2 years. I hate to admit the fact that I haven't even fucked a woman in 2 years. You're thinking I'm ugly. I have no job. I'm a complete moron with women. Well, the last might be true. But in reality, I'm a good looking guy. I'm very athletic. Most would say I'm charming. I make a very good living in the healthcare profession.

Charlie Sheen once said, "I don't pay for sex, I pay them to leave." I never truly understood that statement until the last couple of years. Because the truth is that guys don't look at you, TRULY look at you until right after they cum. In that moment, for just a little while, we are truly open to who you are...your personality, your goals, your hopes, your dreams. And in that instant, we decide in a millisecond, if we want to be with you or not. It's really that simple. And after you've made us cum, society has set us up for you to expect something. Whether it's money or to act a certain way...all women expect SOMETHING. And, hence, Charlie Sheen's famous line...

Does love truly exist? If you had asked me when I was younger, I wouldn't have hesitated, saying, "Yes, of course it does!!!" And, as I've gotten older, I have to take a pause...a deep breath...and hesitantly answer, "I'm not sure." We become more calculating as we get older...more capable of creating a laundry list of qualities that we "can't do without" in a mate. And the internet has made it seem like we're ordering a shirt. All we have to do is pick the right color, style and size in the shirt we want and hit ORDER...and blam! 2 day shipping guaranteed! It used to be we married our neighbor because that was the only person in a 20 mile radius. If we had 50% of things in common with them, we were happy! And now, we feel that unless we achieve at least a 90% match of the qualities we're looking for in a mate, we "won't settle."

So, what is all of this rambling coming to? If you're still with me, I would be shocked. But I will say that I'm looking for a connection with a women like me--athletic, educated, professional. And I'm not sure that I want that connection to be a full-blown relationship.

However, I do know that a sexual beast within me has been growing, and I need a woman to help me let it out. I've always been reserved...limited by doing what I thought was the right thing. I would like to connect with a woman who will let me be free and explore what I've suppressed deep down. I wouldn't say I have any major kinks--no scat, no violence, and nothing I would consider too far off the beaten path. I would just like permission to be the sexual being that I've always wanted to be without any judgements or repercussions.

And no, thank you, I'm not interested in any male-male experiences. I'm simply straight and it just doesn't interest me at all.

To start, I live in Charlotte, NC and I would be willing to drive up to 1 hour to meet and see if we connect. Of course, there will need to be preliminary contact, communication and exchange of pictures before a meeting is to take place. And if we do meet, it will be an innocuous meeting in a public place to decide if there is warranted attraction to take it further.

I don't really suppose I'm expecting anything to come of this...I just thought, "What the hell?"

Is anyone interested?

...bump...

 

[ElsieElsewhere]

...bump...

omg you didn't have to quote to bump. lol

wall of text.

 

[HugeFlyer]

omg you didn't have to quote to bump. lol

wall of text.

[blush] omg...dare I say it? A fan...? Does this mean you're intrested?

 

[RacyWilde]

I am thoroughly answering this because... well, I damn want to! lol. Please don't read into any of this, see it as only friendly banter.

You see, I have a theory...about how men and women see each other...and see sex. When men are younger, they believe that relationships are all about the physical attraction they feel to their partner. As they get older, they start to realize that yes, that hot buxom blonde that gets your dick hard will just as rapidly get it just as soft when she opens her fucking mouth to reveal that her personality is nothing but a disgusting center covered up by all that delicious sugary physical hotness that quickly turns ugly with utterance of her first dumb comment.

I think you make a lot of generalisations - which is fine, I do it too - but I hope I can persuade you that pretty girls are much smarter and "wholesome", and more beautiful on the inside than you think. Most pretty girls have learnt a technique to keep the horny guys at bay... They act the stereotype. It's much easier than turning a guy down.

Not many will ever get personally close to a pretty girl, though more than enough try. It is because she guards herself with a vengeance. Everyone wants a piece of her, so over time she has learnt to present a vague and superficial outside shell to protect her real self. If a pretty girl exposes who she really is - intelligent, funny, deep and soulful, full of great personality - then a truck load of guys will be at her everyday. You get it? But if she meets the right guy, only then will her shallowness and superficial walls come tumbling down. She is smart enough to manipulate the system rather than work against it to save herself from all the horny guys after her.

God's cruelest creation is how he has wired even the smartest, loyal and chivalrous men to be horny little fucks.

God's second cruelest creation is how he has wired even the coolest, most laid back and low-maintenance women to be emotional animals.

Hm, I must be missing something here. I'm the biggest tomboy around and one of the biggest complaints or maybe compliments I get (especially on here) is that I think too much like a dude. I'm logical, visual, and don't get emotional at the littlest things, such as tone of voice. One particular guy said, and I quote: "You think like a man, only better".

The problem is, men think I'm hiding because of it. They have the same stereotypical idea as you as to what a girl should be... as to how I should be, think and act. It's a real drag. One line that guys like to use on a girl to make her feel special is, "You're different for all the others". The problem is, when they actually get someone that is different, they try to 'crack the code' to get down the the inner 'girlie sameness'.

Tip: When you do find a girl wired differently, don't ever expect her to be the same as the stereotype - believe who she is instead.

That's why older women and younger men work so well. It's a fairly good combo of matching physical and emotional desires that combine to create that delicious peanut butter & jelly that we all love so much. It's like chocolate and peanut butter, lawyers and motorcycles, Jews and Catholics. They just go together so well...

Is this from your experience?
It was my thought that older women enjoy something a little more fun and superficial because in middle age their lives are so full-on with career and family they need an outlet to do something that doesn't mean anything. Like playing video games.

In truth, I feel sorry for women...the constant contradiction that all females have to go through...consistently told that it's what's inside that counts, and only slutty women have sexual feelings. And then, as soon as you get alone with your "true love," you're supposed to flip the switch and turn off all that sexual repression and become a wild thing in the sack. Anyone remember the line from that song? "We want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed." Good luck with that...probably easier to win the lottery.

The problem here is the idea of what a 'lady' is. If you mean someone like the First Lady - then yeah sure... she has a reputation to protect. But today women are more empowered. Women actually want to get down and kinky just as much as guys, it's just that before it was obscene for them to be that way, to express it, or live it. In my experience, a woman gets tamer the longer she is with a man because life gets filled up with responsibility and society's expectations.

A wise man once said, "Women become more attracted to those they love and men love more and more those whom they are attracted to."

Yeah, this wise man didn't live in this century. I think 'attracted' needs to replaced by 'attached' here.

Charlie Sheen once said, "I don't pay for sex, I pay them to leave."

I have always found this to be the complete opposite. It is hard to find a man these days who just wants sex. As a woman, I know if I have sex with a man, the consequence is the guy will likely come back for more, and there is a very good chance he can't let me go (and god forbid), will want a relationship with me. It's the girl that has to pay the guy to leave...lol.

People think that if you connect with the mind of someone then the sex will be fantastic. No the case at all. Yeah sure it might be meaningful, but sensuality of the mind does not equate to sensuality in the body. I know some of the greatest sensual minds but do you think they can move? Heck no. They have no sensuality or intelligence in the body. No matter how much of these qualities they have in their mind, they are stunted by their lack of physical control. As above, the popular belief is "It's what's inside that counts" - yes, but only to a certain degree, especially for a person like me, someone who has extreme spacial and kinetic intelligence. Through the body is how I express myself. For me, the body is an outward expression of an inward intelligence.

I never truly understood that statement until the last couple of years. Because the truth is that guys don't look at you, TRULY look at you until right after they cum.

Yes, some of us smart girls know this!! And practice this. What's the point in taking three months in building a relationship in order to sext/sex? Argh - who's got the time? If you don't connect in the bedroom (which is very different from connecting with the mind) then why continue the relationship? Some guys get shocked that I want to sext first. But sexual connection is extremely important to me. It's not just a mind thing for me - it is a whole sensory experience. If the chemistry not there - I won't want to continue. So, "after cumming"... That's when I truly look at a guy and think "hm, is he worth keeping"? Yes, I'm choosing to be practical over romantic - but the romantic are fools anyway and I don't care to be foolish until I use my sanity first to make the best choice. But, with that said, if the sext is too crazy passionate it doesn't mean I will want to continue the relationship either. Smart girls don't last long if they succumb to their emotions.

Does love truly exist?

Short answer: Yes! But perfection doesn't, and that's the core of the problem. Girls are more savvy now. If they are with a guy who likes to binge drink on weekends, for example, with him she realises she could potentially face a lifetime of being an alcoholic's wife. No matter how much she loves him, to smart girls, that's a deal breaker.

And I might just add - though, everyone knows this - being loved is felt differently by both sexes. Girls feel loved when the guy gets involved in daily life - participates/shares the load - and thus she tends to express love by doing things for him. A guy both feels and expresses love through intimacy - and so guys get a bad reputation for being horndogs.

I'm looking for a connection..

Everyone is, even the girl's who will sex you up nice and good before the first 'hello' - they just don't say it upfront or out loud .

I would like to connect with a woman who will let me be free and explore what I've suppressed deep down.

To do that, you can't be picky. Don't ever have a type. Don't ever put parameters as you'll box yourself in.

And no, thank you, I'm not interested in any male-male experiences. I'm simply straight and it just doesn't interest me at all.

Ooops...lol. Is this a parameter?

To start, I live in Charlotte, NC and I would be willing to drive up to 1 hour to meet and see if we connect. Of course, there will need to be preliminary contact, communication and exchange of pictures before a meeting is to take place. And if we do meet, it will be an innocuous meeting in a public place to decide if there is warranted attraction to take it further.

Hm... This is really boxing yourself in. You obviously want something real, and physical sex. In my experience, it's ok to have this as a personal goal, but other people (especially on Lit) usually need to slide into the idea of this. For example, I'm on here for fun. I've only been here for three months and in that time I've become quite close with some people, so much so that as I'm traveling to their neck of the woods, we are going to be meeting up in real life.

So, my suggestion is to start small and not to dismiss online connections. They can be very satisfying, even fulfilling, and will help you to exercise your relationship skills while you wait for your 'perfect' someone. You never know, you might meet your favourite someone online first like many others have before you.

All the best

 

[Shadoleopard]

Damn Racy. Amazing reply.

 

[ElsieElsewhere]

[blush] omg...dare I say it? A fan...? Does this mean you're intrested?

I have email notifications on, so when you quoted your own post, the email body was just a flood of text.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

TL/DR..


OK, I actually did read it, but I have attention span of a blood-drunk mosquito, so... Yeah.. Not much in the retention.

Good luck though, if for no other reason than you're from the Queen City.

 

[RacyWilde]

Damn Racy. Amazing reply.

Aww, thank you!