Not so sure I'm bi anymore

[Eros_1337]

I'm male, just to throw out ambiguity.

Ever since puberty, I've been interesting in girls. However, I was quite homophobic back then (yeah yeah, I'm not proud of it). Once I got to know more gay people, and I got over my homophobia around 17-18, I realized that yep, I was bisexual. I liked guys.

Even after discovering this, I kept it to myself and hid in the closet. Recently, I've made friends that I'm finally comfortable enough to come out to. And so I did. After five years of hiding what I am, I'm finally out, and I accepted myself. But now things are changing.

Ever since accepting it, my interest in women is going down, while my interest in men is going up. To be blunt, my porn routine involves less and less women. I think the straight half of my sexuality is...fading.

Is it possible that all this time, I was in denial and simply tricked myself into liking girls? Will my sexual interest in women disappear completely?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Here's the thing, people change all the time. it's very probable that your homophobia masked your interest in guys, and it's very possible that your interest in women is dwindling now that you've given yourself permission to be interested in men.

It seems as if this is kind of new to you? That's a good reason to be completely preoccupied by your newfound interest.

Will you never want another woman in your life? Who can say? It might happen if you meet the right woman. You might never meet the right woman.

Enjoy! Don't be afraid but be cautious. and keep that sex safe, please, we hate to lose our young'uns.

 

[Experiencedguy]

If this helps, here is my life experience. I started out totally bi. Then straight for sometime. Then bi for sometime. Then straight, for many years (with a few occasionaly strayings). Then gay for some years. Then, bi for the rest of my life (at least until today - not sure about tomorrow). It took me a lot of years to settle on the bi and be 100% happy with it. If you are like me, it may take you a long time to really figure it out, but that is okay. And, does it really matter wether you are straight, bi, or gay, as long as you are happy with yourself and life?

 

[Missouribiguy]

It happens. Hell, I tend to watch more gay porn than either straight or bi. But, i know I am still attracted to women as well as other guys.

 

[Hitchiker69]

Does it really matter? I think you're worrying too much about what to call yourself. Suggestion: Just enjoy sex, with who you want at the time. Be happy that you've already enjoyed some variety, which is more than most folks ever do. Maybe there will be more variety, (gay, bi, straight, groups, whatever) maybe not. Go forward and enjoy a healthy sex life.

 

[Chrissi]

Is it possible? yes, but as said, don't worry about it. Good luck, and congrats for coming out.

 

[PricelessT]

You're not an oddity. It turns out that plenty of people who originally identified as bisexual later identify as gay or lesbian.

According to Rosario, Schrimshaw, Hunter, Braun (2006), they found "evidence of both considerable consistency and change in LGB sexual identity over time." Youths who had identified as both gay/lesbian and bisexual prior to baseline were approximately three times more likely to identify as gay/lesbian than as bisexual at subsequent assessments. Of youths who had identified only as bisexual at earlier assessments, 60–70% continued to thus identify, while approximately 30–40% assumed a gay/lesbian identity over time. Authors suggested that "although there were youths who consistently self-identified as bisexual throughout the study, for other youths, a bisexual identity served as a transitional identity to a subsequent gay/lesbian identity."

That's a little research I wanted to throw out there to you. As others have stated, don't worry about labeling yourself. But when you finally do decide on a label, I'm sure it will be accurate to who you are at that moment in your life.

 

[Eros_1337]

I guess I just like to have some sort of label. Also the fact that being straight was part of my identity for so long, and then I was only half straight, I don't know, it just seems like I'm losing part of myself when I find out that a major part of me was nothing more than an illusion.

Also, I liked my porn. What am I gonna do with all my chick porn that no longer turns me on?

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Hello~

Don't stress over what you no longer feel. I called myself bi for damned near 18 years and it wasn't until I came out to my children's father that I became more fully what I am~bi with a strong preference for women. (People call me lesbiflexible *shrugs* I call me omni/pan. Doesn't matter.)

Stella said it best~your sexuality will change over time. Just take care of yourself and stay safe. As for the straight porn? Give yourself a time limit. (Say one year) If, after that time, it still does nothing for you? Chuck it! It would be silly to keep it if your sexual identity is actually gay male. And if you are truly bi, eventually, you will know it. Just relax, breathe and love yourself.