not really in , not really out

funlady

Experienced
Joined
Aug 12, 2002
Posts
63
I really hate labels always have. But since I've had sex with both and I'm attracted to both I'm bisexual. My close friends know this my husband knows this. None of my casual friends or family know this , I let them assume what they wish.

Sometimes I feel bad though like I'm hiding a part of myself. I live in this small southern town and there are few opportunities locally to support the gay rights and such. If someone cracks a gay joke I just do nothing then I feel guilty.

A town about two hours away has a gay pride day parade I sorta want to go . But I'm not sure I'll fit in , since I'm married to a guy and all.

I'm just feeling really confused is anyone else going through this ? I just feel like I don't fit in the straight world or gay world.:confused:
 
It's very common for bisexuals to feel that way, and unfortunately, the gay community has sometimes been guilty of being intolerant towards bis. That does seem to have changed, for the most part, and except for some extremists, the understanding of commonalities has outweighed our distrust and suspicion.

If you attend the parade, you will be warmly welcomed. I hope you will decide to participate.
 
funlady said:
I really hate labels always have. But since I've had sex with both and I'm attracted to both I'm bisexual. My close friends know this my husband knows this. None of my casual friends or family know this , I let them assume what they wish.

Sometimes I feel bad though like I'm hiding a part of myself. I live in this small southern town and there are few opportunities locally to support the gay rights and such. If someone cracks a gay joke I just do nothing then I feel guilty.

A town about two hours away has a gay pride day parade I sorta want to go . But I'm not sure I'll fit in , since I'm married to a guy and all.

I'm just feeling really confused is anyone else going through this ? I just feel like I don't fit in the straight world or gay world.:confused:

Being a bisexual male, and hating to have to use that label, I know exactly where you're coming from. There is too much bigotry and hatred for gays and bi's in the r/l little world I'm in right now, that I'm forced to be in the closet. Best of wishes for you dear and you're welcome to come here and talk anytime.
 
You could always use the term: Ambisexual

I found it in the psych book I'm using for my daughter's homeschooling.

It also has a sliding scale from 0 (exclusively heterosexual behavior) to 6, (exclusively homosexual behavior).

Most of the bi's I know are about a 2, leaning towards heterosexual more than homosexual.
 
Thats just it I have no idea what I am . I've had two relationships with women both were great , but more sexual friendships than romance. I tend to be romantically and sexually attracted to men , but sexually attracted to women also.

I had a long talk with my husband and he is open to me exploring my sexuality . We have not worked all the details out yet. I'm kinda thinking it feels like "cheating" , but he seems to think since it will be with women it isn't . Or maybe cause its sexual not romantic it isn't.

Has anyone here had an open marriage or an open relationship ?

I think we are just going to go real slow maybe just start with talking sharing fantasies ect..

Thank you all so much for your replies :rose:
 
hello and welcome. I am *ick i hate this label* bisexual...leaning more heavily toward women. I have been involved in polyamorous relationships and for the most part...with honesty and openess, they can be quite fulfilling. If you husband is at least willing to discuss your needs, you are doing better than some...

*whisper*

i am making a list of books for you to send via pm...ok?

kisses
pet:heart:
 
funlady said:
Thats just it I have no idea what I am . I've had two relationships with women both were great , but more sexual friendships than romance. I tend to be romantically and sexually attracted to men , but sexually attracted to women also.

I had a long talk with my husband and he is open to me exploring my sexuality . We have not worked all the details out yet. I'm kinda thinking it feels like "cheating" , but he seems to think since it will be with women it isn't . Or maybe cause its sexual not romantic it isn't.

Has anyone here had an open marriage or an open relationship ?

I think we are just going to go real slow maybe just start with talking sharing fantasies ect..

Thank you all so much for your replies :rose:

I dont want to be the wet blanket here but a lot of guys are going to say they are cool with it in theory but once you really get involved with it they arent so happy about it. So talk it out good and be careful.
 
MzChrista said:
I dont want to be the wet blanket here but a lot of guys are going to say they are cool with it in theory but once you really get involved with it they arent so happy about it. So talk it out good and be careful.

I know I've been thinking about that too jealousy is a scary thing. Then I think maybe he rides off into the sunset with her and I lose a husband and a lover. I doubt it will be something we try soon.
 
funlady said:
I know I've been thinking about that too jealousy is a scary thing. Then I think maybe he rides off into the sunset with her and I lose a husband and a lover. I doubt it will be something we try soon.

It sounds like you got your eyes open and thats a good thing. I hope it works out for you.
 
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