Not real sure why i cant.

[OutLaw_In_Hiding]

Hi, i am hoping to get some answers to some troubling questions. My lovely wife likes to be dominated, tied up, spanked, items inserrted. The problem is, though for a second it sounds like a lot of fun, when it comes right down to the action part of it,,,,, i just cant hit my wife. bind her up, spank her, or any of the things she loves... she is very patient with me.. Do any of you have any ideas as to what i can do, or be thinking about, or anything to help me take these steps. I know after talking with her for hours, this is what she is wanting.... Any Help At All???

 

[MeltformySir]

First of all, you have to take it slow. If you can't cause her pain (yet) then don't. Start small and do things that will gradually lead you up to being able to get more extreme. Lots of us who like pain have found that it gives us happiness and benefits more than anything associated with the physical pain itself. If your wife is like that, going slowly will give you the chance to see this and recognize that you're not hurting her psyche or her soul, you're actually helping her. (Read the "Why Do You Like Pain" thread for more info.)

Also, you sound like the perfect candidate to read a book called The Loving Dominant, I believe by a man named John Wood. (That HAS to be a pseudonym, isn't it?? lolol)

Keep the lines of communication open and start with the non-ouchy things like binding and bondage, and go very.very.slowly. Then you can better figure out if it's a no-go at all for you or not. Good luck, she's very lucky you're willing to try it with her.

 

[MeekMe]

Hi, i am hoping to get some answers to some troubling questions. My lovely wife likes to be dominated, tied up, spanked, items inserrted. The problem is, though for a second it sounds like a lot of fun, when it comes right down to the action part of it,,,,, i just cant hit my wife. bind her up, spank her, or any of the things she loves... she is very patient with me.. Do any of you have any ideas as to what i can do, or be thinking about, or anything to help me take these steps. I know after talking with her for hours, this is what she is wanting.... Any Help At All???

Well, the good news is that you get to have limits. Anything that makes you uncomfortable is something you don't have to do. It sounds like you want to make her happy by doing these things for her. My advice would be to start slow. Do one thing at a time. If she wants to be tied and spanked, maybe just do one to start. It could be as little as slapping her ass while you are giving it to her doggy style. Or you could try just tying her hands and fucking her.

Read this link and think about what you want and what you're willing to do. If you really can't do it, maybe look into a compromise that you can both be ok with.

I would suggest reading the stickies at the top. There is a lot of info up there. Think about safety, perhaps if you know a little more about making your activities safer it'll ease your worries. Aside from that, it's best to know these things before jumping in.

 

[box13]

You can't do it because it isn't something you enjoy? Or are you afraid of hurting her? Do you not, or are you uneasy about, being in control like that?

If those are things she wants, and you've discussed them with her, then you could be thinking about how much she enjoys having you do them. You may realize you have powers to cause her pleasure that you didn't know you had. Of course like a lot of things, it takes some practice before the feeling and the doing make sense.