NOT Changing Your Penis Size

[CWatson]

Does anybody have any advice on how to do this? See, mine keeps growing, and I want it to stop, but I don't know how to do that besides like surgery or something... Does anybody have any...?

...Okay, I admit it, that's all not true. I am joking. But since so many people want to know how to alter penis size, so I thought I had better post a counter-thread to keep balance.

 

[ShyIndependent]

..........

 

[Eilan]

Try reverse jelqing, whatever that is.

I approve of this thread.

 

[Firebrain]

This is what you get for all that swallowing.

 

[Eilan]

A few years ago, I created a similar-ish thread. In my opening post, I took sentences from several old cock size threads and reworked them to make it all about me. I think a few people took it seriously!

 

[shiny5437]

Have you tried beating it back down to size?

 

[Cattypuss]

Have you tried beating it back down to size?

 

[PhxGizmo]

Penis Growth

Good one!

I used to use the line, "I just recoverning from penis reduction surgery," as a conversation starter at bars. Didn't work very well...

I'm now trying, "I used to be a stunt double in porno films." I'll report on those results later...

 

[Eilan]

Marry Lorena Bobbitt and let her take care of it? That might fall under surgery, though. . .

 

[Eilan]

Alternatively, you could just be happy with the size you have, because confidence is sexy.

Unfortunately, if you keep growing, you won't be able to do anything with it.

 

[PertPerth]

How about steriods? I hear that you can get some decent shrinkage happening from those. Else cold water should do the trick.

 

[satindesire]

Dis thread is relevant to mai interests.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Does anybody have any advice on how to do this? See, mine keeps growing, and I want it to stop, but I don't know how to do that besides like surgery or something... Does anybody have any...?

Use a cigar chopper and just nip an inch as necessary to keep that nasty bugger down to a reasonable size.
http://www.notempire.com/images/uploads/cigar.jpg

 

[silverwhisper]

i am morally obligated to rate this thread 5 stars.

ed

 

[Noira]

Try getting Penis Reduction Pills.

(thumbs up) Awesome thread, thanks for making me laugh. XD

 

[NippleMuncher]

Somehow this seems appropriate.

Insert "cock" for spoon ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhdxbtWzX_0

 

[romantic_always]

This is a pretty fantastic thread

I recommend ice cubes in the pants.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Does anybody have any advice on how to do this? See, mine keeps growing, and I want it to stop, but I don't know how to do that besides like surgery or something... Does anybody have any...?

Recommended reading:
http://www.sexyandfunny.com/image_gallery/random-photos-83_39390_46200_full.html

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Get grotesquely obese. I've heard the groin fat takes an inch or so off and with your huge belly in the way, you'll be glad of the extra inches.

 

[satindesire]

Get grotesquely obese. I've heard the groin fat takes an inch or so off and with your huge belly in the way, you'll be glad of the extra inches.

And the bonus is that you'll be too tired and sore and sick to have sex! Then you won't have to worry about having a HUGE shlong.

Shlong. Did I spell that right? Firefox is redlining it but I doubt it's in the FF dictionary....

 

[Cattypuss]

I think you'll find it's "schlong".

 

[satindesire]

I think you'll find it's "schlong".

It's still redlining Schlong. >_< FF is stupid when it comes to slang.

But if that's the accepted spelling of the weirdest word for 'Penis' out there, I'll take it.

 

[CWatson]

It's still redlining Schlong. >_< FF is stupid when it comes to slang.

But if that's the accepted spelling of the weirdest word for 'Penis' out there, I'll take it.

It's not the weirdest. I'm pretty sure that honor goes to "garglewung".

 

[Eilan]

I think you'll find it's "schlong".

Unless it's attached to testosterone1. Then it's a "schlort."

 

[satindesire]

It's not the weirdest. I'm pretty sure that honor goes to "garglewung".

aw, come ON...you totally made that up!!!

Unless it's attached to testosterone1. Then it's a "schlort."

*snooooort!*