Not aloud to Cum :(

[BareBackRider]

Hi,
This is my first story to be posted and it's totaly true. about me experiementing while away from my wife for 3 weeks with a "no cumming" rule until we meet again (1 week from now).

Please let me know what u think.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=90714

 

[gauchecritic]

I enjoyed reading your story, the descriptions were good (except the wholly pointless first couple of paras. Maybe put that in italics, as an intro of sorts)

There were a few mistakes I noticed 'horney' for horny and 'sided' for sides. The thing that really threw me though and here's the thing, being able to be quite so 'vigorous' about your self arousal without and having no intention of, making yourself 'cum'.

Somehow it didn't quite work, especially with the pre-cum deal. There was quite good build up and anticipation and then... nothing.

That's how it left me too.

However, don't let this put you off. Write more.

Gauche

 

[BareBackRider]

thanks for the feed back dude.

yeah I know about the no climax thing but the thing is, thats how it happend. Thats the problem with a true story I guess.

Thanks again.