Not a happy camper..or leaving the nest!

[Thumper]

I am bummed....

Yesterday had to be one of the worst days I have bben through....and at the same time a great day.

My daughter, my little girl, went away to college. We loaded up her stuff, took her down and set her up in her dorm. When it came time to leave(they shoo all the parents out at five PM) the confident mature kickass and take names young lady we had brought down was gone and a scared little girl stood in her place. They were to leave for orientation in a few minutes and she was crying...I had to hug her and tell her everything was going to be alright...when all I really wanted to do was load her up and take her back home and take care of her. I had to turn and walk away without looking back...(I would have lost it if I did) I felt like the worst person in the world. I felt like I was abandoning her...I know she feels very alone right now. Far from home and everything she knows and has known. There comes a time when protecting them is unwise......

I realize that there comes a time when the hatchlings must leave the nest....don't have to like it. It is the start of a new life and the closing of another...I know she will do well....we gave the world a person who cares about it and the people in it....someone who will try to make it a better place..

I know very soon she will move out of our sphere of influence and become totally independent. That is the goal but Damnit I want my little girl back!

She doesn't know yet the immensity of the step she is taking...that is why I couldn't let her see me cry. I had to make this step seem a small one and as such not a big deal.***** is scary enough and growing up is a hard thing to do....But I know she will be OK...I will still fight some of her battles for her...until she learns to wield the sword.

Ok enough of my venting....Just needed that..

 

[Naked Hunny]

OH god he cries too.....

I cant say i understand where you are coming from but to make you feel better i cried my daughters first day at daycare ::sitting here going oh my god im young enough to be in college with Thumpers daughter:: OH yes god you cry.. God i want you you have long hair, wear leather and cry!!! Ever consider a relationship with a 20 yr old!!!????

 

[Wizard]

Thumper,That is truely a bummer. My daughter is still young and I don't think I would do very well myself.....I has got to be so hard to see them off. I feel your pain and don't look forward to when my time comes too.....They grow up so fast....Be strong and what you have taught her will pay off,I'm sure if she is as you say she will do just fine.

 

[Siren]

Thumpie my pet.........

 

[Wizard]

Nice thought Siren, I like that, and bet she would too.

 

[Siren]

Ah Gee Thanks Wizzie.......

 

[Skitten]

Thumper;
I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. I am not there yet and I am not ready for it. My son is 11 and daughter 7 and I see how fast they are growing up. It is the hardest to let them go. We as parents pray that we raised them well enough to do good out in this world. Remember that she always had daddy no matter how old she gets.

You did a good job with her and it is scary because we have protected our children for so long and now we have to just let them go. They do not cover that in the parenting books that is the hard part.

Siren gave you a good suggestion and try to send her a warm gretting. And try feeling better that you did your best and you will always be her daddy and she knows that you will always be there for her. And help her out and that is what is important.

 

[Skibum]

Hey, Thumper, i've been through it twice already, and doing it again next week. It does NOT get any easier. My boys are going to school 1500 miles from home, and won't be home 'til Christmas.

Of course I get to make their rooms into an office and gym now!

 

[Isabella Thorne]

My darling Thumper .. how sad i am to see you like this.

Your daughter is very lucky to have a wonderful father like you ... and you are truly blessed to have a loving daughter like her. You will always have each other dear ... no matter how many miles you are apart. <big hugs>

 

[Cheri]

What a great idea, making that heartwarming post a Hallmark moment. It might be best to wait a bit to send it to her though. Maybe waiting until Christmas when she's home after a great semester and can't wait to go back and get away from the parentals again would be a better idea. Otherwise it might end up making everyone miss each other more and college freshman have enough adjusting to do. Instead send her some cool hot new clothes cause there's nothing like male attention to make you forget your troubles. Or if you don't like that idea(mean daddy), maybe some kinda cool treat to share with her roommates.

 

[Cheyenne]

Wow. You made ME cry and I don't even have kids.

I agree with the rest of the gang. That was a beautiful post- copy it and give it to her. Maybe not now, but the Christmas idea is good. It truly shows how much you love your daughter and should be shared.

 

[Nexxus]

Thumpster,
My wife and her Father are like two peas in a pod. I have come to accept that she will not be just like her Mom, which many people say you can gauge what your Wife will be like when she's older, but that she is the exact duplicate of her Father. This has alot of benefits. Her Father has instilled many, many important and well respected traits in her. He is the most persistent and hard working man I know. He taught her how to be independent and follow through on everything thing she does and never to give up. I am sure, beyond any doubt you have given your Daughter wisdom and qualities that no one else ever can, and that when things get difficult in school, she will remember what her Dad told her or think about what her Dad would have done, to get her through. She is lucky and I am sure she knows it as much as you know how lucky you are to have a daughter who wanted her parents there with her as she took the next step in her life.
When my Father-in-law "gave my Wife away" at our wedding, I saw a certain look in his eyes. He has two other children, whom I am sure he loves immensely, but his bond with my wife is much stronger. He looked at her and you just knew he was feeling safe in the fact that he trusted her to always be there, and she has. Trust your Daughter to always be there Thump, she will pay you back 100 times over and she will make you proud. Stay in touch and offer to help, not just to "do." And like Siren said, write it down, she'll love being able to blackmail you with it when she needs things!! (ha,ha)
Really though, good luck and hang tough. My little monster is going to start kindergarten in a few weeks and I am panicking. I am sure you would have a bundle of "don't worry's" and "you'll see's" for me as I stand at that bus stop wonder who if anyone will come back to me that first day. But what is life, if not filled with anxiety and care?
Be well and let us know how she does!!

Nex

 

[Jade]

Thumper,

What a sweet post.... it brought back memories of when I first started college.

I will never forget... I was SO excited but it was really hard on my parents.
I remember driving away (I was going out of state) and my mother was crying and I felt so bad. I wasn't crying and was doing okay, until I left my hometown and on the radio the song: "The first time ever I saw your face" (Roberta Flack?) comes on the radio.
Well, that made me think of my mother and how it was for her after she had given birth to me and looked at the face of her daughter for the first time... and how hard it must have been for her to watch me grow and then have to let go... and I realized 17 years for her probably had went by a lot faster than it had for me... and that was when my own tears started flowing.

Saying goodbye, ANY kind of goodbye is hard... I am still not all that great at that.

 

[CreamyLady]

Thumper, sometimes it seems that parents have a series of separation traumas.

For the mother, it is expelling the little parasite from the body, and realizing that the passenger isn't THERE anymore.

When they have to go to daycare, and cry piteously, so you drive off to work feeling like the worst kind of traitor.

When they decide they won't cry anymore, and run happily into preschool, and you cry all the way to work.

When they announce they can read a story all by themselves.

When they say they'd rather not go to the movies with you; they want to hang with their friends.

When they go to college, brave and excited, but underneath they are still the same baby you've watched go away from the beginning.

Big hug, Thumper. You will both get through it, and realize that somehow, they never quite leave completely.

 

[Thumper]

Thanks!!

Thanks to you all for your words...It is much better now..she is starting to have some fun and they keep her busy. I, on the other hand have way too much time to think everyday...Not much else to do sitting in a truck for 11 hours. It is much easier knowing that she is adjusting to it..

To all of you who have this ahead of them...Don't even think about blinking...time flys...

Good idea Siren and Cheri....got it saved and will wait to send it....maybe put it in her Christmas stocking.

Now I think I will go climb some mountain, sit on a cushion ...and wait for the lost souls seeking wisdom to ask me, ..."Hey pops, ya got a restroom up here?"

Love ya all...

 

[Nexxus]

That's "y'all" Thump. Careful or Simply Southern might find you and teach you Southerese the hard way!!

Nex

 

[Dreamer1]

Thumper, great thread but you just about made me cry dammit! I have two sweet, adorable little girls. They are much younger but your post made me drift into their future and those sad yet happy moments I will have to look forward to. This dad is thinking about you man! Your daughter is thinking about you as well and will continue to make you proud.

[Edited by Dreamer1 on 08-19-2000 at 06:28 PM]

 

[Aranian]

Interesting. No teary-eyed farewells for me, just some grunts and a "do your best" in the same tone of voice as they use to order a pizza over the phone. I wonder how my new roommate will take it when he finds out that not only do I visit porno literature sites but I write the stuff too.

"Oh, and by the way, among other things I download pics of naked women and write bestiality stories in my spare time."

Hmm. His classes start two hours before mine. I suppose I could keep these aspects of my life descrete...