North Pole Confidential

[ariosto]

OOC...a little Holiday farce from Chanaud and I.
(closed thread)


FLASH!...After a lightning courtship Santa Clause, aka Kris Kringle, Saint Nick, Father Christmas etc. was married yesterday to Miss Amber Waves, up and coming adult cinema starlet and featured performer at the Purple Pony Gentleman's Club just outside of Reno Nevada. The brief ceremony was held at the
Day And Night Wedding Chapel under the auspices of Reverand Wilmer Bragh. Witnessing for the couple was Santa's bodyguard
and dwarf wrestler Rutger Nibbs.

The former Mrs. Clause now a resident of the Ultima Thule Assisted Living Residence, had this to say...
"The old fool is in his dotage. I hope he gets the clap."
....The Polar Gazette


TROUBLE IN THE TOY SHOP?...Informed sources have told us that a certain 'Jolly Old Elf' has been spending WAY too much time preparing for this years record breaking season of conspicuous consumption, leaving his very own 'Barbie Doll' to play with icicles!
Whose icicles you ask?...Candidates abound with all those randy elves about but were putting our money on a certain dwarf whose icicle we're told is a very very big one indeed.
Stay tuned...
The Eskimo Inquirer





Rutger slammed the paper down on the table, nearly upsetting his stein of grog and glared out the window at the busy elves below.
How in the hell had they found out!?

The phone rang...probably the old man wanting the latest production numbers on the "PMS Barbie" run. There were high hopes that this one would salvage the rapidly declining female pubescent 'still beleive in Santa' pool.
The Boss just hated to lose anyone...

It rang again.
He picked up...
"Nibbs here, all's well down in the 'snake pit'."


"Rut, it's me. Have you seen the paper !!!!?"
It wasn't 'the Man' after all.
He sighed, Amber Clause was obviously close to hysteria

 

[chanaud]

Life at the North Pole was anything but jolly. Santa, the ole’ fuck turned out to be exactly that – an old fuck. He refused to partake in any male enhancements, despite her amorous encouragements. And boy, had she tried. Everything. From slipping viagras into his eggnogs to installing a glass pole in the middle of their bedroom to even sporting an elf’s suit. But nothing seemed to work. He seemed to prefer spending time down at the workshop.

She could have overcome that, only if it hadn’t leaked to the news media. And they’ve been having a field day of it, ever since Santa threw that old bat into a nursing home. They’ve even went as far as to blaming their marriage on the economy. And to make matters worse, someone had leaked to the media of her extracurricular activities.

“Have you seen the paper????” Amber screamed into the phone.

Rutger Nibbs rolled his eyes and held the phone away from his ear. Unfazed he continued to stare at the surveillance tv’s surrounding his desk.

“I’ve got guys working on it right now.” He responded while his hand dropped to his lime green tights and adjusted his sac.

“Working on it? Who in the hell would make up such lies about me? Me???” She cried again, tears rolled down her porcelain skin.

“I dunno, babe. But whoever it is…. I’m going to bash his head in and ....”

“Get up here. Now.” Amber demanded. She paused, and then continued. “And bring a friend up.”

“Right away.” Rutger jumped up from his leather seat and away from the surveillance cameras. When he stepped out of his office, he turned to the stocky elfin bodyguard.

“Come. The missus saw the headlines and she's demading our presence.” He said with a wink.

 

[ariosto]

Sometimes it was one elf, sometimes it was two or three, sometimes it was even a reindeer. Her tastes were becoming more and more bizarre. Once...only a few months ago...she'd been satisfied with him alone. She'd liked his dwarfen roughness,
called him her hip pocket Schwarzenager, and giggled when he'd given her a good nose job, a dwarven specialty.
Then as the novelty of a three foot , five inch lover paled, she'd taken to 'requesting' the presence of one of the 'lily pure' elves to witness their debauchery and finally of late to debauch the pointy eared innocent herself.
Rutger was quite sure that it was one of the greenclad minions that they'd corrupted who'd spilled the beans. Elves never knew when to shut up.
This one was no exception...
"Where are we going Mister Nibbs?...I have to finish my quota you know...I cant disapoint Santa."

Buttsucking little bastard...
"Shutup and follow me dammit. This won't take long."

Amber was standing in the doorway when they arrived at the
the Claus residence. She was wearing a jauntily cocked red cap and a white fur ruff around her neck that fell between her full coral tipped breasts all the way to her shaven pubes.

"Oh gee!" cried the elf, "I better get back to the shop!"
Rutger kicked him in the door and slammed it.
"Pretty bold aren't we...right here in the house during working hours?"

"Oh hush my little Torito and come here..I need some comforting."
She stepped closer and her hands caressed his bald dome. Her hips arched up and he found himself eye to eye with her glistening smooth sex.
Oh God....

He pressed the little pearl with the tip of his nose and then slid the formidable probiscus between her warm thighs, rubbing the swollen length of her petaled slit. She was wet.
He was hard...the elf cowering in the corner was terrified.

 

[chanaud]

Rutger brought a good one, Amber couldn’t help noticing as she threw her long, bleached hair back. The elf cowering in the corner was just how she liked them -- short, stocky with long, elongated ears pointing to the sky.

“What yer name, elfie?” She asked him, her voice husky with desire.

The cowering elf, shaking with fear whimpered.

“Rutgie…tell me your little friend’s name?”

“Answer her, dammit!” Rutger lifted his head momentarily, his beard glistening with her wetness.

Still no answer came from the third party.

Feeling Amber tense with aggravation, Rutger stopped and walked over to the elf. His hands were balled into tiny fists; he lifted his green felt sleeves..

“Aghhh…Horace! My name is Horace! Don’t hit me!”

Rutger grabbed his pointy ear and dragged him to Amber.

“Horace, did you say?” She purred while stroking his face gently. “My little Horace, my little Horsey…”

The gleam in her eye was enough to spark Rutger again. He has recognized it before, and he knew exactly what she wanted.

He was back in action, betwixt her legs. Horace tried to back away, but Amber was too quick for him. Somehow she had managed to untie her white fur boa from her neck and was whipping it in the air. A few full circles and it whipped around his neck, pulling him backwards. Surprisingly the soft fur stung. He screamed out in pain.

“Come here, Horsey. I’m not through with you yet..”

Poor, poor Horace. He couldn’t breathe. His face was being smothered by her 38DD implants.


Meanwhile…..

Downstairs, far from the workshop basement, there were ten pipers pipping while one lone piper was gleaming into a surveillance camera while stroking his pipe manically…

 

[ariosto]

Rutger shifted the weight on his herculean haunches, the better to support the smothering elf on his shoulders and grabbing the firm round globes of Amber's award winning ass, proceeded to thrust his nose right up her fragrant honeybox.
She cooed and mewed and freed Horace's head enough to point his trembling lips at the high pointed nubbin atop her right breast.

"What do you want of me?" The pointy eared one quavered while trying to maintain his balance astride the rocklike Nibbs.

"Oh hee's sooooo sweet, Rutgie. He's precious!"
She squirmed another inch down the dwarfs torpedo shaped probiscus.
Breathing through his mouth the mighty midget managed to gasp...
"The shops full of 'em, endentured servants from Oz, good workers...grateful too...they're all starving back home..."
He paused, took a breath...
"Now suck her tits dammit!"

The reluctant elf took a tentative lick at each proffered berry then slapped his lips on the left one and did as he was told.

Rutger felt her lithe body tense as the elven magic went to work and wished again that he had been born a fey creature like Horace rather than a mishapen hippocket Goliath.

Milk and honey flowed deliciously from Amber's suckled orbs as the wee ones magical powers percolated between them. Each pulsing squirt of warm fluid manna sent shivers of arousal through her body and managed to stiffen the long slender rod of the elf at her teats.

Down below, Rut was driving his schnoz deeper and deeper into the tight shuddering cunnie above him and even though the novelty of nasal sex had worn thin, found his own rod growing into the fearsome thing that all males of his species wielded when aroused.
Amber Claus called it her very own 'Jack's Bean Stalk'. He called it a damn nuisance.
With a loud ripping sound it parted another pair of his leathern breeches and began climbing up the long quivering length of
the ladies silken thighs...

*************************************************

Far below in the surveillance room, the elves were lined up ten deep behind the flickering monitors and one by one taking out their own wands to stroke.
Many were as green with envy as their tight fitting jackets and wondering why..oh why had Nibbs the Ogre selected a gay elf to
the orgy.

 

[chanaud]

As soon as Amber heard the tights tearing, she moaned loudly. She was wet and ready, her legs were spread wide waiting for Rutgers dwarf sized cock. And their little friend, Horace who seemed reluctant at first was picking up speed. His lips gripped her nipple and hung up tightly as her body squirmed and rolled with sheer ecstasy.

What she couldn’t see was that Horace was wielding a boner larger than Rutgers. His tights had burst and were looking for anything…anything…aaghhhhh he found it….

Rutgers grunted upon penetration. His three inch cock was small in size, but made up in girth. It was twice as thick! With rapid speed, he humped away like a piston. He was so involved that he didn’t even notice the feet on his shoulders and….

“Oh Babbyyyyyyyy….what the fuck???”” He called out.

There was something jamming into his ear. He squirmed to bat the annoying pest away. Above him, Horace was hanging on for dear life. His teeth clenched on the massive breasts before his face, but his hips couldn’t stop humping. It felt too good. So warm…so moist…so tight!

Unaware of the strange current of events before her, Amber was losing herself into another mind blowing orgasm…..

 

[ariosto]

'No fucking pointy eared goddammed elf is gonna jack off in my ear!"
With a shake of his powerful shoulders, Rutger sent the frail sprite flying into the wall, where he struck with a bang, slid down and lay as inert as lime pudding on the floor, only his graceful wand swaying above him showed a sign of life.

"Rut you cad!, look what you've done!"
Amber ran to the unconcious elf and immediately began stroking his forehead and foreskin, getting no response from one but a powerful twitching from the other.
"Oh look...it's still so lively even though poor Horace...isn't."

"If you like that broomstick so much why don't you sit on it then!"
Nibbs looked down at his own throbbing member which had proportions somewhere between a tunafish can and a mason jar.
It scared most women, human or elf to death, but was considered a near legend back in Grueheim amongst the dwarven damsels who practicaly stood in line to play with it.
When he looked up again he wasn't surprised at all to see what the lusty Mrs. Claus was doing with Horace and aimed his stocky weapon at the most inviting oriface that Amber didn't currently have occupied.