Non-Silly Ass Thread 2 - Looking Backwards

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I've always known that in certian social situations that I will just not do well. Not because I can't hold court, I can, I just find that I'm not that interested in chit-chat.

As a writer I tend to be horribly introspective, always disecting and looking for answers in the past. As a rule, however, people tend to like people who look forward, because they seem more confident and ambitious.

Do you find that you prefer to talk more about the future, or the past?

 

[Bobtoad777]

Wow, this is to deep. Since admitting to my hypothyroid induced depresion, i been thinking along these line and find, I talk way more about past events than looking forward to the good things to come. Kind of scary.

 

[Ticklish Girl]

Every member of my family can remember word-for-word every fight they ever had with someone, and they never, ever, let go of a grudge, no matter how small. Even if the other person was dead, he still somehow lived on because the ancient grudge lived on. In my house there was no such thing as a distant past. I grew up surrounded by people who were very much centered in the past, and so I have inherited that mindset. The future has always seemed a little vague to me, even unreal. It's only in recent years that I've begun to realize how much that outlook has cost me. Even so, I still think I would rather talk about the past, especially since so much in it remains unresolved. And I long ago lost my taste for superficial chit chat.

I know my therapist would prefer me to talk about the past -- I'm probably making her rich!

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Hey Dix,

right with you on the idle chit-chat shit. Can't ever, ever feel comfortable with it. Sales shit ya know? It's actually held me back - every where. Profession, personal shit, even the kids - can't discuss insincere bullshit, just can't. Rather wallflower it with a scotch. Will open my big mouth at the drop of a hat for any discussion pertinent to anything even relatively important though.

Future or past though - I can do both - or together. Just has to mean something to me worth discussing.

 

[CreamyLady]

My own introspection ranges from the past into the here and now far into the future. My inner telescope, or microscope, is future oriented as well; I love to examine and count the possibilities.

As for parties, I enjoy them with people that I know; I'm not particularly fond of landing in a roomful of strangers. Should that happen, you can find me in a corner near the bookcase being quiet.

Unless a friend tells them of my card-reading talents, and I end up doing tarot readings all evening.

 

[TonyG]

I guess I have a preference to talk most about the present. However, I enjoy talking equally about the past and the future.

 

[Cheri]

Both my good man! The future because it is an exciting place. Hey I know I for one am still hoping to travel to the moon sometime during my lifetime. Hey, I'm only 30, a girl can dream!
The past because when I discuss it, I'm trying to make a connection with someone. It's the accumulation of all the past events and my perception of these past events that have made me who I am today. I remember seeing Madonna on Oprah to publicize her Ray Of Light cd and she said something I found ludicrous, that she didn't want to talk about any other songs except the ones on this new cd. When she said that the thought entered my head that she wanted to erase who she was before now even though it's not possible. I know eveybody has things they'd rather not remember from their past, but even those can't be negated.

 

[teresafannin]

It depends on the situation & who I am with. When meeting new people, I tend to not say much until I feel comfortable. I don't go out much, it is difficult because a lot of people recognize me & don't know what to say. With old friends, I can talk about everything. I am not great at parties & things like that, we tend to stay home a lot because I don't do well in large crowds.

 

[Countess DeWinter]

Introspective to a fault. *sigh* But I'm aware of it and take steps to combat it.

 

[naudiz]

I've tried idle chit-chat. I fall flat on my face every time. Doesn't matter if it's RL, online, whatever. Anything after "Nice weather we're having." and I'm at a total loss. Get started on a topic I actually care about and know something about, and I become really animated. Unfortunately, those are topics are few and far between in casual conversation. A lot of the time, I say nothing. It doesn't mean I don't care, or that I'm not friendly, or that I'm not listening. In chit-chat, I have nothing to say and if I try to fake it, it's like that moment in a conversation where everyone goes quiet just as you say something incredibly stupid so it rings out loud and clear. What can I say, I'm talented.

I tend to look at the past more than the future. I try to make sense of it all, how we got from our earliest origins to where we are today. I'm looking for some pattern, some key insight into what the hell happened. I examine my own life constantly because I want to understand. I don't have a compelling reason as to why. It's the way my mind works - always has, always will. I am aware of the irony of one who never questions why one always questions.

I enjoy writing, because I can state things that, if I said them aloud in a crowded room or posted them on a discussion board I would sound like an idiot, but on paper (or screen) they are called eloquent. Fiction is a medium in which I can express the deepest truths I know. Introspective? Let me ponder that for a fortnight and I'll get back to you. A part of me will always miss not being the bubbly giggly girl who lights up the room, but c'est la vie.

 

[lilfrk]

Right now I'm looking to the past. Trying to figure out what the hell I did. And why my dad can't seem to remember me or see fit to put me at least in the top 10 of things that matter to him. I have been wondering that for 28 years and I'm sure I will keep wondering it until one of us dies. Usually I'm not like this. Usually I can talk to anyone about anything. Chit chat or not. Past of future it doesn't matter.

 

[KillerMuffin]

The past is horrifically ugly, but one learns from it if one pays attention to it. No one ever claimed I was that smart, except me. I do lie. *sigh* I hate my past, that's why the VA gets to pay for my therapy bills now. I prefer the present, it's less scary, but if I must, then the future. It's not so bad, I can fake it. I'm introspective and analytical to a fault. It doesn't help that I'm a good study of human nature and very perceptive as well. There are sleeping dogs I would prefer to let lie and dragons I tend to pick fights with. Not you Cyan.

Though not nearly as good as I'd like to think I am, I consider myself a writer. As such, I start in the past then create a present with hints of the future. My writing is all firmly grounded in the characters past, since we are made by our pasts.

 

[TN_Vixen]

I've always known that in certian social situations that I will just not do well. Not because I can't hold court, I can, I just find that I'm not that interested in chit-chat.

As a writer I tend to be horribly introspective, always disecting and looking for answers in the past. As a rule, however, people tend to like people who look forward, because they seem more confident and ambitious.

Do you find that you prefer to talk more about the future, or the past?

DCL.. without having read any of the responses... I'm the type of person who looks backwards and encourages any one I meet to do so and share. Knowing that the future is uncertain is pat, but taking initiative to probe into a person's past enough to draw them into conversation could only result in a life lesson.... and give an insight into that person's psyche.

I'm impressed when people with whom I interact open up about their past and reveal experiences and thoughts gained.

 

[Whispersecret]

I hate chitchat, probably because I suck at it. Most people dislike stuff they're not good at. I'm a writer too. I analyze everything. I probably would have made a good therapist. As far as talking? I also have a pretty bad event memory, meaning someone can ask, "Remember when we did such and such?" And I'll have to say, "Not really." Still, I think I probably enjoy talking about the past, present and future. I have big dreams.

 

[Wil_E_Harden]

Looking Backwards - the book

Hmmm ... I KNOW this is the title of a "dystopian" book, and I keep thinking it is by the same guy who wrote "Erewhon," but ... well, darnit, it has been 34 years since that college class where I read it. This ain't a"senior moment" as much as a discovery there's a black hole inna memory ....

As an optimist I look forward. As an historian, I am trained to examine the past and have even gotten paid to do that. In conversations I find it is difficult to escape telling stories about things past, but usually with some sort of relevant tie to the present topic.

As a writer ... gee, everything goes into the pot. Looking forward and wondering how things will shake out is always more fun when it's informed by awareness of the past. Most sci-fi for the past 30 years has been developed on the bones of history.

 

[RonG]

Not a great chit-chatter myself, but a pretty good storyteller (much better than my writing skills) with a combo Midwest/Southern accent. I really think it is more of a side effect of too much Type A personality - if I am talking, I am in charge. If not, I feel less comfortable. I do a whole lot better conversationally in small groups.

As far as looking backwards, I probably do more of that than talking about the future. I have had a fairly colorful life and stuff creeps in. Not in the DCL, publicly recognized sort of way, but more due to a fairly decent memory of places and people I have encountered. Lifestyles of the Indigent and Infamous.