Non-erotic story?

[The Jeffinator]

I am in the process of writing a story that will end up being a series of novels. It is not erotic, however, it is a magical fantasy adventure. Before I get it published, do you think I should submit it to the non-erotic section of the site and see how people like it? I'm just curious what everyone's opinion is.

The story takes place in the magical kingdom of Zangaard, which has been hidden from the outside world for nearly a century. Upon his deathbed, King Aldon gives the crown to Korda, the son of his daughter. However, a man named Jironus, who is the son of Aldon's firstborn, is supposed to be crowned king -- it's his birthright. However, as Aldon falls farther and farther into death's waiting arms, he is able to see a dark aura around Jironus, and thus gives power to Korda.

Well, Jironus is not happy and eventually he tries to sabotage Korda's kinghood ceremony, and for that is arrested. After a few violent encounters occur, Korda finally sentences Jironus to death, but he manages to escape, and what does he take with him? The Golden Orb, which is the kingdom's most sacred object.

With the power of the Orb, Jironus is able to hide himself from them, and they are forced to give up the hunt. But that is the least of their worries now, for it is revealed that if the Orb is not returned to it's altar, the kingdom will slowly begin to lose it's power.

They discover that the Orb was created by the Ancients, using Stardust.

The story basically chronicles their search for the hidden temple of the Ancients, where legend says they left a supply of stardust.

So, what are you views? Should I submit it to the non-erotic section?

 

[bisexplicit]

There might be other sites that have nonerotic fiction which would be better to submit it to (I don't know of any off hand, though, but I'm sure they exist).

The only reason I suggest this is that I think that there aren't that many people who read the nonerotic stories on this site.

Although, you could go ahead and submit it here for feedback, and also look for some other sites whose emphasis isn't erotic work, and submit it there as well.

 

[Guest]

IMO you might try posting it as fantasy with the notice at the top that it isn't erotic...But that's just a suggestion.

 

[Sean Renaud]

That seems a little dishonest. You'd probably get a lot of really bad reviews just because somebody "wasted" there time on a non erotic story. The other reason I wouldn't post here before publishing is simply that while your story may not be plagerized completely there are no doubt people who would love to glean some very good stuff from your work. But that is my personal fear.

 

[The Jeffinator]

Thanks all. And if people want to use ideas from my story, they can go right ahead. All the best stories in the world are made up of ideas from exisiting stories.

But I'm not scared about someone copying my work entirely -- my work is copyrighted, and severe consequences await the person who copies my work in full.

 

[Sean Renaud]

While new ideas are exceedingly rare I don't believe that there are NO original ideas left. But more than that as has been proven just a few years ago with the Da Vinci Code and I forget the title of the book that plagerized it if you change a few things you can get away with it. And it happens all the time in comic books. Black Cat on Spiderman is Catwoman. Hell Stan Lee even admitted it but said she eventually evolved into her own charachter. And suffered no consequences. There are ways around a copyright for anyone smart enough to care. Now honestly most of the people smart enough to work around it are honest enough not to (I hope) but I would still be nervous about posting something I intended to publish in its entirety here.

With that said I would love to read your work. Being an author with a paralel goal to yours. And who will be in need of editors sooner than later I know exactly what you mean.

 

[The Jeffinator]

Thanks. Yea, Black Cat is a lot like Cat Woman. The only real difference is the way the powers work -- for instance, Cat Woman was killed and then revived by the spirits of cats. Black Cat was Felicia Hardy, a normal girl who took a special serum creasted by her father that made her grow muscles, get a little taller, and change her hair from blonde to white.

However, the basic idea of cat-like flexibility was the same.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Actually in the original comics Catwoman didn't die but that is neither here nor there. Both of them use whips, both of them are cat burglers, both of them are anti-heroes in love with the protagonist of the story. Like I said Jim Lee didn't even try to lie he just said that the charachter eventually evolved into her own persona.

 

[The Jeffinator]

Jim Lee... I know of Stan Lee, who co-authored most of Marvel's heroes. It's funny, originally he came up with Spider-man and it was rejected. His publisher said that a highschool kid could only be a sidekick. Then Lee got the chance to publish his story under the Amazing Adult Fantasy comics, as the last issue. People loved it, and soon Amazing Spider-Man hit store shelves. However, my favorite Spider-Man series is Ultimate Spider-Man, which takes place in modern day. Peter still works after school at the Daily Bugle, but not as a photographer, as a web designer.

Anyway, here is the first four pages of chapter one, so you can tell me what you think of my story. But know that this is somewhat like a prequel, leading up to the main journey.

He knew he could not outrun them forever, but he had hoped, that just maybe, he would be able to live among these people a little longer. He had grown so used to them, even marrying one of their own and then his new bride was with child.

Even though he knew the union was forbidden, he put himself above the law that referenced the act of physically interfering with humans’ lives as strictly prohibited. He didn’t care -- he had fallen in love with the woman named Marla from the moment he had laid his eyes upon her jet black hair, beautiful as the night sky, her dark blue eyes, which seemed to be wise beyond their years, and her wonderful smile, a smile that could warm even the coldest of hearts.

Marla was the princess of Zangaard, and her father accepted her new husband with open arms and a warm heart, though not even he could predict what would happen in the following year.

Before young Korda ever reached his first month of life, his father vanished. He had been there the night before, asleep in his bed, yet with the rising of the morning sun came the realization that he was gone -- for good.

Elsewhere in the world, not too far from the hidden kingdom of Zangaard, a young man was walking through the forest, calling out for someone.

“Kasuke!” he called, “Kasuke, where are you?”

There was nothing. And then came the sound of deep breathing, and a giant beast, cloaked by the shadows, stared down at the man with bright green eyes that had slits for pupils.

“So Karamu The Great has finally come for help,” laughed the creature. “You know as well as I do that the Elders will find you no matter what. No one can help you.”

“I have a plan. A plan not even the Elders will see coming,” stated the young man, his long black hair tied back.

“This is foolish, Karamu. No plan will work against them.”

He just smiled. “A child has been born of the Forbidden Union…”

Kasuke’s eyes stared at Karamu with a combination of shock and fear, and then his scaled lips curled into a smile.

“And so, it begins…”

The sudden disappearance of Marla’s husband was a shock to all who had known him. He had been one of the greatest warriors to have ever stepped foot within the walls of the hidden kingdom of Zangaard, and had earned much respect. Even the king himself regarded the man as an invaluable asset to their forces.

The man was very reluctant to speak his real name aloud, claiming that it was a name given to him by his evil uncle. Within Zangaard, he was known as Gladius, which was a word from the Script of the Ancients meaning “Sword of Light”.

After the courageous rescue of the infant Prince Jironus -- grandson of King Aldon -- Gladius became known as Gladius The Brave. Brave indeed, however many now considered him a coward for vanishing just a few weeks after the birth of his son Korda.

Many might have lost faith in Gladius The Brave, save for one: his beloved wife Marla. She could not -- or perhaps would not -- accept the fact that he would abandon them. She sat in the garden near the entrance to the castle courtyard every morning, fully expecting Gladius to come running to her and embrace her.

She sat on a stone bench, for perhaps the fifth week in a row, staring hopefully at the gates. Her jet black hair was tied into a ponytail in the back, with a few stray strands of hair hanging over her dark blue eyes. She did not see them though; she saw nothing of the garden, only the gates, where her eyes were fixed, as they had been every morning for five weeks.

She held her hands together in her lap, as if praying, praying for Gladius’ return. She would always dress up in a light blue skirt and matching blouse, not wanting to look like a wreck when Gladius returned. Plus blue had been his favorite color.

This day was different, however. This day, she was torn from her gaze by the screams of a young woman, screams that traveled over the courtyard from the east wing.

“Oh my!” Marla gasped, then ran for the castle; the east wing was the nursery, the same nursery that her son Korda was in at that very moment.

She burst into the foyer, made a sharp right turn, and dashed down a long corridor and into the nursery. A few tables and chairs near the fireplace were ablaze, engulfed by flames that crackled.

Without a word, Marla helped the nanny evacuate the children -- all being offspring of castle nobles. Then they called for a wizard, who was able to extinguish the fire with a water spell.

“Tania, what were you thinking?!” scolded Marla. “Have you gone mad? Why on earth would you light the fireplace without the safety grate up? And it’s not even cold out.”

“Princess Marla,” said the nanny with quivering tones, “there was no fire! I swear it! We were painting, and Korda tried to grab some of the paint himself, and I figured he was too young and he might swallow it, so I took it away from him and he started crying and then the room heated up and then the fireplace burst alive! I swear it!”

“Slow down, slow down. You’re speaking as fast as a child who has had too much sugar.”

Tania repeated her words, slower yet still rapid, and Marla looked at her suspiciously.

“I swear it, Milady!”

“Do you honestly expect me to believe that little Korda conjured flames from an empty fireplace? Really now, it is quite dishonest to try and blame your mistakes on someone else.”

“But Milady! I swear it! I swear on my mother’s grave that what I say is true!” she cried.

“Tania,” replied Marla with regret apparent in her voice, “under these circumstances, I have no choice but to request that a new nanny be appointed. I have nothing against you, but I must be certain the children are in safe hands. I’m sorry…”

Tania ran down the corridor, weeping lightly, and vanished around a corner. Marla let out a deep sigh, then walked over to the room that they had evacuated the children too. She picked up Korda and held him close.

“Aunt Marla, we heard what you said,” spoke a young boy of about five. He had black hair just like the rest of the family, being the son of Marla’s brother Jeriko. “Madam Tania was not lying. Korda tried to set us all on fire because he couldn’t have the paint.”

“Jironus, do not talk that way about your cousin,” scolded Marla. “It is very dishonest.”

Jironus shrugged. “Sorry.”

Marla was sure that Tania had been lying, however she thought different the following morning. The very same thing happened in their quarters -- the fireplace burst into flames when Korda was told he could not have any cookies until after dinner.

Korda was taken to the castle’s magic laboratory, where he was examined by a brown-haired man named Kiroku, who was a military lieutenant but at the same time a master wizard.

“Your Highness, there is no reason to be alarmed,” stated Kiroku after examining the infant Korda. “He is not suffering from any disease or anything like that. He just has an uncommonly strong concentration of magic in his blood.”

Marla let out a sigh of relief. Then, suddenly troubled, she looked at Korda. “How is it that he has such magic? The only spells I know are based on healing and protection. I know nothing of offensive magic, so why does he conjure fire, and why in such an explosive manner?”

“His father?” asked Kiroku. “Perhaps Gladius knew of elemental spells?”

“You tell me,” stated Marla. “You and my husband were like brothers. He never showed me any fireshow, but perhaps he showed you?”

“I don’t know any more than you, or else I wouldn’t be asking.” he replied.

There was a moment of silence, then Kiroku walked over to a bookcase and removed a spellbook.

“I cannot determine how he is able to use such abilities without having first studied under a wizard, but I can help him to control it. However, he is too young to understand what he is doing at this point. He will continue to set things ablaze whenever his emotions are out of control, and that presents a threat to everyone around him.”

“So what are we to do?” cried Marla, desperate for answers.

“A seal,” replied Kiroku simply.

“What, like a binding?”

“Exactly.”