non erotic poem
- Thread starter ftmix
- Start date
Liar
now with 17% more class
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2003
- Posts
- 43,715
Hi there and welcome to the forum.ftmix said:
A suggestion: Instead of attaching a text file, paste the poem into the message you are posting. That way it's easier for the rest of us to read.
I took the liberty to do that with yours.
#L
----------------------------------------------------------
EVERYDAY by ftmix
I watch in amazement the people I Love
Running scared afraid to open up
Hiding behind Substances of all types so they can
Dull the truth of what's going on inside their hearts
Afraid to touch, Afraid to feel, Afraid to LOVE.
Wasting their life
not realising how precious it is
To feel the joys of truelove
Maybe just once it would be so good
To allow their emotions to take control
To be able to say what's in their heart,
To be able to LOVE
To be able to touch, To be able to COMMIT
And Still I watch in AMAZEMENT
WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
Glad you posted it Liar. I was afraid to click on the attachment. My antivirus software is being a pain and I couldn't check the attachment for viruses. I'm sure there are none, but you never know. 
Anyway, the poem... I've read it twice and still waiting for it to sink in. Okay, in stanza one, are the people you love into drugs or just using any available method to avoid life and love?
ftmix, your poem is telling and not showing. What's going on inside their hearts? Give me examples, details. Being able to love, touch, feel, etc, is too basic and there's too much of it in the poem. Talk to us about the people you love. Maybe pick one of them and give the reader a little story about that person and how she/he is avoiding love.
Anyway, the poem... I've read it twice and still waiting for it to sink in. Okay, in stanza one, are the people you love into drugs or just using any available method to avoid life and love?
ftmix, your poem is telling and not showing. What's going on inside their hearts? Give me examples, details. Being able to love, touch, feel, etc, is too basic and there's too much of it in the poem. Talk to us about the people you love. Maybe pick one of them and give the reader a little story about that person and how she/he is avoiding love.
