M
miles
Guest
There's a lot of truth in this joke:
Subject: Airline Threat
An American Airlines flight enroute from Los Angeles to JFK airport was diverted to Kansas City yesterday when a passenger was noticed attempting to light a fuse protruding from his rectum. Flight attendant Bunny Haggarty said she noticed the man seated in an aisle seat had dropped his pants and
had raised up and was holding a cigarette lighter between his legs "I thought he was trying to light a fart," said Haggarty, "like our pilots are always doing on layovers. Then I saw this string-like thing hanging from his ass, and I got scared." Haggarty immediately called for assistance.
Several male passengers subdued the man before he was able to light the fuse.
After landing in Kansas City, authorities found the man's colon was stuffed with military grade C-4 explosives. FBI agents stated that it would have been a complete catastrophe if the passenger had succeeded in lighting the fuse. The passenger, Mohammed bin Ali el Batout Nabeel Sin Abba Rahim Mansour Ali Baba, age 25, was carrying fourteen passports from various Middle Eastern countries. Asked why he had stuffed himself full of plastic
explosives, Ali Baba stated, "I was planning to blow the chit out of the plane. I wanted to kill all the Americans and Jews to show that we are a peace loving pipple".
Airport security agents in Los Angeles remembered seeing Ali Baba as he boarded the American Airlines flight. They were a bit concerned because his name would not fit on the front of the ticket, he was wearing a checkered tablecloth as a hat, looked like he was ready to kill someone, was reading an al-Quaeda training manual, and had on a "FUCK America" tee-shirt.
However, according to Federal Airport Security standards, individuals cannot be profiled for additional security simply because they are young Middle Eastern men. The security supervisor Leroy Jackson said he was somewhat concerned with the way Ali Baba walked. "Hell, the guy waddled like he
had a stick of dynamite up his ass. Had I not been on the phone with my probation officer, I might have checked this guy out some more but we want and need complete diversity in our passenger screening. Anyway, we think the flight crews on those planes pose more of a threat to safety than one terrorist with an exploding ass. That's why you can always find one of them
pilots in bare feet waiting for his shoes to be X-ray'd. I love seeing the look on their faces when we make them do that. I just hope they don't give them guys guns 'cause they might want to even the score." Federal officials are now referring to this latest terrorist attempt as a "butt bomb." Security experts believe this could be even more difficult to detect than the primitive "shoe bomb" used by terrorist Richard Reid.
"I'm not sure,how, but we're going to check for 'Butt Bombs," stated Jackson. "We don't have the technology to do it, but somehow we've got to check in the interest of safety. I think we should start with flight crews first."
Subject: Airline Threat
An American Airlines flight enroute from Los Angeles to JFK airport was diverted to Kansas City yesterday when a passenger was noticed attempting to light a fuse protruding from his rectum. Flight attendant Bunny Haggarty said she noticed the man seated in an aisle seat had dropped his pants and
had raised up and was holding a cigarette lighter between his legs "I thought he was trying to light a fart," said Haggarty, "like our pilots are always doing on layovers. Then I saw this string-like thing hanging from his ass, and I got scared." Haggarty immediately called for assistance.
Several male passengers subdued the man before he was able to light the fuse.
After landing in Kansas City, authorities found the man's colon was stuffed with military grade C-4 explosives. FBI agents stated that it would have been a complete catastrophe if the passenger had succeeded in lighting the fuse. The passenger, Mohammed bin Ali el Batout Nabeel Sin Abba Rahim Mansour Ali Baba, age 25, was carrying fourteen passports from various Middle Eastern countries. Asked why he had stuffed himself full of plastic
explosives, Ali Baba stated, "I was planning to blow the chit out of the plane. I wanted to kill all the Americans and Jews to show that we are a peace loving pipple".
Airport security agents in Los Angeles remembered seeing Ali Baba as he boarded the American Airlines flight. They were a bit concerned because his name would not fit on the front of the ticket, he was wearing a checkered tablecloth as a hat, looked like he was ready to kill someone, was reading an al-Quaeda training manual, and had on a "FUCK America" tee-shirt.
However, according to Federal Airport Security standards, individuals cannot be profiled for additional security simply because they are young Middle Eastern men. The security supervisor Leroy Jackson said he was somewhat concerned with the way Ali Baba walked. "Hell, the guy waddled like he
had a stick of dynamite up his ass. Had I not been on the phone with my probation officer, I might have checked this guy out some more but we want and need complete diversity in our passenger screening. Anyway, we think the flight crews on those planes pose more of a threat to safety than one terrorist with an exploding ass. That's why you can always find one of them
pilots in bare feet waiting for his shoes to be X-ray'd. I love seeing the look on their faces when we make them do that. I just hope they don't give them guys guns 'cause they might want to even the score." Federal officials are now referring to this latest terrorist attempt as a "butt bomb." Security experts believe this could be even more difficult to detect than the primitive "shoe bomb" used by terrorist Richard Reid.
"I'm not sure,how, but we're going to check for 'Butt Bombs," stated Jackson. "We don't have the technology to do it, but somehow we've got to check in the interest of safety. I think we should start with flight crews first."
