T.H. Oughts
Oh the thoughts of Oughts
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2001
- Posts
- 19,712
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
FIRST DAY Dear Sir: I would like to thank you for the beautiful
partridge in a pear tree. We canned the pears and used the tree for
firewood.
SECOND DAY Dear Sir: I got your doves yesterday. They have been
fighting with the partridge ever since they arrived.
THIRD DAY Sir: The hens you sent me killed the partridge and are
fighting with the doves now. We appreciate the thought, but we have
all the birds we need.
FOURTH DAY Say Fella: The birds you have sent have become quite a
problem. The other tenants are complaining and the feed bill is
ridiculous. I must insist that you not send any more birds.
FIFTH DAY Dear Kris: Thanks for the gold rings. I pawned them to buy
bird feed.
SIXTH DAY SC: Why? Why the six geese? I hope you realize five are
ganders.
SEVENTH DAY Say Buddy: Are you getting my letters? The seven swans are
more trouble than all the other birds together. Have you ever tried
taking a bath with seven swans?
EIGHTH DAY Santa: Thank you very much for the eight maids. They sure
beat taking a bath with swans.
NINTH DAY Dear Mr. Claus: The people in town are beginning to wonder
what is going on here. We now have eighteen women in the house counting
my wife who is getting quite annoyed. By the way, the nine ladies
stopped dancing.
TENTH DAY Sir: I really don't need ten Lords leaping all over the
house, but the ladies enjoy it. It is getting crowded in our two
bedroom apartment with twenty-nine people.
ELEVENTH DAY Santa Darling: I beg of you, no more presents. The eleven
pipers made so much noise that I was evicted from our apartment. Also,
our grocery bill is atrocious.
TWELFTH DAY Dear Santa Claus: There were only eleven drummers since one
of them left with my wife. I am now on welfare with twenty-seven
mouths to feed. We ate the birds and the feed is going fast.
FIRST DAY Dear Sir: I would like to thank you for the beautiful
partridge in a pear tree. We canned the pears and used the tree for
firewood.
SECOND DAY Dear Sir: I got your doves yesterday. They have been
fighting with the partridge ever since they arrived.
THIRD DAY Sir: The hens you sent me killed the partridge and are
fighting with the doves now. We appreciate the thought, but we have
all the birds we need.
FOURTH DAY Say Fella: The birds you have sent have become quite a
problem. The other tenants are complaining and the feed bill is
ridiculous. I must insist that you not send any more birds.
FIFTH DAY Dear Kris: Thanks for the gold rings. I pawned them to buy
bird feed.
SIXTH DAY SC: Why? Why the six geese? I hope you realize five are
ganders.
SEVENTH DAY Say Buddy: Are you getting my letters? The seven swans are
more trouble than all the other birds together. Have you ever tried
taking a bath with seven swans?
EIGHTH DAY Santa: Thank you very much for the eight maids. They sure
beat taking a bath with swans.
NINTH DAY Dear Mr. Claus: The people in town are beginning to wonder
what is going on here. We now have eighteen women in the house counting
my wife who is getting quite annoyed. By the way, the nine ladies
stopped dancing.
TENTH DAY Sir: I really don't need ten Lords leaping all over the
house, but the ladies enjoy it. It is getting crowded in our two
bedroom apartment with twenty-nine people.
ELEVENTH DAY Santa Darling: I beg of you, no more presents. The eleven
pipers made so much noise that I was evicted from our apartment. Also,
our grocery bill is atrocious.
TWELFTH DAY Dear Santa Claus: There were only eleven drummers since one
of them left with my wife. I am now on welfare with twenty-seven
mouths to feed. We ate the birds and the feed is going fast.
